Reviews from

Little Girl Stolen

A Child is Abducted.

41 total reviews 
Comment from blondie560
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Excellent telling of a tragic story with a happy ending. I liked how you split the interviews to have each side of the story. I'm surprised that Willis' family who were related to Jack knew nothing of Jack and Jacque (quick note, my niece spells her name the same way. I've never seen it until today to have someone have the same spelling)
to share with Yvonne. But then again I shouldn't be because back then family business was kept tighter than Fort Knox. Young women in families were sent away to a "school" that was a home for unwed mothers. No one ever knew they had a baby. In my own family, my mother's parents divorced when she was 4 and her sister 6. They never saw their father again and have no clue what the divorce was about, why he had no visitation rights, or why an entire side of their family history was cut off. They met their biological grandparents when they were adults with children of their own. Only my mom is left living, so she'll never know, and to this day still thinks it was her fault because she was a girl and not a boy that her father left and didn't want them anymore and she's 82.

 Comment Written 10-Jul-2022


reply by the author on 10-Jul-2022
    Blondi, first, thank you for the six-star review!! Second, I suspect that Willis's family did know, which may explain why Jack's mother decided to be involved, she did not like Yvonne. Third, you have a pretty good story there yourself, maybe you could do something with it. Terry.
Comment from LJbutterfly
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

You're a great storyteller, researcher, and interviewer. Included in this story are many dates, people, and relationships. All is clearly spelled out and described. Jacque lived a happy, but unusual life, torn away from her natural mother. It sounds as though she was still surrounded with love. Great research.

 Comment Written 10-Jul-2022


reply by the author on 10-Jul-2022
    Thank You, I do love your review! Terry.
Comment from nomi338
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

It is bad enough to steal a child away from her mother, but to deny that child, especially a female child the love and guidance of a loving mother is the worst kind of crime. You in effect, murdered that woman. No grand mother, no matter how loving, will ever replace a mother who bore that child, nurtured her, even before she was born. No doubt implanting something inside that child that would never die. I mourn for the things lost to all the parties in this horrible event.

 Comment Written 10-Jul-2022


reply by the author on 10-Jul-2022
    Thank you for your review. I would agree with everything you said, certainly her father was a bad guy. Jacque turned out pretty good from all accounts, I am not sure who to give the credit to, maybe her. Thanks, life can get complicated. Terry
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

What a tragic story for most involved, Terry. You told it
well. I was engaged from start to finish. Your story has
great organization and details. I'm thrilled you found
Jacque through your genealogical work. Your conversations
added great vital details. I could easily follow your story.
The picture is precious.
Thanks for sharing, Jan

 Comment Written 10-Jul-2022


reply by the author on 10-Jul-2022
    Jan thank you for the review, I am glad you found it interesting. Terry.
Comment from Judy Lawless
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Wow, that's an interesting story, Terry! I had a friend whose two-year-old son was stolen from her by the husband she'd left. Fortunately with the help of her father and a private detective, he was found and returned home. I was looking after her infant daughter while she and her dad went to pick him up.

It's wonderful that you were able to learn the whole story eventually and become closer to Jacque and Yvonne.

 Comment Written 10-Jul-2022


reply by the author on 10-Jul-2022
    Judy, thank you for the review and I am glad you found it interesting. Terry.
reply by Judy Lawless on 10-Jul-2022
    You're very welcome, Terry.
Comment from GARY MACLEAN
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Wow, quite a story of intrigue and mystery.

A few simple quotation observations:

Para 9: Need closing quote marks (") after (story.)
Para 10: Need closing quote marks (") after (1945.)
Para 21: Need closing quote marks (") after (wind.)
Para 27: Remove (the) between (in) and (Abilene)
Para 28: Need closing quote marks (") after (number.)
Para 29: I THINK opening quote marks (") not needed before (I called). If you use them then you need closing quote marks (") after (minute.')
Para 29: CONSIDER full quote marks "...") at ('Sure, just a minute.') and no quote marks for the rest of the sentence.
Para 30: I don't THINK this sentence is a quote. If it isn't then you should remove the double quote marks. If you do that, double quote marks ("...") are called for around (Hello.) and (Yes.)

