haiku (slick trickle of rain)
Muddied thoughts due to the weather.11 total reviews
Comment from GARY MACLEAN
Can't control those thoughts all right. The mind is going to give you what it wants to. Muse or not, if it isn't there, your thoughts really are just mud.
Well done.
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Can't control those thoughts all right. The mind is going to give you what it wants to. Muse or not, if it isn't there, your thoughts really are just mud.
Well done.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2022
Comment from Carolyn Dooley
I can not stand muddy water between my toes. I hate the way it feels. And sometimes your mind has writers block. It can be difficult to come up with the correct words to flow. I hate just sitting at the computer and just staring. Thank you for the message.
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I can not stand muddy water between my toes. I hate the way it feels. And sometimes your mind has writers block. It can be difficult to come up with the correct words to flow. I hate just sitting at the computer and just staring. Thank you for the message.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2022
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent entry for the. Write a Nature 5-7-5 writing prompt contest.
Good syllables count and connection between lines with great presentation and imagery. It flows well with descriptive words that paint a clear mental picture.
Good luck in the contest.
Gypsy
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid" --.Atticus
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Excellent entry for the. Write a Nature 5-7-5 writing prompt contest.
Good syllables count and connection between lines with great presentation and imagery. It flows well with descriptive words that paint a clear mental picture.
Good luck in the contest.
Gypsy
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid" --.Atticus
Comment Written 15-Jun-2022
Comment from lyenochka
There's so much I love about this poem. I makes me feel the rain and the mud. I liked the "slick trickle." And we all can relate to when a damp muse makes our thoughts turn to mud. Hope you do well in the contest!
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There's so much I love about this poem. I makes me feel the rain and the mud. I liked the "slick trickle." And we all can relate to when a damp muse makes our thoughts turn to mud. Hope you do well in the contest!
Comment Written 15-Jun-2022
Comment from Wendy G
I like this comparison of the role of rain turning earth to mud with the poetic experience when a dampened muse results in muddy cloudy thoughts. I like your style! Best wishes for your entry!
Wendy
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I like this comparison of the role of rain turning earth to mud with the poetic experience when a dampened muse results in muddy cloudy thoughts. I like your style! Best wishes for your entry!
Wendy
Comment Written 15-Jun-2022
Comment from JoannaN
Rain can be inspiring, rain can make you lose your muse. I guess it depends on where you are in the moment. Watching rain can be soothing. Thanks for sharing your haiku :)
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2022
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Rain can be inspiring, rain can make you lose your muse. I guess it depends on where you are in the moment. Watching rain can be soothing. Thanks for sharing your haiku :)
Comment Written 13-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2022
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Thanks for your feedback Joanna.
Comment from Lloyd T. Okoko
The objective correlative of your work reminisces a poet's cerebral moment turned sour by muddy thoughts occasioned by rainfall.
The work earns its texture through its strict compliance with the expectant entry specifications of the Nature 5-7-5 Writing Prompt.
Excellent work. Bravo.
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2022
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The objective correlative of your work reminisces a poet's cerebral moment turned sour by muddy thoughts occasioned by rainfall.
The work earns its texture through its strict compliance with the expectant entry specifications of the Nature 5-7-5 Writing Prompt.
Excellent work. Bravo.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2022
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Thanks for your feedback Lloyd.
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Remain Blessed.
Comment from Pantygynt
Apart from Flanders and Swann's 'Hippopotamus Song' I can think of very little that is poetic about mud. Perhaps those who believe in the efficacy of the stuff as a beauty treatment will disagree with me but i think it is cold dirty and wet having nothing whatever to recommend it.
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2022
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Apart from Flanders and Swann's 'Hippopotamus Song' I can think of very little that is poetic about mud. Perhaps those who believe in the efficacy of the stuff as a beauty treatment will disagree with me but i think it is cold dirty and wet having nothing whatever to recommend it.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2022
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Mud, mud, glorious mud - I remember that song!
and I love the feel of it squishing between my toes... I wouldn't put it on my face though.
Comment from Bill Schott
This haiku, Slick Trickle of Rain, presented with a 5-7-5 formatting, turns a poetic stroll into a mired march to escape weather and embrace the ethereal.
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2022
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This haiku, Slick Trickle of Rain, presented with a 5-7-5 formatting, turns a poetic stroll into a mired march to escape weather and embrace the ethereal.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2022
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'mired march' and 'embrace the ethereal' - I enjoyed the alliteration in your review, Bill.
Comment from kahpot
Excellent, yes many of our thoughts often turn to mud when our muse decides not to play, very well written and presented, best wishes for your contest****kahpot
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reply by the author on 15-Jun-2022
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Excellent, yes many of our thoughts often turn to mud when our muse decides not to play, very well written and presented, best wishes for your contest****kahpot
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2022
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Thanks for reviewing!
