Comment from GARY MACLEAN

Good

Been there. I know what you mean.

A couple of observations though.

The last two lines both have ten syllables, they should only have nine. And the last sentence, (a) doesn't match the tense of (knots).

 Comment Written 05-Jul-2022

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reply by the author on 05-Jul-2022

thanks I will review this and fix it

Comment from Fleedleflump

Excellent

This feels like a great use of the form, tying the bedlam that is a poet's mind from a collection of ideas into a (kinda) coherent presentation package. Which is a long was to say I enjoyed this very much :-)

Mike

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2022

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reply by the author on 01-Jul-2022

thanks appreciate it

Comment from Jannypan (Jan)

Excellent

Mystery Author,
I enjoyed your poem, though it's poignant.
Your words rhyme well. There's smooth flow.
You told a good little story within the required
rules.

I wonder if the last line would read better if the 'a'
was changed to 'of' or even 'in'?
Best wishes in the contest, Jan

 Comment Written 30-Jun-2022

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reply by the author on 30-Jun-2022

thanks I will revise this and try again.

reply by Jannypan (Jan) on 30-Jun-2022

You can use the same words. Just rearrange them according to the rules.