It would be a surprise if we knew how much of this sort of thing goes on every day. I know of a couple other situations, some in my own family, where grandma thinks best and acts on her better instincts. Was it for the good? Who will ever know without the alternative to compare to?

Very detailed account of one little girls' journey through her own family.

Nice tell.


 Comment Written 10-Jul-2022


reply by the author on 10-Jul-2022
    Gary, Thank you for the review and suggestions on the quote marks. I assume the four rating is for punctuation, which seemed related to the quote marks.

    I have had a couple of editors over here look at those quote marks, and we think they are correct. We don't close the marks when changing paragraphs if the same speaker continues to speak. You only close them out when the speaker stops. The single mark was when Yvonne was speaking and quoting someone else.

    I do value your editing input and certainly have used them in the past, but on this story, I think I have got them right. I did check before putting the story up. Thank you, Terry.

reply by GARY MACLEAN on 10-Jul-2022
    I understand what you are saying but you do use the marks in several places then not in others. I think that was the one thing that convinced me of the rating. But if that is a method used where you are from, I will gladly change my rating.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2022
    Gary, Please understand I do value your opinion. I have checked and rechecked it and I think it is correct at least for the way it is done here. There are some who agree with you. When I closed it the way you suggest, I get some negative comments.

    I do think there are some here who think it can be done either way...which of course does not help me a bit, I am damned either way, LOL.

    Susan Newell, a very good writer here on site has spent some time with me on this subject and she gave the story a six, She had one edit and it was my mistake.

    With her six and your four, I guess I felt I couldn't win. You are entitled to your opinion, so whatever you decide will be right for you. Again, Thank you. Terry.
reply by GARY MACLEAN on 10-Jul-2022
    Hey, I am always open to learning new things. If this is one of them then I just have to adjust. I trust Susan a great deal, if she is in accord with the method, who am I to argue.

    It's a shame that FS couldn't at least settle these either/or questions for the writers and reviewers. It would make it easier for both of us.

    I did change my rating though; I hope you noticed. So now you have a six and a five. I'd call that a winner.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2022
    LOL, you are a great and wise man, not for changing your rating (but thank you), but because you have an open mind! Terry.
reply by GARY MACLEAN on 10-Jul-2022
    I am always ready to learn. The most valuable commodity is knowledge. Of course, I am still torn on the quote thing.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2022
    Gary, I checked those paragraphs and Yvonne is still talking. You start the next paragraph with quotes, indicating she is still talking, but you do not close them, even though you changed paragraphs until she stops talking...clear as mud? Terry.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

What an interesting story, Terry. We see such stories on TV but never in real life. What a tragedy to lose one of your children to kidnapping. It would have done me in I think. I doubt I would be able to go on after such an event. Good job. So happy they were reunited after so many years. Amazing! Nancy:)xxxx.

 Comment Written 10-Jul-2022


reply by the author on 10-Jul-2022
    Nancy, Thank you for the review, I am glad you found it interesting. Terry.
Comment from Annmuma
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I love memoirs!!!! What a wonderful story to share. Rather than think of Jacque as a little girl stolen, she sounds as if she was a little twice-found. Love the picture. Perfect for this story. I am please to have the opportunity to step into the characters' minds. Great job, Terry.

ann
Couple of minor things:

I left school in mid-morning, and grandma took me to .... This Grandma should be capitalized.

no electricity, food, and empty liquor bottles.--- reads a little bit awkwardly, but it is dialogue -- so your call

 Comment Written 10-Jul-2022


reply by the author on 10-Jul-2022
    Ann, Thank you for the six-star review!!! I also appreciate the edits. I told you Grandma was tricky for me! The other reflects my notes from the conversation. Thanks, Terry.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I guess I figured out things like this always happened, but we only hear about it today with all the Amber alerts and things. I wonder how often it did happen. HMM, Thank you for sharing. I am glad they finally got to meet.

 Comment Written 10-Jul-2022


reply by the author on 10-Jul-2022
    Barbara, Thank you for the review. Terry.
Comment from evilynne
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

What a fascinating look into your family history you have provided to your readers. It is a well written piece. Your author's note gives additional insight into the nature of the situation. Evi

 Comment Written 10-Jul-2022


reply by the author on 10-Jul-2022
    Evi, thank you for the six-star review!!! I am delighted you enjoyed the story. Terry.