elephant enjoying spa
5-7-5 (plodding pachyderm)58 total reviews
Comment from nomi338
The healing, soothing power of water on all living things can never be under or overestimated. The absence of water means the absence of life. Without water, there can be no life. The pachyderm with all of his might is just as dependent on water as a tiny bird or mouse.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2022
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The healing, soothing power of water on all living things can never be under or overestimated. The absence of water means the absence of life. Without water, there can be no life. The pachyderm with all of his might is just as dependent on water as a tiny bird or mouse.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2022
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Your philosophical spin is spot on. Yes, the elephant needs that water to survive.
Thanks for your review and stars.
Mark
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A wonderful water colour here delicately painted and you brought the scene to life with your words about the elephants activity here, a good mud soak soothes the thickest of skins, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2022
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A wonderful water colour here delicately painted and you brought the scene to life with your words about the elephants activity here, a good mud soak soothes the thickest of skins, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 12-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2022
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Dolly,
The watercolor was the inspiration for the collaborative verse. Normally, I do the reverse. Are you suggesting that this old elephant, i.e., me, should soften up a bit. LOL
Always appreciate your reviews.
Mark
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Ha ha ha, made me smile Mark x x x
Comment from Darkhorse555
from the title i was smiling thinking they would need one big spa complex, your words drew the picture beautifully baked in the mud soak and misty picture steaming
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2022
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from the title i was smiling thinking they would need one big spa complex, your words drew the picture beautifully baked in the mud soak and misty picture steaming
Comment Written 12-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2022
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Pleased you enjoyed this collaborative poem. The inspiration for the same evolved from the spectacular watercolor painting. Normally, I do the reverse. Short poems are my niche. Longer poems are not within my poetic ability.
Mark
Comment from Frank Malley
"Elephant enjoying spa" is a tribute to the great pleasure an elephant must feel when it lowers its enormous bulk into a mudhole, and its four legs are finally spared bearing a few tons all over. This simple 5-7-5 poem reminds us that Nature sometimes rewards all of her progeny. An excellent ... hmm. Is it a haiku? The categories still raise my eyebrows. Frank
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2022
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"Elephant enjoying spa" is a tribute to the great pleasure an elephant must feel when it lowers its enormous bulk into a mudhole, and its four legs are finally spared bearing a few tons all over. This simple 5-7-5 poem reminds us that Nature sometimes rewards all of her progeny. An excellent ... hmm. Is it a haiku? The categories still raise my eyebrows. Frank
Comment Written 12-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2022
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Frank,
It probably does not qualify as a classic Japanese Haiku, but it is the 5-7-5 format (-; Certainly, it has elements of the classic form.
Do appreciate your review and thoughts about this poem.
Mark
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Very nice artwork and presentation, Mark.
-How did you end up collaborating, if you don't mind my asking.
That was a nice idea.
-The syllable count is good, along with the topic.
-Effective imagery with the "plodding pachyderm wallowing."
-A good concluding line, too.
-I enjoyed reading it.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2022
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-Very nice artwork and presentation, Mark.
-How did you end up collaborating, if you don't mind my asking.
That was a nice idea.
-The syllable count is good, along with the topic.
-Effective imagery with the "plodding pachyderm wallowing."
-A good concluding line, too.
-I enjoyed reading it.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2022
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Pam,
Through the FS message system, I suggested the collaboration with a mutual fan. We had many back and forths on the language to be used. We started with the spectacular illustration - one of two we considered. Then I suggested a first line, Karenina did the second, and I wrote the last. The we noodled the same with different iterations. It was a fantastic experience.
Mark
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Thanks for sharing, Mark. It was a good project. I'm glad it worked out well.
Comment from dragonpoet
This is probably where we got the idea of mud baths in spas for ourselves.
This is a good mixture of artwork and words. Yes, we all plod through life and need rest and relaxation once in a while.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Good luck in the contest.
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2022
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This is probably where we got the idea of mud baths in spas for ourselves.
This is a good mixture of artwork and words. Yes, we all plod through life and need rest and relaxation once in a while.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Good luck in the contest.
dragonpoet
Comment Written 12-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2022
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Joan,
So pleased with your comments about the overall presentation. Like the elephants, we humans do need to chill out once in awhile.
Mark
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You?re welcome, Mark. Yes, we do.
Joan
Comment from Wendy G
The artwork is beautiful! I also enjoyed the alliteration in your three line poem, all well-chosen and appropriate words, which tell the simple story of the life-style of these magnificent creatures. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2022
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The artwork is beautiful! I also enjoyed the alliteration in your three line poem, all well-chosen and appropriate words, which tell the simple story of the life-style of these magnificent creatures. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
Comment Written 12-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2022
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Wendy,
So pleased you liked the artwork and the story portrayed in the poem. Visit her site as the link to her site is in my notes.
Mark
Comment from sunnilicious
I liked your word choice. You have alliteration in every line, (p-w-s words). Well thought out. Nice artwork but not necessary. Nicely done. Great work :)
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2022
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I liked your word choice. You have alliteration in every line, (p-w-s words). Well thought out. Nice artwork but not necessary. Nicely done. Great work :)
Comment Written 12-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2022
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Thank you for your review and stars. I like to use alliteration in many of my poems. However, I don?t force the issue. do appreciate your comments.
Mark
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
'elephant enjoying spa', is short, succinct and deftly descriptive. With a minimum of words this talented poet has told it as it is. Good luck with the contest. My fingers are crossed for you!
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2022
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'elephant enjoying spa', is short, succinct and deftly descriptive. With a minimum of words this talented poet has told it as it is. Good luck with the contest. My fingers are crossed for you!
Comment Written 11-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2022
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Thanks for those fingers crossed D of D! Honestly, the poem was a total collaborative effort with another FanStory poet. Unlike my typical posts, the poem idea started with the illustration and then we twiddled the words back and forth via FS messages.
Mark
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Excuses are just fine. They're accepted on most occasions.
Bless you, the Duchess
Comment from Raul1
I have enjoyed reading your poem. It is interesting and entertaining. It is clear and concise. Excellent work! No grammatical errors. I like how you structured it. Thank you for sharing!
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2022
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I have enjoyed reading your poem. It is interesting and entertaining. It is clear and concise. Excellent work! No grammatical errors. I like how you structured it. Thank you for sharing!
Comment Written 11-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2022
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Raul,
Thanks for your review and stars. Glad you liked its overall presentation.
Mark
