The Fae Nation
Viewing comments for Chapter 29 "Our Day Will Come"Still just a germ of an idea that the moment
2 total reviews
Comment from prettybluebirds
Missing word (the) they were in (the) hallway. Other than that, the story is engaging and exciting. I loved every word. It would be a terrible thing to cut off the wings of a fairy. I look forward to the next chapter.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2022
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Missing word (the) they were in (the) hallway. Other than that, the story is engaging and exciting. I loved every word. It would be a terrible thing to cut off the wings of a fairy. I look forward to the next chapter.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2022
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Oops. Thanks for the spag and the nice review. Glad you liked it
Comment from Fleedleflump
It's nice to read something with interesting descriptions and a sense of atmosphere, and that sticks in one PoV and tense! Sorry, that sounded sarcastic! I very much enjoyed the chapter - couple of thoughts below but extremely minor.
Mike
Thoughts:
'It balled unspeakable horror into a tight, livid ball' - since you've just used 'balled' I'd be inclined to use a different word from 'ball' - perhaps 'bole'
'the other fairies took it up, Peter's knees buckled' - comma should be swapped for a full stop
'As he pushed them open a gust of rain-filled air hit his face.' - suggest a comma after 'open'
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2022
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It's nice to read something with interesting descriptions and a sense of atmosphere, and that sticks in one PoV and tense! Sorry, that sounded sarcastic! I very much enjoyed the chapter - couple of thoughts below but extremely minor.
Mike
Thoughts:
'It balled unspeakable horror into a tight, livid ball' - since you've just used 'balled' I'd be inclined to use a different word from 'ball' - perhaps 'bole'
'the other fairies took it up, Peter's knees buckled' - comma should be swapped for a full stop
'As he pushed them open a gust of rain-filled air hit his face.' - suggest a comma after 'open'
Comment Written 26-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2022
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Oops. Thanks for the spag. Glad you liked it
