Quiet Lawyer
Viewing comments for Chapter 24 "Quiet Lawyer Chapter 13A"Can a broken heart be mended?
27 total reviews
Comment from judiverse
Oh, oh, it looks like Ali's in trouble again. It doesn't seem like Pat's style to use a knife, but maybe he hired someone. Cord already has his plans, so he won't be there to come to her rescue. I'll be curious to see how this turns out. Good strategy to end the post with the threat to Ali. Could it be a kidnaping? Excellent work with the characters. Ali really seems devoted to the work of helping those women who've been assaulted. judi
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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Oh, oh, it looks like Ali's in trouble again. It doesn't seem like Pat's style to use a knife, but maybe he hired someone. Cord already has his plans, so he won't be there to come to her rescue. I'll be curious to see how this turns out. Good strategy to end the post with the threat to Ali. Could it be a kidnaping? Excellent work with the characters. Ali really seems devoted to the work of helping those women who've been assaulted. judi
Comment Written 18-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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Thank you for this kind review.
Comment from Jay Squires
Perhaps you'll explain why you couldn't wait 5 1/2 hours until I had a new supply of sixes backed up to my door. Your writing is certainly of six-caliber, but you'll have to accept it virtually.
"We do." Seth's eyes met Alexandra's. [Seth? Where did he come from? He wasn't the one who tried to steal a kiss from Ale in a previous chapter, was he? Anyway ... he suddenly appeared without introduction in Rosa's kitchen.]
"His left hand pointed a bowie knife at her side and his right arm went around her shoulders." [I must say, I wasn't surprised at this occurrence. Though I don't know who it is yet something HAD to happen since it was portended by so many earlier in the day. I don't know whether that's bad or not. At worst, you might want to rein in on its comments earlier so you won't have some lazy readers skimming their way to the scene they knew was going to happen.]
This is a good chapter, Barbara. Have a nice weekend!
Jay
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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Perhaps you'll explain why you couldn't wait 5 1/2 hours until I had a new supply of sixes backed up to my door. Your writing is certainly of six-caliber, but you'll have to accept it virtually.
"We do." Seth's eyes met Alexandra's. [Seth? Where did he come from? He wasn't the one who tried to steal a kiss from Ale in a previous chapter, was he? Anyway ... he suddenly appeared without introduction in Rosa's kitchen.]
"His left hand pointed a bowie knife at her side and his right arm went around her shoulders." [I must say, I wasn't surprised at this occurrence. Though I don't know who it is yet something HAD to happen since it was portended by so many earlier in the day. I don't know whether that's bad or not. At worst, you might want to rein in on its comments earlier so you won't have some lazy readers skimming their way to the scene they knew was going to happen.]
This is a good chapter, Barbara. Have a nice weekend!
Jay
Comment Written 18-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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Seth is the hero in the novel, I'm writing right now. Sorry. I will consider that. I know one reviewer who's going to gig me on it. Thank you for the kind review. My plans for today have slightly changed. My son ended up being in the hospital and then was transferred to a different one. Waiting, impatiently, I might add, for my husband to get his act together, so decided to be useful and knock out some reviews.
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You mean Seth is in another novel, not this one? You haven't posted any of Seth's novel yet, then? LOL, I'm too old for pop-in guests.
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I'm writing the Seth novel now. It's almost completed.
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Dang! You are so prolific ... It makes me sick, LOL! You just keep them coming, though. I'll always be an avid reader.
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Thank you, that's sweet. I'm close to beginning writing another one, but it's a stretch for me. Not sure I'm up to it.
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I think you'll always manage. Just make sure you get paid for your efforts.
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I'm working on that.
Comment from Theodore McDowell
Wow! A startling and stunning ending to the chapter. The ending has me eager to keep reading. A page-turner. The first part of the chapter seemed steady and uneventful, and then you blew up the entire plot.
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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Wow! A startling and stunning ending to the chapter. The ending has me eager to keep reading. A page-turner. The first part of the chapter seemed steady and uneventful, and then you blew up the entire plot.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from nomi338
Oh my dear God. Someone is going to get it. Someone is going to pay a very high price, I just know it. It will be well deserved, I also know that. I am on board to witness it, I just hope that Ali is not seriously hurt before it happens. You certainly know how to shock a reader, I did not see this coming, you sort of lulled me into thinking she was going to be able to get back to the ranch without incident.
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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Oh my dear God. Someone is going to get it. Someone is going to pay a very high price, I just know it. It will be well deserved, I also know that. I am on board to witness it, I just hope that Ali is not seriously hurt before it happens. You certainly know how to shock a reader, I did not see this coming, you sort of lulled me into thinking she was going to be able to get back to the ranch without incident.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from R. Marc Goodson
You do a really great job with dialogue. Some of the more descriptive parts near the end might be written so that it shows the action rather than describes it. i.e., "After going to a store to buy the cell phone, she stopped by the post office to mail it with a letter introducing herself and explaining what she hoped to accomplish..." Instead: 'She bought a cell phone and mailed it at the post office...'
Here are a couple of places that you might edit:
"Chuckling(,) Jorge teased..." (comma needed after Chuckling.)
"Alexandra parked by the grocery store and decided to walk (to) the places she needed to go. "
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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You do a really great job with dialogue. Some of the more descriptive parts near the end might be written so that it shows the action rather than describes it. i.e., "After going to a store to buy the cell phone, she stopped by the post office to mail it with a letter introducing herself and explaining what she hoped to accomplish..." Instead: 'She bought a cell phone and mailed it at the post office...'
Here are a couple of places that you might edit:
"Chuckling(,) Jorge teased..." (comma needed after Chuckling.)
"Alexandra parked by the grocery store and decided to walk (to) the places she needed to go. "
Comment Written 18-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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Thank you for the catches. I've made the corrections. I appreciate the help.
Comment from royowen
So, an exciting episode leading into the next, it seems she's going to be kidnapped, fortunately she's filed the papers which will subpoena Rogers, but she probably needs to be there, will Cord come to her rescue? You bet he will, beautifully written Barbara, love this one. blessings Roy
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reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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So, an exciting episode leading into the next, it seems she's going to be kidnapped, fortunately she's filed the papers which will subpoena Rogers, but she probably needs to be there, will Cord come to her rescue? You bet he will, beautifully written Barbara, love this one. blessings Roy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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Thank you for the kind review. Cord is busy right now. I wonder who will help her.
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Interesting Barbara
Comment from BethShelby
Wow! I wasn't expecting that. She hardly ever goes to town without getting into trouble and Cord isn't there to rescue her this time.
We do." Seth's eyes met Alexandra's. Who is Seth? I though Cord was talking.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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Wow! I wasn't expecting that. She hardly ever goes to town without getting into trouble and Cord isn't there to rescue her this time.
We do." Seth's eyes met Alexandra's. Who is Seth? I though Cord was talking.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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Seth is the hero in the novel, I'm writing right now. Sorry. I am working on both. Thank you for the kind review.
