Comment from royowen

Excellent

Well I never! Well, hardly ever, it's amazing that someone like Pat McKee would be running the show in hell, but then again, I didn't know the devil had a option on his contract, but he must have. Beautifully written Paul a great offering my friend, and excellent post, very entertaining, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 27-May-2022

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reply by the author on 28-May-2022

Thanks, Roy. I haven't decided, but Patrick may appear again.

reply by royowen on 28-May-2022

A great character

Comment from Spitfire

Exceptional

A long read but worth the time. I enjoy a story where God has a sense of humor. A new take on the situation in Hell and Satan's personality. Best of luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 27-May-2022

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reply by the author on 28-May-2022

Thanks, Spitfire. After observing what's going on down here on Earth, God would have to have a sense of humor.

Comment from Wendy G

Excellent

Wow, quite a ballad about Patrick McKee! The story in a poem flowed well with good rhyme, and it was an entertaining read. I bet it took a while to write!
Well done.
Wendy

 Comment Written 27-May-2022

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reply by the author on 28-May-2022

Thanks, Wendy. I did spend quite a bit of time on this one.

Comment from Jannypan (Jan)

Excellent

Well, Ol' Pat made some kind of impression on God, right, Paul?
Your poem was fun to read with good rhymes, smooth flow and
great imagery. Your words were filled with great descriptions of
all the changes there, but I believe I'll pass just the same.
Best wishes in the contest, Jan

 Comment Written 27-May-2022

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reply by the author on 28-May-2022

Thanks, Jan. Yeah, it is looking pretty good down there, but I think I'll pass, too.

Comment from Dolly'sPoems

Excellent

This is a fun epic rhyming write Paul written with good humour and you made me smile.

Just a couple of suggestions for you:

"He said there usually was a line" (10 syllables in this line)"
usually has 4 syllables.

Perhaps:

"He said there always was a line"


A syllable short in this line:

Perhaps:

"The day he hired (old) Pat McKee"

A fun write Paul, love Christine.

 Comment Written 27-May-2022

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reply by the author on 28-May-2022

Thanks, Christine. Over here in Maine we run some syllables together in our speech, and we drag some out. Your suggestions are good, and I think I will make those changes.

reply by Dolly'sPoems on 28-May-2022

Glad to be of help and I thought it was all about accent, you guys certainly know how to change the English language, ha ha ha, love Dolly x

Comment from Mary Vigasin

Excellent

Very creative and clever rhyme and story. It is an exceptional work and I can imagine the time it took to complete this fun and delightful poem.
Good luck in the rhyming poetry contest.
Best wishes and regards,
Mary

 Comment Written 27-May-2022

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reply by the author on 28-May-2022

Thanks, Mary. It did take quite a long time to write this.

Comment from nomi338

Excellent

Your poetic skills are indeed praiseworthy. You tell a fine tale, your rhymes are impeccable. If I were a lesser man, I would be rather jealous of your skill. As it is, I am just grateful that I get to read for free your wonderful output. Your poem about old Paddy McKee in hell, displays that there is no reason to rob, just put right person in the right job.

 Comment Written 27-May-2022

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reply by the author on 28-May-2022

Thanks for the review. You are too kind in your praise.

Comment from Donna G. (aka Sam Duck)

Excellent

What an imagination you have! Patrick McKee seems like quite the hellion, doesn't he? Very interesting, cute and sassy poem! You have done a good job!

 Comment Written 27-May-2022

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reply by the author on 28-May-2022

Thanks, Sam. It took me quite awhile to write this one.

Comment from Pam Lonsdale

Exceptional

The "cure AIDS" shirt was great - isn't that one of the things we pray to God that he'll do?! Yikes!

This is clever and funny and fun to read. Exceptional effort with this, Paul.

 Comment Written 27-May-2022

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reply by the author on 28-May-2022

Thanks, Pam. The "cure AIDS" stanza was one that I was not sure of. I almost left it out.

Comment from C. Gale Burnett

Exceptional

I believe even God laughs with us as we read your stories of Patrick McKee.
The flow of the story, the humorous storytelling, and the rhythm and rhyme of the poem are exceptional.
Gale

 Comment Written 27-May-2022

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reply by the author on 28-May-2022

Thanks, Gale. I wasn't sure if He would laugh at the "cure AIDS" line.

reply by C. Gale Burnett on 30-May-2022

Yes, that one line did make me stop and ponder.