Cotton Candy Clouds
Lune 5/3/5 for the contest15 total reviews
Comment from Sarah Tummey
I love the first line, and it was interesting to read your notes about why Lune was invented as well. I haven't tried writing one myself yet. I really hope yours does well in the contest.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2022
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I love the first line, and it was interesting to read your notes about why Lune was invented as well. I haven't tried writing one myself yet. I really hope yours does well in the contest.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2022
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Thank you very much for your time and review. You're very kind.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from JoannaN
Short, concise, but powerful. Cotton candy clouds - it sounds really nice when read aloud. This poem can be interpreted in many ways, for instance I can see the dark sides of the life (black mountains) lurking in the shade of everything that is fair and fine.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2022
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Short, concise, but powerful. Cotton candy clouds - it sounds really nice when read aloud. This poem can be interpreted in many ways, for instance I can see the dark sides of the life (black mountains) lurking in the shade of everything that is fair and fine.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2022
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Thank you very much for your time and review. You're very kind.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from Mark D. R.
Gypsy,
I really like the artwork visual, coloring, and the imagery in your first two lines. Of course, alliteration is a frequent visitor with my posts. Your first line surely does that for me. The last line is a slight mystery to me as I am unsure of its intent or meaning. You can clue me in if you so choose.
As an alternative, "behind black mountains" keeps the same syllable count. As with any poem, the creator 'knows' the meaning of the specific words or phrasing.
I have often seen that Lune poems are flush left (like a crescent moon image) and not centered, but I doubt it is a fast and hard rule. Lately, I have used the flush left alignment for all my Lune entries.
Best wishes in the contest voting.
Mark
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2022
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Gypsy,
I really like the artwork visual, coloring, and the imagery in your first two lines. Of course, alliteration is a frequent visitor with my posts. Your first line surely does that for me. The last line is a slight mystery to me as I am unsure of its intent or meaning. You can clue me in if you so choose.
As an alternative, "behind black mountains" keeps the same syllable count. As with any poem, the creator 'knows' the meaning of the specific words or phrasing.
I have often seen that Lune poems are flush left (like a crescent moon image) and not centered, but I doubt it is a fast and hard rule. Lately, I have used the flush left alignment for all my Lune entries.
Best wishes in the contest voting.
Mark
Comment Written 25-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2022
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Thank you very much for the kind review and feedback. I wasn't happy with my lune so I changed it completely. I had a couple of people confused. :)
Gypsy hugs
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I prefer your redo! Your coloring adds more pizazz.
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Thank you for checking it out :)
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
You lit the sky here and the contrasting black mountains are patient here, I enjoyed the vibrant scene, a fine lune, I see these scenes on this island on a clear night, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
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reply by the author on 26-Apr-2022
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You lit the sky here and the contrasting black mountains are patient here, I enjoyed the vibrant scene, a fine lune, I see these scenes on this island on a clear night, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2022
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Thank you very much for your time and review. You're very kind.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from jessizero
Your imagery is beautiful. Cotton candy clouds and black mountains are opposing ideas that somehow come together to create a lovely picture. Thanks for sharing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2022
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Your imagery is beautiful. Cotton candy clouds and black mountains are opposing ideas that somehow come together to create a lovely picture. Thanks for sharing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2022
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Thank you very much for the kind review and feedback.
Gypsy hugs
