Take Me Down With You
Cravings & lust.8 total reviews
Comment from Bill Schott
This temptation poem, Take Me Down with You, sends the readers into the tussle which only takes two willing participant-pant-pant-pants. Sweaty.
reply by the author on 21-May-2022
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This temptation poem, Take Me Down with You, sends the readers into the tussle which only takes two willing participant-pant-pant-pants. Sweaty.
Comment Written 21-May-2022
reply by the author on 21-May-2022
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Thank you so much the review!
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
I found this to be extremely expressive, without pushing the word temptation down the readers' throats (the weakness of most other entries). You've got my vote.
reply by the author on 21-May-2022
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I found this to be extremely expressive, without pushing the word temptation down the readers' throats (the weakness of most other entries). You've got my vote.
Comment Written 21-May-2022
reply by the author on 21-May-2022
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Wow, thank you so much! I appreciate your feedback and review!
Comment from Tom Horonzy
If I say what I want to say and have not a way to give fair warning I made be twitterized and shut out from commenting ever again. Good luck in the contest just like you were in love.
reply by the author on 21-May-2022
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If I say what I want to say and have not a way to give fair warning I made be twitterized and shut out from commenting ever again. Good luck in the contest just like you were in love.
Comment Written 20-May-2022
reply by the author on 21-May-2022
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Thank you! I appreciate your review!
Comment from leather
The image is a little hard to make out, but maybe you wanted to give the couple a little privacy? This is a fast read that seems to pick up speed on its own as you read it. I wish you the best in the contest.
reply by the author on 20-May-2022
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The image is a little hard to make out, but maybe you wanted to give the couple a little privacy? This is a fast read that seems to pick up speed on its own as you read it. I wish you the best in the contest.
Comment Written 20-May-2022
reply by the author on 20-May-2022
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Yes, it was privacy and intimacy together. Thank you so much for the review and feedback!
Comment from Sandra Nelms-Ludwig
Well-written poem. It had a great flow/rhythm. I don't feel you need to start every line with a capital letter. Keep some of them lowercase it makes the continuation of the thoughts or actions described seem more connected especially with movement like in this area of your poem~
Down my spine,
in my bones,
my lungs,
my veins,
and across the stars.
reply by the author on 20-May-2022
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Well-written poem. It had a great flow/rhythm. I don't feel you need to start every line with a capital letter. Keep some of them lowercase it makes the continuation of the thoughts or actions described seem more connected especially with movement like in this area of your poem~
Down my spine,
in my bones,
my lungs,
my veins,
and across the stars.
Comment Written 20-May-2022
reply by the author on 20-May-2022
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Thank you so much for the feedback and input! I will definitely keep that in mind when writing in the future. I appreciate the review!
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You are most welcome!
Comment from Lloyd T. Okoko
The objective correlative of your work reminisces two lovers consumed by their emotions in conjugal love.
The work highlights their getting entwined around each other with ultimate satisfaction being their lot.
The work earns its texture through its effective use of imagery.
Excellent work. Bravo.
reply by the author on 20-May-2022
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The objective correlative of your work reminisces two lovers consumed by their emotions in conjugal love.
The work highlights their getting entwined around each other with ultimate satisfaction being their lot.
The work earns its texture through its effective use of imagery.
Excellent work. Bravo.
Comment Written 20-May-2022
reply by the author on 20-May-2022
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Thank you so much! I really appreciate your feedback and review and hearing your experience.
Comment from Eunice Amero
A love poem. It's beautiful. Now and again you come to a love poem that has all the meaning. It would be wonderful to find love like this. No one wants to be alone. Two hearts mended together is a wonderful feeling. Good work and good luck,
reply by the author on 20-May-2022
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A love poem. It's beautiful. Now and again you come to a love poem that has all the meaning. It would be wonderful to find love like this. No one wants to be alone. Two hearts mended together is a wonderful feeling. Good work and good luck,
Comment Written 19-May-2022
reply by the author on 20-May-2022
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Thank you so much! I really appreciate your feedback and review!
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Thank you so much! I really appreciate your feedback and review!
Comment from Fleedleflump
You need to get in here quickly and edit all your dashes in. Guessing this was pasted from a word processor and Fanstory has turned your dashes to gobbledegook!
There's a good poem in there too, of course :-)
Mike
reply by the author on 20-May-2022
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You need to get in here quickly and edit all your dashes in. Guessing this was pasted from a word processor and Fanstory has turned your dashes to gobbledegook!
There's a good poem in there too, of course :-)
Mike
Comment Written 19-May-2022
reply by the author on 20-May-2022
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Thank you so much!! I went in and fixed it. I appreciate you letting me know, and your review!
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Thank you so much!! I went in and fixed it. I appreciate you letting me know, and your review!
