Mirage
Your Eyes9 total reviews
Comment from Chris Davis
Wow, what a magical read. Eloquently written with excellent imagery and words of beauty. Warm and inviting. I read the piece several times just to embrace the emotions again and again.
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2022
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Wow, what a magical read. Eloquently written with excellent imagery and words of beauty. Warm and inviting. I read the piece several times just to embrace the emotions again and again.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2022
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What a lovely review! Thank you.
Comment from Pantygynt
The journey here I see as a metaphor for the life of these two people. It is a lovely piece. I have just this one suggestion.
'And when we lay
under the moon' - >> I know this is free verse but the rhythm monster in me wants to say 'beneath' rather than 'under'.
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2022
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The journey here I see as a metaphor for the life of these two people. It is a lovely piece. I have just this one suggestion.
'And when we lay
under the moon' - >> I know this is free verse but the rhythm monster in me wants to say 'beneath' rather than 'under'.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2022
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Agreed. I will change that.
Thank you
Comment from R56Ma3
This free verse brings about colorful imagery in a visual and creative way in to this romantic piece. I very much enjoyed reading and I thank you for sharing. R56ma3:Susan C.
reply by the author on 17-May-2022
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This free verse brings about colorful imagery in a visual and creative way in to this romantic piece. I very much enjoyed reading and I thank you for sharing. R56ma3:Susan C.
Comment Written 17-May-2022
reply by the author on 17-May-2022
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Thank you Susan. Have a nice evening
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You're welcome
Comment from Julie Moss
Beautiful colour descriptions, lovely word choice. Possibly it needs some punctuation work. I think some of the words at the start of lines need capitals. But other than that its excellent! Love it!
reply by the author on 17-May-2022
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Beautiful colour descriptions, lovely word choice. Possibly it needs some punctuation work. I think some of the words at the start of lines need capitals. But other than that its excellent! Love it!
Comment Written 17-May-2022
reply by the author on 17-May-2022
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Im very unconventional in my use of capitals and even less w punctuation. Thank you for a positive review it is very much appreciated
C.G. aka cg
Comment from rspoet
Hello Judith,
This is a wonderful free verse poem with marvelous imagery,
dark and mysterious, silver and gold, silken thread.
Eyes are magical, and so is a voice that carries across the dune.
Perfect choice of art work.
Nicely done.
Best wishes to you.
Robert
reply by the author on 17-May-2022
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Hello Judith,
This is a wonderful free verse poem with marvelous imagery,
dark and mysterious, silver and gold, silken thread.
Eyes are magical, and so is a voice that carries across the dune.
Perfect choice of art work.
Nicely done.
Best wishes to you.
Robert
Comment Written 17-May-2022
reply by the author on 17-May-2022
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Thank you
Comment from lancellot
This is very good and I love the visuals. I think at first it seem like independent sentences or lines because of each line begins with a capital letter. I think this may be one of those times where that's not beneficial and punctuations (where to end and begin) may improve reading.
I would suggest making such a version and seeing how you like it versus this one.
Good work.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2022
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This is very good and I love the visuals. I think at first it seem like independent sentences or lines because of each line begins with a capital letter. I think this may be one of those times where that's not beneficial and punctuations (where to end and begin) may improve reading.
I would suggest making such a version and seeing how you like it versus this one.
Good work.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2022
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Thanks. I will.
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Much nicer w that change. Thank you.
Comment from Carolyn Dooley
Yes, in those eyes. The windows of the soul can take you to many places.
People can try to fool you with their charm. However, they can not cover or mask those deceiving eyes. You can look into the eyes, and see love or hate. Thank you for the awareness. Have a great day.
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2022
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Yes, in those eyes. The windows of the soul can take you to many places.
People can try to fool you with their charm. However, they can not cover or mask those deceiving eyes. You can look into the eyes, and see love or hate. Thank you for the awareness. Have a great day.
Comment Written 23-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2022
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You too!
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Was not about good or evil. Or deception by people. Im not raising awareness here.
Was simple about romantic love.
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My bad. I guess, I got caught up in the myth about the eyes. Have a great day.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This sounds like a journey of love with passion as we only have eyes for our lover and we are lost completely inside them, an unusual write, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2022
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This sounds like a journey of love with passion as we only have eyes for our lover and we are lost completely inside them, an unusual write, love Dolly x
Comment Written 20-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2022
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Thank you Dolly for this lovely review.
Comment from Kim Kinakin Tuckey
I enjoyed this poem very much. I liked the contrast in imagery between desert and the water. Very well done. I also liked the artwork chosen. The colours are bright instead of the typical brown desert sand.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2022
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I enjoyed this poem very much. I liked the contrast in imagery between desert and the water. Very well done. I also liked the artwork chosen. The colours are bright instead of the typical brown desert sand.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2022
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Thank you Kim
