Heart Crafted Poems - 2022
Viewing comments for Chapter 40 "Another Summer Day"Musings of an old man - 2022
33 total reviews
Comment from Pearl Edwards
A beautifully descriptive free verse JLR anout a summers day. I particularly loved your final verse with the sun's luminescence, the sparkling diamonds and the radiance within. Well done, cheers
Valda
reply by the author on 08-May-2022
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A beautifully descriptive free verse JLR anout a summers day. I particularly loved your final verse with the sun's luminescence, the sparkling diamonds and the radiance within. Well done, cheers
Valda
Comment Written 07-May-2022
reply by the author on 08-May-2022
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Valda, thank you.
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
'Another Summer Day ' , is an extremely well-written and spiritually-uplifting piece. It was a privilege to both read and review this talented poet's work. I look forward to seeing your next post.
reply by the author on 03-May-2022
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'Another Summer Day ' , is an extremely well-written and spiritually-uplifting piece. It was a privilege to both read and review this talented poet's work. I look forward to seeing your next post.
Comment Written 03-May-2022
reply by the author on 03-May-2022
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Duchess, I am most appreciative of your kind validation. Thank you.
JLR, you're more than welcome.
Bless you and take care,
the Duchess
Comment from Janice Canerdy
Your vividly descriptive poem is an excellent entry for the Free Versers Club. You have used appealing details to capture the variety of delights on a summer's day.
reply by the author on 03-May-2022
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Your vividly descriptive poem is an excellent entry for the Free Versers Club. You have used appealing details to capture the variety of delights on a summer's day.
Comment Written 02-May-2022
reply by the author on 03-May-2022
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Janice, thank you!
Comment from K. Lang-Slattery
A lovely poem about the sea and the beach. I also find calm and inspiration at the ocean. You have created several really beautiful images. I especially like: "The early risers, the crabbers and fresh salt air grabbers" and " the gentle breeze rustling the tips of seagrass on nearby dunes."
I would have liked to see a less generic description of the young woman....
for me, "lithe, athletic blond" seems a bit too much like "Madison Avenue advertising copy. Sorry.
reply by the author on 02-May-2022
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A lovely poem about the sea and the beach. I also find calm and inspiration at the ocean. You have created several really beautiful images. I especially like: "The early risers, the crabbers and fresh salt air grabbers" and " the gentle breeze rustling the tips of seagrass on nearby dunes."
I would have liked to see a less generic description of the young woman....
for me, "lithe, athletic blond" seems a bit too much like "Madison Avenue advertising copy. Sorry.
Comment Written 02-May-2022
reply by the author on 02-May-2022
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K. Thanks however, one could see the lithe, athletic blond as a young man frolicking with his lab also?
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Of course, but the description is still a bit generic. Just a suggestion for you to look at. Katie
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K - I have reread this and have made this modest change:
A coltish, athletic blond kicking up clumps of sand
along with a youthful yellow lab are bonding.
As she tosses a frisbee sailing unfettered
by the gentle breeze rustling
the tips of seagrass on nearby dunes.
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Yes, I like the use of the word "coltish" better. A clearer picture comes to mind with this word.
Comment from nomi338
A pleasant Summer day is a true blessing. Not too hot, high seventies or low to mid eighties with low humidity, is just about perfect. With temps like this you do not even need to be at the beach to have an enjoyable day. To my mind, this must have been what a day in paradise in the Garden of Eden must have been like. No deprivation, no sickness, no threat of violence, not an angry word or thought. A true paradise.
reply by the author on 02-May-2022
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A pleasant Summer day is a true blessing. Not too hot, high seventies or low to mid eighties with low humidity, is just about perfect. With temps like this you do not even need to be at the beach to have an enjoyable day. To my mind, this must have been what a day in paradise in the Garden of Eden must have been like. No deprivation, no sickness, no threat of violence, not an angry word or thought. A true paradise.
Comment Written 02-May-2022
reply by the author on 02-May-2022
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Nomi, I would dip in this green garden alongside you with out fishing poles and getting to know one another better, thanks 🙏
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Sounds like a wonderful plan that I look forward to.
