Courtney Is Missing
A short story of a family's 3 kids & their dog.35 total reviews
Comment from Bill Schott
Tony, Charles, and Grace are not the typical group of siblings, but your set up for the story makes their character sketches important to the final showdown between Tony and Grace. Works.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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Tony, Charles, and Grace are not the typical group of siblings, but your set up for the story makes their character sketches important to the final showdown between Tony and Grace. Works.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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Thank you. Creativity often means coming up with something new and unexpected, does it not?
Comment from Janetsue
I get so far behind in reviewing that it is hard to catch up. We just do the best we can. Family dynamics are an important part of a child's mental and emotional formation. Children need to feel love and accepted in order to become the best individual they can be. I think the sister is an exceptional character in your story. It is a very creative posting and well-written.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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I get so far behind in reviewing that it is hard to catch up. We just do the best we can. Family dynamics are an important part of a child's mental and emotional formation. Children need to feel love and accepted in order to become the best individual they can be. I think the sister is an exceptional character in your story. It is a very creative posting and well-written.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2022
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Thank you very much.
Comment from John Ciarmello
This is a fine story, nomi. You have put on display the realism of Tony's struggle with his sexuality. If I may:
> I wish we had a bit more insight as to why Tony buried Courtney in the back yard. I
>I'm also wondering if you'd consider changing the fact that Courtney was wrapped in a plastic bag, certainly Leo wouldn't have done that before he buried her which would have brought their parents attention back to Tony. I really enjoyed this read, nomi. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2022
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This is a fine story, nomi. You have put on display the realism of Tony's struggle with his sexuality. If I may:
> I wish we had a bit more insight as to why Tony buried Courtney in the back yard. I
>I'm also wondering if you'd consider changing the fact that Courtney was wrapped in a plastic bag, certainly Leo wouldn't have done that before he buried her which would have brought their parents attention back to Tony. I really enjoyed this read, nomi. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2022
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Thank you so much for your review.
Comment from Tom Horonzy
I find the conversation well-written but for the likes of me I was completely dizzy throughout in trying to keep who was who and where each was supposedly going psychologically.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2022
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I find the conversation well-written but for the likes of me I was completely dizzy throughout in trying to keep who was who and where each was supposedly going psychologically.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2022
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Thank you for your review.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Your story was interesting. Your characters are believable,
the family dynamics work, and there are several issues at
play here. However, the one about the doll is center front.
I like the way it was solved as you wove other angles around it.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2022
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Your story was interesting. Your characters are believable,
the family dynamics work, and there are several issues at
play here. However, the one about the doll is center front.
I like the way it was solved as you wove other angles around it.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 16-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2022
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Thank you. I love your insightful comments.
Comment from royowen
What a really beautiful story, and some will definitely read not it, I had this collective discussion with a couple of friends yesterday, but I'm determined never to make unsubstantiated judgements anyway, it's there business, and God knows what's going on. You're really getting a handle on this prose writing, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2022
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What a really beautiful story, and some will definitely read not it, I had this collective discussion with a couple of friends yesterday, but I'm determined never to make unsubstantiated judgements anyway, it's there business, and God knows what's going on. You're really getting a handle on this prose writing, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 16-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2022
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Thank you brother Roy. It is an ongoing process. I appreciate your comments.
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Most welcome
Comment from J. P. Olesen
Hi, nomi338,
I thought I ought to swing by and have a look at your story.
Very nicely written! Didn't find a single flaw, and I especially appreciate that it's totally a work of fiction. I wish I had that kind of creativity. Nearly all my stuff is based on experience to some degree.
I don't see that this has been entered into any contest, which is too bad. If it was, I think it would have done very well.
Best,
J. P.
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2022
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Hi, nomi338,
I thought I ought to swing by and have a look at your story.
Very nicely written! Didn't find a single flaw, and I especially appreciate that it's totally a work of fiction. I wish I had that kind of creativity. Nearly all my stuff is based on experience to some degree.
I don't see that this has been entered into any contest, which is too bad. If it was, I think it would have done very well.
Best,
J. P.
Comment Written 16-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2022
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Thank you for your comment. I am a little gun shy of contests, as it seems I have never come close to winning even a participation trophy.
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nomi,
Your very welcome. I'm pretty gun shy, too.
The very first story I entered here won, and I haven't come close since. But . . . the only thing better then playin' and winnin', is playin' and losin'.
Best,
J. P.
(hmmm. i screwed up that last sentance. it should read, . . . the next best thing to playin' . . . .)
Comment from Ulla
I read this with great interest and about the dynamics of the family. What puzzled me though is why Tony would attack Grace verbally. She saved her from any embarrassment, after all. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2022
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I read this with great interest and about the dynamics of the family. What puzzled me though is why Tony would attack Grace verbally. She saved her from any embarrassment, after all. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 16-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2022
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I think that maybe you might have misread something. Tony was afraid of Grace because she saw through him at a time when the parents were trying to avoid the elephant in the room regarding is gender identity.
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Oh I see what you mean. I did miss that one I'm ashamed to say.
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No problem. I still appreciate your comments.
Comment from Wendy G
An interesting story dealing with a relevant and current topic. I do wonder if there will be a continuation. I was a bit surprised that he called Grace "evil" as she had in fact saved him from being in trouble. There may be a future story as their relationship, while initially positive, has soured considerably.I feel that this is not the end, especially as Tony has not resolved his gender confusion. Well written.
Wendy
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2022
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An interesting story dealing with a relevant and current topic. I do wonder if there will be a continuation. I was a bit surprised that he called Grace "evil" as she had in fact saved him from being in trouble. There may be a future story as their relationship, while initially positive, has soured considerably.I feel that this is not the end, especially as Tony has not resolved his gender confusion. Well written.
Wendy
Comment Written 16-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2022
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His calling her evil is completely out of fear. He realizes that she has the power to expose him, and he crosses her she just might do that very thing. I thank you for your comments.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This is an excellent discussion of one set of family dynamics, although the characters seemed all too hard to handle. Too many strong people don't really make for a hppy mix.
Potential SPAGs for your consideration:
also like that > also likes that
She also like that she could design (sounds like Courtney is talking here) > Grace also liked that she could design
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2022
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This is an excellent discussion of one set of family dynamics, although the characters seemed all too hard to handle. Too many strong people don't really make for a hppy mix.
Potential SPAGs for your consideration:
also like that > also likes that
She also like that she could design (sounds like Courtney is talking here) > Grace also liked that she could design
Comment Written 15-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2022
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Thank you for your review comments.
