Sweeping the Walls
a rhymed poem56 total reviews
Comment from SLMorrical
I love the flow of this. I can visualize the character, and also see myself as this character. I would love to be carefree and wild and having fun all the time. I am to old to play games on a dare, but would love to win all the time. Well done.
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I love the flow of this. I can visualize the character, and also see myself as this character. I would love to be carefree and wild and having fun all the time. I am to old to play games on a dare, but would love to win all the time. Well done.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2022
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello, Jesse,
I know what you mean. I know people who fit the mold.
Happiness is so subjective... what makes you happy is unique to your own wants and needs...the same for me. Interesting poem. Well done.
Gypsy â?¡
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." -Atticus
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2022
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Hello, Jesse,
I know what you mean. I know people who fit the mold.
Happiness is so subjective... what makes you happy is unique to your own wants and needs...the same for me. Interesting poem. Well done.
Gypsy â?¡
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." -Atticus
Comment Written 27-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2022
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Good morning, Gypsy.
Yes, happiness is subjective so every person is unique in their quest for happiness! Thank you for your kind words, my friend.
Have a super day!
Jesse
Comment from harmony13
The author's words are fun, interesting, descriptive, and creative. I
enjoyed the great rhyming scheme in this poem. The poem flows and
connects well. I thought about things I don't like to do - and yes they
never get done! Great Poem!
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The author's words are fun, interesting, descriptive, and creative. I
enjoyed the great rhyming scheme in this poem. The poem flows and
connects well. I thought about things I don't like to do - and yes they
never get done! Great Poem!
Comment Written 27-Jun-2022
Comment from Teri7
This is a very interesting and well written rhyming poem you have penned. You used very good descriptive words and good rhymes. Thanks for sharing. Blessings, Teri
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This is a very interesting and well written rhyming poem you have penned. You used very good descriptive words and good rhymes. Thanks for sharing. Blessings, Teri
Comment Written 27-Jun-2022
Comment from Spitfire
I know people like this. I agree the narrator has already won because he doesn't let others
'create' his happiness. "Sweeping the walls'' is an interesting expression.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2022
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I know people like this. I agree the narrator has already won because he doesn't let others
'create' his happiness. "Sweeping the walls'' is an interesting expression.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2022
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Good morning!
Creating your own happiness is a great way to see it. And yes, he has already won!
Thanks for the thoughtful review!
Have a wonderful day!
Jesse
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I like this Jesse. It's how most of us would like to be, if only we'd allow ourselves that freedom of independence. Chill out, let things happen as they will. Societies Child! He has the right idea. I enjoyed reading your poem, my friend. Well done! :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2022
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I like this Jesse. It's how most of us would like to be, if only we'd allow ourselves that freedom of independence. Chill out, let things happen as they will. Societies Child! He has the right idea. I enjoyed reading your poem, my friend. Well done! :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 27-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2022
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If we would only allow ourselves the freedom of independence to chill out and let things happen as they will then we would find that inner peace we strive for.
I appreciate your positive feedback and understanding of where I am coming from!
Thank you so much!
Have a wonderful day, my friend!
Jesse
Comment from Ric Myworld
I don't read a lot of poetry these days, trying to keep up with all the stories and hone my own craft. But it's always a pleasure my friend to have one of your posts pop up in my inbox. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2022
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I don't read a lot of poetry these days, trying to keep up with all the stories and hone my own craft. But it's always a pleasure my friend to have one of your posts pop up in my inbox. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2022
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Good morning, Ric. It is always a pleasure to hear from you. I value your input highly.
Thanks for the review.
Have a wonderful week!
Jesse
Comment from Frank Malley
"Sweeping the Walls" has a title which is also its first line. What does it suggest? Sweeping the walls seems ironic or perhaps refers to the work of a graffiti artist who needs new canvas. But there's little else in the poem to support either of these possibilities.
The poem bespeaks a "carefree" soul, confident and unabashed. Its lines seem to acknowledge this feisty beast and not to in any way be critical of him. The inclusion of the phrase "Society's child" adds to our sense of the individual, but is also perplexing, because it suggests, like Janis Ian's song of that title (I think that's who, but I'm unsure) that the focal individual in the poem is an outcome that society creates, rather than the free, self-imagined being that the other lines suggest he is.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2022
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"Sweeping the Walls" has a title which is also its first line. What does it suggest? Sweeping the walls seems ironic or perhaps refers to the work of a graffiti artist who needs new canvas. But there's little else in the poem to support either of these possibilities.
The poem bespeaks a "carefree" soul, confident and unabashed. Its lines seem to acknowledge this feisty beast and not to in any way be critical of him. The inclusion of the phrase "Society's child" adds to our sense of the individual, but is also perplexing, because it suggests, like Janis Ian's song of that title (I think that's who, but I'm unsure) that the focal individual in the poem is an outcome that society creates, rather than the free, self-imagined being that the other lines suggest he is.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2022
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Thank you, Frank, for your in-depth comprehensive review. This poem is left to the reader to interpret as they so choose.
Each reader's interpretation is uniquely different and I love it that way!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Have a beautiful day!
Jesse
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Is this a reflection of how your day goes? Sure isn't mine, as I find myself ensconced in a deep, soft leather Hancock-Moore recliner, daydreaming or watching a soap opera.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2022
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Is this a reflection of how your day goes? Sure isn't mine, as I find myself ensconced in a deep, soft leather Hancock-Moore recliner, daydreaming or watching a soap opera.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2022
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Thanks, Tom, for sharing. The poem is left up to the reader to interpret. And no, it is not how my day usually goes.
Have a nice day,
Jesse
Comment from Pam (respa)
-I like the title and theme of the poem, Jesse.
-Effective imagery and rhyme.
-I like the first verse as he knows he won't ever get done.
-I think most of us feel that way at one time or another,
but it doesn't bother him.
-He is "society's child" and "Knows he has already won."
-We could take a few lessons from this guy!
-Well done.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2022
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-I like the title and theme of the poem, Jesse.
-Effective imagery and rhyme.
-I like the first verse as he knows he won't ever get done.
-I think most of us feel that way at one time or another,
but it doesn't bother him.
-He is "society's child" and "Knows he has already won."
-We could take a few lessons from this guy!
-Well done.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2022
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Thank you, Pam, for the detailed comprehensive review. You always cover all the bases. And, yes, we could take lessons from this guy!
Thanks for choosing your favorite lines and phrases. I appreciate your kind comments very much.
Have a great week!
Jesse
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You are very welcome, Jesse, and I am glad you appreciated the comments and favorite lines and phrases. Have a great week, too!!
