Time Passes By
Sedoka Entry9 total reviews
Comment from Bill Schott
This sedoka, Time Passes By, has the proper formatting and reminds the readers that time may drag on, but that will seem like good old days when the timer's on the final lap.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2022
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This sedoka, Time Passes By, has the proper formatting and reminds the readers that time may drag on, but that will seem like good old days when the timer's on the final lap.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2022
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Thanks for your review.
Comment from jaded831
None of us know how long we have, but I never take chances, I play life safe. In today's world even playing it safe is taking a chance. Your poem makes the reader think about life. Great job.
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None of us know how long we have, but I never take chances, I play life safe. In today's world even playing it safe is taking a chance. Your poem makes the reader think about life. Great job.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2022
Comment from Wendy G
Interesting and thoughtful poem. I like the presentation, as it has impact. Your poem meets all requirements, and it provokes thought as you present man's mortality in a different way - on God's leash. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
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Interesting and thoughtful poem. I like the presentation, as it has impact. Your poem meets all requirements, and it provokes thought as you present man's mortality in a different way - on God's leash. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
Comment Written 28-Jun-2022
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Life is very short and we never realise how short until we are old and if we make it into old age we appreciate every breath we take, a poignant write, love Dolly x
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Life is very short and we never realise how short until we are old and if we make it into old age we appreciate every breath we take, a poignant write, love Dolly x
Comment Written 28-Jun-2022
Comment from Theodore McDowell
Nice response to the prompt. The part that struck me included:
We are on God's leash
Not knowing how far to stretch
Hear the snap of broken life
It looks at time at a slightly different angle than the first stanza, although both emphasize the passing nature of time.
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Nice response to the prompt. The part that struck me included:
We are on God's leash
Not knowing how far to stretch
Hear the snap of broken life
It looks at time at a slightly different angle than the first stanza, although both emphasize the passing nature of time.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2022
Comment from LisaMay
This provides sharp imagery with each stanza showing an aspect of time - temporal time on Earth with our own constructs of clock and calendar, compared with being on 'God time' when He is the one calling time.
We strain at 'God's leash', trying to drag Him along, then running back to Him from time to time to check in. Is it a retractable leash, or will it break!
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2022
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This provides sharp imagery with each stanza showing an aspect of time - temporal time on Earth with our own constructs of clock and calendar, compared with being on 'God time' when He is the one calling time.
We strain at 'God's leash', trying to drag Him along, then running back to Him from time to time to check in. Is it a retractable leash, or will it break!
Comment Written 26-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2022
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Thanks for your review. Not all leashes are retractable, hence the last line with the leash on life snapping.
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too true.
Comment from Sandra Nelms-Ludwig
This is a good poem. I like how the verses are related. It reads as a singular unit. I like that your font is large and easy to read. I like it centered on the visual. However, I would make it black instead of dark blue. Black fits in with the numbers on the clock. Your visual is on point. It goes well with the text. Good luck!
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This is a good poem. I like how the verses are related. It reads as a singular unit. I like that your font is large and easy to read. I like it centered on the visual. However, I would make it black instead of dark blue. Black fits in with the numbers on the clock. Your visual is on point. It goes well with the text. Good luck!
Comment Written 26-Jun-2022
Comment from royowen
A great sedoka, I don't really think we're on God's leash, that would suggest control, but certainly under the shadow of His wings, He has omniscient vision, He knows exactly where we ate, beautifully written, good luck, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2022
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A great sedoka, I don't really think we're on God's leash, that would suggest control, but certainly under the shadow of His wings, He has omniscient vision, He knows exactly where we ate, beautifully written, good luck, blessings Roy
Comment Written 26-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2022
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Thanks for your review. In a way, God does have control. Only He knows when it is time for us to leave the Earth. If we try too early through accident or otherwise he does his best to make sure we don't go before our time.
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I agree
Comment from Bridge
A beautiful and profound poem. I completely agree with the thought expressed in the poem. Very well written and very beautifully expressed. All the best to you in the contest.
With regards
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A beautiful and profound poem. I completely agree with the thought expressed in the poem. Very well written and very beautifully expressed. All the best to you in the contest.
With regards
Comment Written 26-Jun-2022
