Enshrouding Mists
Rhyming poem32 total reviews
Comment from Jasmine Girl
I really like this rhyming poem a lot and I have noticed a few modifications. I think they made it better like you are putting the "coat" in the end. I'm glad you are entering the contest.
Exceptionally done and you will win.
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2022
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I really like this rhyming poem a lot and I have noticed a few modifications. I think they made it better like you are putting the "coat" in the end. I'm glad you are entering the contest.
Exceptionally done and you will win.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2022
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Hello sweet Lisa. Thank you for your wonderful comments and encouragement. I have really enjoyed being in the class with you. You inspire me with your attention to detail! Thanks again.
Melissa
Comment from royowen
The mysteriousness of possibility of being caught out in these conditions would be a little perplexing and spark the poetic inspiration fo this fabulous poem is possibly the catalyst for the great imagery that's wonderfully projected in this poem, well done Melissa, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2022
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The mysteriousness of possibility of being caught out in these conditions would be a little perplexing and spark the poetic inspiration fo this fabulous poem is possibly the catalyst for the great imagery that's wonderfully projected in this poem, well done Melissa, blessings Roy
Comment Written 31-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2022
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Hello Roy. Thank you. So glad you enjoyed this one.. and yes, it is chocked full of imagery :)
Hugs. Melissa
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Well done
Comment from MissMerri
Having walked the gray streets of Pacific Grove, shrouded in the "damp, tendril fingers" of Monterey fog, I've felt those "shivers shudder 'neath my skin" but never would I have been able to describe the sensation so vividly and so melodically as you have here. This is so beautiful and SO relatable, Melissa. But the most moving words were in the final verse... "And, as I walk this road alone
enrobed in fog's sheer gown of gray,
my isolation feels complete
entombed within the twilight spray."
Wow! I love this entire poem and feel certain it will be a winner in this contest. So creative, so original, so vividly descriptive. Meter and rhymes are spot on. It is perfect in every way.
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2022
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Having walked the gray streets of Pacific Grove, shrouded in the "damp, tendril fingers" of Monterey fog, I've felt those "shivers shudder 'neath my skin" but never would I have been able to describe the sensation so vividly and so melodically as you have here. This is so beautiful and SO relatable, Melissa. But the most moving words were in the final verse... "And, as I walk this road alone
enrobed in fog's sheer gown of gray,
my isolation feels complete
entombed within the twilight spray."
Wow! I love this entire poem and feel certain it will be a winner in this contest. So creative, so original, so vividly descriptive. Meter and rhymes are spot on. It is perfect in every way.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2022
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Hi Adonna. Thank you, dear friend, for the lovely words. I am glad you enjoyed the imagery in this one... it seemed so drab, so the words had to pack a punch. LOL. Thanks again.
Melissa
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Masterfully done. It is an unforgettable poem.
Comment from Janice Canerdy
Your poem is very creatively and skillfully written and vividly descriptive
of an eerie, spine-prickling scenario that makes me think Jack the Ripper might be lurking about. Expressive, excellent piece
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2022
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Your poem is very creatively and skillfully written and vividly descriptive
of an eerie, spine-prickling scenario that makes me think Jack the Ripper might be lurking about. Expressive, excellent piece
Comment Written 31-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2022
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Haha... yes, I thought of old Jack too, but didn't want to add that level of fear into this... more of a sensation of being out in the fog and alone... that's creepy enough... at least for me. LOL. Thanks so much, Janice.
Melissa
Comment from Mrs. KT
Lovely, Melissa!
Today, we, too, experienced bouts of fog = remnants of an ice storm.
I love how the rhythm and rhyme are not forced, and the images are so sublime, I feel as if I am on that road with you!
Thank you for sharing!
Best Wishes!
diane
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2022
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Lovely, Melissa!
Today, we, too, experienced bouts of fog = remnants of an ice storm.
I love how the rhythm and rhyme are not forced, and the images are so sublime, I feel as if I am on that road with you!
Thank you for sharing!
