Fami-Lee
Humorous tale of a family's hopes for their son39 total reviews
Comment from Mary Vigasin
I need to give you a six for this not only for the rhyme and it is well-written, but it is also so emotional. The struggles
and heartbreak of the parents and their joyous meeting of their grandson.
Beautifully written and heartfelt.
Best wishes
Mary
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2022
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I need to give you a six for this not only for the rhyme and it is well-written, but it is also so emotional. The struggles
and heartbreak of the parents and their joyous meeting of their grandson.
Beautifully written and heartfelt.
Best wishes
Mary
Comment Written 25-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2022
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Thank you Mary. I added the happy ending for the sake of parents who really did try their best.
Comment from Cindy Decker 2
Nomi,
Your poem flows nicely in the form of a vivid story-poem.
I like your play with words, "Righteous Lee," and "Obvious Lee."
I like the surprise ending.
Great poem, Nomi.
Best wishes
Blessings,
Writing.
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2022
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Nomi,
Your poem flows nicely in the form of a vivid story-poem.
I like your play with words, "Righteous Lee," and "Obvious Lee."
I like the surprise ending.
Great poem, Nomi.
Best wishes
Blessings,
Writing.
Comment Written 25-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2022
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Thank you Cindy. I love your take on my silly little poem.
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: )
Comment from Carolyn Dooley
The picture is great, the message is clear. The poem goes great with the poem. It seemed so real. As if you had gone through this with your grandson. I know it has happened to many parents and grandparents. Thank you for posting this great poem and beautiful picture of a handsome young man of God.
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2022
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The picture is great, the message is clear. The poem goes great with the poem. It seemed so real. As if you had gone through this with your grandson. I know it has happened to many parents and grandparents. Thank you for posting this great poem and beautiful picture of a handsome young man of God.
Comment Written 25-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2022
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Thank you so much. I decided to have some fun with this.
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
' Fami-Lee', is an exceptionally well-written and heart-wrenching piece. It was a privilege to both read and review this outstanding poet's work. To me this is a true six. I look forward to seeing your next post.
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2022
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' Fami-Lee', is an exceptionally well-written and heart-wrenching piece. It was a privilege to both read and review this outstanding poet's work. To me this is a true six. I look forward to seeing your next post.
Comment Written 25-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2022
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Thank you. I fell in love with this poem and had a hard time waiting to post it.
Comment from Thatguypk
This is an affecting story, even if it is a work of fiction. I like the notion of the Grandson returning to the fold of his family roots, but I'd be curious about what happened to the son. Obviously, nothing, as it's fiction, but it's well enough written to encourage me to ask questions. :-) Good job.
PK
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2022
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This is an affecting story, even if it is a work of fiction. I like the notion of the Grandson returning to the fold of his family roots, but I'd be curious about what happened to the son. Obviously, nothing, as it's fiction, but it's well enough written to encourage me to ask questions. :-) Good job.
PK
Comment Written 25-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2022
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Oh he is still sinning under the influence of his own personal Jezebel. He did however, manage to tell his son about the joys of life with his parents, which made his son want to get to know them.
Comment from Leann DS
This is a unique and creative poem that I really enjoyed! If I were to make any suggestions for modifications, it would be to tighten up the syllable count to make each line consistent with the others. This would allow for better cadence and rhythm.
But, in any event, I really like this poem. Thank you for sharing! Have a great weekend. Hugs and blessings.
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2022
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This is a unique and creative poem that I really enjoyed! If I were to make any suggestions for modifications, it would be to tighten up the syllable count to make each line consistent with the others. This would allow for better cadence and rhythm.
But, in any event, I really like this poem. Thank you for sharing! Have a great weekend. Hugs and blessings.
Comment Written 25-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2022
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I was so in love with this poem, that I decided after a few edits to go with it. I could no longer wait to share it.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
We hope to bring up our children in a way to help them cope with life and stay faithful and keep hope in their hearts to battle against those obstacles along the way. We sometimes fail, but we are always there to support them, a fine write, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2022
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We hope to bring up our children in a way to help them cope with life and stay faithful and keep hope in their hearts to battle against those obstacles along the way. We sometimes fail, but we are always there to support them, a fine write, love Dolly x
Comment Written 25-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2022
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Thank you Dolly. Whie there was a definite message included in the story, I just wanted to share a story that came to me in my sleep. something that has happened with the last three poems I have posted.
Comment from Jane Jane King
This is a delightful, heartwarming little tale with a sense of frolic and fun. I don't think you need the coma after who teaches and scriptures in the first stanza. Overall very entertaining and a good piece of work.
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reply by the author on 25-Mar-2022
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This is a delightful, heartwarming little tale with a sense of frolic and fun. I don't think you need the coma after who teaches and scriptures in the first stanza. Overall very entertaining and a good piece of work.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2022
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Thank you Jane. I will consider your suggested thoughts on further editing.
Comment from Bev Kenik
As a speech pathologist, I like the word play on the names in the story . This traveled nicely through time, into the next generation. Nice conflict in the middle with a surprise resolution in the end.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2022
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As a speech pathologist, I like the word play on the names in the story . This traveled nicely through time, into the next generation. Nice conflict in the middle with a surprise resolution in the end.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2022
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Thank you. Your comments gave me a huge smile.
