The Messenger
from God17 total reviews
Comment from Wendy G
I had to look up the lyrics of the song, as I didn't know it - but it made me doubly impressed by your story. I found that your story was extremely well written, and maintained my interest throughout. You have a great imagination! Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2022
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I had to look up the lyrics of the song, as I didn't know it - but it made me doubly impressed by your story. I found that your story was extremely well written, and maintained my interest throughout. You have a great imagination! Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
Comment Written 03-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 03-Mar-2022
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thanks, Wendy. The lyrics left me cold, but your remarks have made my day! :)
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You had my vote. Best wishes for a placing.
Wendy
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Very interesting story with a little bit of Jonah and a bit of Lot, looking for a worthy man. It is a very well-written story with an important message. So happy the priest was the man he hoped he was.
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2022
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Very interesting story with a little bit of Jonah and a bit of Lot, looking for a worthy man. It is a very well-written story with an important message. So happy the priest was the man he hoped he was.
Comment Written 01-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2022
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thanks, Carol. I appreciate your comments.
Katharine
Comment from K.L. Rockquemore
I really enjoyed reading your story. It is well written. The descriptive words you chose paint a tremendous amount of imagery. Your writing feels honest and strong. Well done.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2022
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I really enjoyed reading your story. It is well written. The descriptive words you chose paint a tremendous amount of imagery. Your writing feels honest and strong. Well done.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2022
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thank you. Your kind words are much appreciated.
Comment from Cheryl C.
That is a piece of brilliant writing. I enjoyed it from top to bottom. It was humorous, riveting and poignant all at the same time. I would hope that I could be one of the people to answer in the affirmative. Loved this!
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2022
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That is a piece of brilliant writing. I enjoyed it from top to bottom. It was humorous, riveting and poignant all at the same time. I would hope that I could be one of the people to answer in the affirmative. Loved this!
Comment Written 27-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2022
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I hope I would, too, Cheryl.
I am thrilled over your wonderful comments and truly and humbly thank you. and for the lovely 6!!!
Katharine
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
You did a good job with this. i have a piece up currently inspired by the same song. You did exactly as was required and took the inspiration from the song. It didn't have to be mentioned or the lyrics used but the piece has clear links to it. nice.
I made a few notes as i read through-
"Father Jim, I picked you for this assignment because you are worthy. Your disillusionment and doubt, however, made Satan agree to go along with this challenge. So. Here it is. I want you to be my 'messenger.' You shall go among the people of this town and tell them you have a message and a question for them from God. Tell them that the Devil wants to play poker for their souls, betting that their belief in Me isn't strong enough to be tested. The test is a personal one for each person. Ask them, "If you could save someone's life even though it could jeopardize your own, would you do it?" - you need a second set of closing speech marks at the end here. the current ones only close off God's question, and not his actual dialogue.
"I always know, my son.- need closing speech marks here.
And where will you be, Lord?"- need opening speech marks here.
and asked him, "if you were swimming in the ocean and a shark was heading for your son, would you draw the shark away from your son, endangering yourself?"- dialogue here should probably start with a capital.
"Yes," she said honestly, "But also because we haven't seen - dialogue following the tag is continuing dialogue and as such should start lower case.
All new dialogue should start with a capital even if comes after proceeding tags and no matter where in a sentence the dialogue kicks in.
Best of luck
G
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2022
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Hi there,
You did a good job with this. i have a piece up currently inspired by the same song. You did exactly as was required and took the inspiration from the song. It didn't have to be mentioned or the lyrics used but the piece has clear links to it. nice.
I made a few notes as i read through-
"Father Jim, I picked you for this assignment because you are worthy. Your disillusionment and doubt, however, made Satan agree to go along with this challenge. So. Here it is. I want you to be my 'messenger.' You shall go among the people of this town and tell them you have a message and a question for them from God. Tell them that the Devil wants to play poker for their souls, betting that their belief in Me isn't strong enough to be tested. The test is a personal one for each person. Ask them, "If you could save someone's life even though it could jeopardize your own, would you do it?" - you need a second set of closing speech marks at the end here. the current ones only close off God's question, and not his actual dialogue.
"I always know, my son.- need closing speech marks here.
And where will you be, Lord?"- need opening speech marks here.
and asked him, "if you were swimming in the ocean and a shark was heading for your son, would you draw the shark away from your son, endangering yourself?"- dialogue here should probably start with a capital.
"Yes," she said honestly, "But also because we haven't seen - dialogue following the tag is continuing dialogue and as such should start lower case.
All new dialogue should start with a capital even if comes after proceeding tags and no matter where in a sentence the dialogue kicks in.
Best of luck
G
Comment Written 27-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2022
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Well, Mr. G, you deserve recognition here, certainly, for your suggestions for corrections. Thank you. will get right to them.
