Fami-Lee
Humorous tale of a family's hopes for their son39 total reviews
Comment from karenina
I was struck by the power of this tale. Fiction, it may be, but it plays itself out in families and in towns from north to south, from east to west. Every parent prays to keep their child from evil... At some point, as my mom used to say, we have to realize we have two jobs:
1) Teach them how to walk
2) Teach them how to walk away
One we have much control over, the other, by definition releases our child to the world and all temptations therein.
Beautifully penned. May we all have the grace to welcome the lost sheep back to the fold!
Karenina
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2022
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I was struck by the power of this tale. Fiction, it may be, but it plays itself out in families and in towns from north to south, from east to west. Every parent prays to keep their child from evil... At some point, as my mom used to say, we have to realize we have two jobs:
1) Teach them how to walk
2) Teach them how to walk away
One we have much control over, the other, by definition releases our child to the world and all temptations therein.
Beautifully penned. May we all have the grace to welcome the lost sheep back to the fold!
Karenina
Comment Written 26-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2022
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Your assessment is so masterful, it could be maybe even should be found in a textbook. Thank you so much.
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Thanks, but really? Everything I gleaned, I gleaned from YOUR work!
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You are too kind. And I love it. Thank you seems inadequate.
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Just keep smiling and writing! That is all I ask!
Comment from BLACKTITANIUM86
This was a very meaningful and hot write. For, possesses creativity, while sticking to the subject matter. And for some reason, when our people write, it's heart felt. And I guess it's cause we're not used to benefitting from privaledge. Keep writing
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2022
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This was a very meaningful and hot write. For, possesses creativity, while sticking to the subject matter. And for some reason, when our people write, it's heart felt. And I guess it's cause we're not used to benefitting from privaledge. Keep writing
Comment Written 26-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2022
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Yes sir. We are guided at times by our ingrained wisdom fired by experiences that have molded and shaped us into who we are. I believe that despite being hated, even despised, we are irresistible, because we are, at the end of the day, undeniably real.
Comment from Janet Foor
Thank you for sharing this story of Fami-Lee. While it may be fiction, it was a pleasure to read and I smiled as I finished the last line. Thankfully, Hope is eternal.
Blessings
Janet
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2022
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Thank you for sharing this story of Fami-Lee. While it may be fiction, it was a pleasure to read and I smiled as I finished the last line. Thankfully, Hope is eternal.
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 26-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2022
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I am a product of things I have read, heard, and experienced. Even when I write fiction, there is an element of reality there because I cannot fathom how to write of something I cannot even imagine.
Comment from royowen
There's one thing that struck me with your marvellous poem bro. It seems inevitable that one's children will be tempted away from the Lord, but because God is a generational God, He honours the descendant for His own name's sake and in the power, and for the sake of His Son. Beautifully written my friend, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2022
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There's one thing that struck me with your marvellous poem bro. It seems inevitable that one's children will be tempted away from the Lord, but because God is a generational God, He honours the descendant for His own name's sake and in the power, and for the sake of His Son. Beautifully written my friend, blessings Roy
Comment Written 26-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2022
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Thank you Brother Roy. When I wrote this, I thought of my own children and what I thought about what they might do, and what I hope they would do. From there I formed the basis of what my characters would be inspired to do.
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Well done
Comment from jessizero
I like your story/poem very much. It was entertaining. I also like the picture you selected to accompany the piece. Thank you for choosing to share this here.
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2022
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I like your story/poem very much. It was entertaining. I also like the picture you selected to accompany the piece. Thank you for choosing to share this here.
Comment Written 26-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2022
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Thank you very much for your kind and supportive comments.
Comment from lancellot
This is a fun little tell. No hidden message but maybe a few obvious ones (sorry, couldn't help it.) Good rhymes and nice story. Kids aren't houses or machines you can build with a blueprint. We try to guide. we can't control.
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2022
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This is a fun little tell. No hidden message but maybe a few obvious ones (sorry, couldn't help it.) Good rhymes and nice story. Kids aren't houses or machines you can build with a blueprint. We try to guide. we can't control.
Comment Written 26-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2022
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Thank you for a wonderful, fun review. I did notice your tongue in cheek reference, I loved it.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-A good image and presentation, nomi.
-Your notes are appreciated.
-A well written poem with effective
imagery and rhyme about Righteous Lee.
-It seems his parents had everything worked out for him,
"But then she came to town."
-He tried to live up to their expectations, but
she had cast her spell. I like what follows
with the parents afraid "failure would send their son to hell!"
-His folks were persistent, but he left town, and
then one day "Obvious Lee" knocked on their door.
-The parents were so joyful. I bet they thought
they would get through to Obvious, but I
don't know if that it is going to work!
-Obviously, I think Lee thought he needed
to get away from Righteously!
-A fun read. Have a great weekend.
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2022
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-A good image and presentation, nomi.
-Your notes are appreciated.
-A well written poem with effective
imagery and rhyme about Righteous Lee.
-It seems his parents had everything worked out for him,
"But then she came to town."
-He tried to live up to their expectations, but
she had cast her spell. I like what follows
with the parents afraid "failure would send their son to hell!"
-His folks were persistent, but he left town, and
then one day "Obvious Lee" knocked on their door.
-The parents were so joyful. I bet they thought
they would get through to Obvious, but I
don't know if that it is going to work!
-Obviously, I think Lee thought he needed
to get away from Righteously!
-A fun read. Have a great weekend.
Comment Written 26-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2022
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Thank you for your great review comments. You apparent-lee (sorry) paid attention to the whole poem. Thank you for that.
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You are very welcome, and I like your pun. You are correct in your assumption about my 'attention to the whole poem.'
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello Nomi338,
You have beautifully depicted 'the return' of a misled boy to his loving family.
Impressive phraseology;
Smooth flow throughout from the beginning to the end with lovely rhyming scheme.
The last two stanzas are particularly noteworthy.
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2022
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Hello Nomi338,
You have beautifully depicted 'the return' of a misled boy to his loving family.
Impressive phraseology;
Smooth flow throughout from the beginning to the end with lovely rhyming scheme.
The last two stanzas are particularly noteworthy.
Comment Written 26-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2022
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Thank you for reading and absorbing the entire poem. Sadly some reviewers do not. I appreciate your comments.
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Nomi338, Most Welcome!
With best wishes,
~ RP
Comment from Charity Stewart
I love the flow and rhyming scheme. It's a great story. The background pic you took goes well with the story. You have talent. Keep writing. I hope you have a great evening.
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2022
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I love the flow and rhyming scheme. It's a great story. The background pic you took goes well with the story. You have talent. Keep writing. I hope you have a great evening.
Comment Written 26-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2022
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Hey Charity, thanks for taking the time to read my latest effort. You know when I put my poems in one of my books I am a lot freer with my expression. It is only when I know other poets are checking me do I pay closer attention to syllable count and such.
Comment from jake cosmos aller
i love this narrative poem about a righteous man seduced by an evil woman and the resulting grandchild being born of there unholy alliance.
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2022
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i love this narrative poem about a righteous man seduced by an evil woman and the resulting grandchild being born of there unholy alliance.
Comment Written 25-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2022
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A classic American story right? Thank you for your great review comments.