Best Wishes!
diane
Comment Written 31-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2022
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Thanks Diane. I so appreciate your words. I felt that it seemed so gloomy I needed to have the words pack a punch... so heavy on the imagery in this one. :). Hugs!!!
Melissa
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Rhyming poem
Enshrouding Mists
by Sugarray77
Excellent entry for the Rhyming Poetry Contest. The wintery imagery is outstanding. Nice alliteration. The rhymes do not seem forced and your poem flows well. It draws upon emotions and it presents strong images.
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2022
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Rhyming poem
Enshrouding Mists
by Sugarray77
Excellent entry for the Rhyming Poetry Contest. The wintery imagery is outstanding. Nice alliteration. The rhymes do not seem forced and your poem flows well. It draws upon emotions and it presents strong images.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2022
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Hi Gypsy. Thanks so very much!!
Melissa
Comment from juliaSjames
As always your poetry is elegantly composed and beautifully structured. Your strong word choice and use of alliteration create an eerie atmosphere. Fog does have a way of closing one off and muffling sounds. A weird sensation.
Interesting that both of us posted poems on a similar theme today. Fanstory telepathy in action!
Best of luck in the contest, Melissa
Stay safe and blessed
Marilyn
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2022
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As always your poetry is elegantly composed and beautifully structured. Your strong word choice and use of alliteration create an eerie atmosphere. Fog does have a way of closing one off and muffling sounds. A weird sensation.
Interesting that both of us posted poems on a similar theme today. Fanstory telepathy in action!
Best of luck in the contest, Melissa
Stay safe and blessed
Marilyn
Comment Written 31-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2022
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Hey there! Yes, I noticed we both had foggy poems. Great minds think alike... Thank you, sweet Marilyn!!
Melissa
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:-))
Comment from Juliette Chamberlain
I love how you enshrine the atmosphere that fog creates.
You are so right, it creates a world where we are isolated because of limited vision.
The poem is elegant with great rhythm and rhyme.
The assonance of streets, silent, shades in the first verse.
Likewise, spin, small, shivers and shudder in verse two.
Particularly like, 'enrobed in fog''s sheer gown of gray.'
Warmly,
Juliette
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2022
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I love how you enshrine the atmosphere that fog creates.
You are so right, it creates a world where we are isolated because of limited vision.
The poem is elegant with great rhythm and rhyme.
The assonance of streets, silent, shades in the first verse.
Likewise, spin, small, shivers and shudder in verse two.
Particularly like, 'enrobed in fog''s sheer gown of gray.'
Warmly,
Juliette
Comment Written 31-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2022
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Hello Juliette. Thank you so very much for your lovely comments.
Melissa
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Reminded me of a Poe work, and something I wrote fifty years ago. If I can find it I'll forward. Congratulations on the growth you speak of in your bio. Four years and you write very well.
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2022
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Reminded me of a Poe work, and something I wrote fifty years ago. If I can find it I'll forward. Congratulations on the growth you speak of in your bio. Four years and you write very well.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2022
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Hi Tom. Thank you so very much. I learned everything I know from folks here on FanStory and especially the classes they give on this site... invaluable... Really appreciate your comments. I would love to read your verse if you will send it to me.
Melissa
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Classes?? Where are they located?
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On your profile page .. on the left.. is a classroom tab. Follow it. The teacher is Jim who goes by Pantygynt. We are just now finishing up a class on how to write in meter. He plans to hold another class in June on writing foreign poetry forms. You can message him for more info.
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thanks
Comment from Carol Clark2
I like the personification of the mists crawling and the tendrils grasping. Also like the metaphor of the fog's sheer gown of gray, and your alliteration. Good meter and rhymes as well. Nicely written. Best wishes in the contest. Carol
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2022
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I like the personification of the mists crawling and the tendrils grasping. Also like the metaphor of the fog's sheer gown of gray, and your alliteration. Good meter and rhymes as well. Nicely written. Best wishes in the contest. Carol
Comment Written 31-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2022
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Hello Carol... thanks so much for your wonderful comments. Its a little dark, but that is what popped out LOL. Thanks again, my friend.
Melissa
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Good description. I felt like I was walking on a foggy night.