Comment from karenina
A very descriptive free verse that is sprinkled with alliteration so softly I could feel the sand on my sun-warmed skin... Little bits of internal rhyme, as well... (crabbers/grabbers)-- You've enticed me into the scene and don't mind if I do! I'll just sit awhile and take in the scene you've word-painted!
Karenina
reply by the author on 02-May-2022
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A very descriptive free verse that is sprinkled with alliteration so softly I could feel the sand on my sun-warmed skin... Little bits of internal rhyme, as well... (crabbers/grabbers)-- You've enticed me into the scene and don't mind if I do! I'll just sit awhile and take in the scene you've word-painted!
Karenina
Comment Written 02-May-2022
reply by the author on 02-May-2022
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Karenina - smiling back word-sunrays :)
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Ah. Feels like SUMMER!
Comment from Verna Cole Mitchell
You have a special way of drawing your reader into a warm cozy bubble with your imagery. You have a gift of free verse that makes a wonderful picture that's almost visible.
reply by the author on 02-May-2022
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You have a special way of drawing your reader into a warm cozy bubble with your imagery. You have a gift of free verse that makes a wonderful picture that's almost visible.
Comment Written 02-May-2022
reply by the author on 02-May-2022
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Verna, I delight in your appreciation for this poem.
Comment from Joanne Gill-Maddick
This is a beautifully written free verse poem about summer. Lovely photo to compliment your words as well. As I observe the expansion of the early sun's luminescence transitioning the rocking waves into sparkling diamonds
teasing the sparkle of the eye into a radiance felt deep within my heart, I thank the man above for one more bright sunshiny summer day. Very nicely done.
reply by the author on 02-May-2022
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This is a beautifully written free verse poem about summer. Lovely photo to compliment your words as well. As I observe the expansion of the early sun's luminescence transitioning the rocking waves into sparkling diamonds
teasing the sparkle of the eye into a radiance felt deep within my heart, I thank the man above for one more bright sunshiny summer day. Very nicely done.
Comment Written 02-May-2022
reply by the author on 02-May-2022
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Smiling back with great appreciation for your kind words.
Comment from June Sargent
You are becoming quite the craftsman when it comes to free verse. That is a format I have yet to master. I overthink and don't free flow enough. This one is a beautiful ode to the joys of summer, from your viewpoint. And I like it. This is a typical New Englans scene in the summer:
The early risers, the crabbers and
fresh salt air grabbers are slowly increasing
in numbers as the sun does its daily climb
upward, casting soft pinks and muted reds
overhead.
reply by the author on 02-May-2022
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You are becoming quite the craftsman when it comes to free verse. That is a format I have yet to master. I overthink and don't free flow enough. This one is a beautiful ode to the joys of summer, from your viewpoint. And I like it. This is a typical New Englans scene in the summer:
The early risers, the crabbers and
fresh salt air grabbers are slowly increasing
in numbers as the sun does its daily climb
upward, casting soft pinks and muted reds
overhead.
Comment Written 02-May-2022
reply by the author on 02-May-2022
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June, coming from you who I respect as a very competent writer I am humbly honored! Thank you ...
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Very nice artwork, Jim.
-A well written poem to go with it.
-Effective images paint a good word picture of summer
-I like the second verse with the crabbers,
as well as the color images describing the sun.
-I can picture the blond with her "youthful yellow lab."
-A very good concluding verse, too.
-I enjoyed your poem.
reply by the author on 02-May-2022
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-Very nice artwork, Jim.
-A well written poem to go with it.
-Effective images paint a good word picture of summer
-I like the second verse with the crabbers,
as well as the color images describing the sun.
-I can picture the blond with her "youthful yellow lab."
-A very good concluding verse, too.
-I enjoyed your poem.
Comment Written 02-May-2022
reply by the author on 02-May-2022
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Pam, as always, I absorb every word you provide in your reviews and comments, thank you!
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You are very welcome, Jim, and I appreciate your reply.