Looking forward to reading yours.
Katharine
Comment from lyenochka
This is an engaging spiritual story. I like how you described Father Jim as someone who was tired of ministry. And then God gave him a challenge. Like Jesus Who lived among the people, Father Jim, had to be among God's people to develop a love for them. I don't know that song you mentioned in the notes but this seems to be a really challenging contest. Best wishes!!
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2022
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This is an engaging spiritual story. I like how you described Father Jim as someone who was tired of ministry. And then God gave him a challenge. Like Jesus Who lived among the people, Father Jim, had to be among God's people to develop a love for them. I don't know that song you mentioned in the notes but this seems to be a really challenging contest. Best wishes!!
Comment Written 27-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2022
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Thanks, Helen. I didn't know the song, either. Thought it was awful, so it WAS challenging. Apparently Giraffemang has the same song. Am looking forward to reading his.
Comment from T B Botts
Hello Katherine,
I'm pleased to extend my last six to you for this exceptional story. It was well thought out. I wasn't sure what direction it was going, but it held my attention the whole time. I've wondered about myself more than once, how I would react to a life threatening situation- would I do the right thing, or run from it and suffer regret for the rest of my life? I honestly don't know. Thanks for sharing this thought provoking story. Good luck in the contest.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2022
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Hello Katherine,
I'm pleased to extend my last six to you for this exceptional story. It was well thought out. I wasn't sure what direction it was going, but it held my attention the whole time. I've wondered about myself more than once, how I would react to a life threatening situation- would I do the right thing, or run from it and suffer regret for the rest of my life? I honestly don't know. Thanks for sharing this thought provoking story. Good luck in the contest.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom
Comment Written 26-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2022
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I feel the same way. I hope I would have the courage with my own family, but a stranger? Don't know.
Thank you for the great response and the lovely 6, AND the good wishes.
Katharine
Comment from Ginnygray
Great read and definitely a great example of the greatest love to sacrifice for another! I enjoyed reading this Pome Lover! The message was a true example of unselfish love and caring for others especially at a cost for the person involved!
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2022
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Great read and definitely a great example of the greatest love to sacrifice for another! I enjoyed reading this Pome Lover! The message was a true example of unselfish love and caring for others especially at a cost for the person involved!
Comment Written 26-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2022
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Ginny, it sounds like you read it before I changed the ending. Here 'tis. Hope you like it better. Father Jim came out a winner instead of a victim. see below:
Katharine
As Father Jim approached the park bench, he saw that there were two homeless men sitting there. One of them took an expensive looking watch from his pocket and the priest heard him say, "Well, Dad, I?ve hung on to your watch as long as I could, but I?m down to my last nickel and I can?t find a job anywhere even when I get cleaned up, so?"
The next thing Father Jim knew, a man was pointing a gun at the old fellow, telling him to hand over the watch. Horrified, the priest rushed over to help, putting himself in front of the man with the watch. The man sitting next to him rose and put his hand on the robber's arm and said, "Go in peace." The robber slowly lowered his gun and walked away. The old man with the watch jumped up and scooted off, counting himself lucky.
God looked at Father Jim with pride. The priest had proved that his love for his fellow man was there all along, as well as his faith. He had won the challenge and demonstrated the goodness and courage in mankind, and God was pleased.
As for Satan, he was a terrible loser, cursing, loudly, as he sank, soul-less, back down into Hell.
Comment from royowen
I like your story, it was similar to another one I read, but different, both Satan and God, vying for the souls, but he will be No1 accused in the dock ate the end of time, when much younger I read a Stephen King a story that was were the devil, but really lost, was doomed to be both God and Satan, beautifully written dear friends blessings Roy
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2022
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I like your story, it was similar to another one I read, but different, both Satan and God, vying for the souls, but he will be No1 accused in the dock ate the end of time, when much younger I read a Stephen King a story that was were the devil, but really lost, was doomed to be both God and Satan, beautifully written dear friends blessings Roy
Comment Written 26-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2022
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Thank you, Roy. I hope you read it after I changed the ending so that Father Jim came out a winner instead of a victim.
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I did
Comment from Shirley McLain
You did an excellent job, and I didn't find any errors. I loved reading about God's challenge to father. I am very much a believer of God and Satan. I can see Satan challenging God, even though I know he's going to lose in the end. Have a wonderful weekend. Shirley
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2022
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You did an excellent job, and I didn't find any errors. I loved reading about God's challenge to father. I am very much a believer of God and Satan. I can see Satan challenging God, even though I know he's going to lose in the end. Have a wonderful weekend. Shirley
Comment Written 26-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2022
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thanks, Shirley
you have a good one, too.
