Carter's Run
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Chapter 1 - part 3"The lives of a teacher and teen collide.
7 total reviews
Comment from robyn corum
Deb,
You are number 72 (and the very last) in my mailbox. hahaha But when I was going through and trying to figure what I could delete - I saw you there. And could not resist. I KNEW I would be in for a delight - and I was certainly right.
I'm glad you are continuing this story. It's utterly compelling and soooo intriguing! I also really like these characters. They are as realistic as the chair I'm sitting in - very 3D. And friendly and fun.
Only one note:
--> what had really happenedâ?"If it was simply a
--> just get rid of those symbols from Evil Eddie
Thanks!
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2022
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Deb,
You are number 72 (and the very last) in my mailbox. hahaha But when I was going through and trying to figure what I could delete - I saw you there. And could not resist. I KNEW I would be in for a delight - and I was certainly right.
I'm glad you are continuing this story. It's utterly compelling and soooo intriguing! I also really like these characters. They are as realistic as the chair I'm sitting in - very 3D. And friendly and fun.
Only one note:
--> what had really happenedâ?"If it was simply a
--> just get rid of those symbols from Evil Eddie
Thanks!
Comment Written 19-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2022
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Thank YOU! You are always so encouraging and I love your sharp skills at catching what I miss. I appreciate you.
I'm hoping to post the beginning of chapter 2 today, after I illustrate 3 spreads and prep the last of my lesson for the kids tomorrow morning. lol. So... It might be tomorrow noon before I can post again. (Because I really shouldn't have done anything here today at all!) :)
Thank you again!
Comment from AJ McCall
I love where this story is going... AND the banter between Jonathan and Fowler, LOL. Nothing like good ole' buddies talking. ;) A shoving match? I'm pretty sure it was more than that. I didn't read part 2 so I'll have to go back to see what that one's got. I absolutely LOVE this story, DEB!
I wish to write like this one day...
Anyway, I hope you had a great weekend!
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2022
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I love where this story is going... AND the banter between Jonathan and Fowler, LOL. Nothing like good ole' buddies talking. ;) A shoving match? I'm pretty sure it was more than that. I didn't read part 2 so I'll have to go back to see what that one's got. I absolutely LOVE this story, DEB!
I wish to write like this one day...
Anyway, I hope you had a great weekend!
Comment Written 13-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2022
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I did have a great weekend and hope you did, too, Asha. We didn't do a lot, but it was a nice, quiet time. Our oldest granddaughter turned 18 on Sunday... How is that even possible? And how old do I sound... lol!
You are already such a gifted writer - far better than I was at your stage in the game. You're going to far exceed your own expectations which, I think, are probably pretty high. Set the bar way up there and go for it! You're fully capable.
Catch you later,
Deb
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Aww, you're too kind Deb... LOL. Your granddaughter and I are just three months apart. Tell her, I wish her a happy belated birthday!... ;) And you are not THAT old, lol. I'm trying t make as many goals as I can. ;) Thanks.
Comment from Jay Squires
Great plot flow, fine character depiction (with only one area of confusion, shown below). Your timing and your transitions are flawless and you keep the readers' interest from first to the end ... with just that little "stutter" in the middle.
Jonathon, that's a side of you I neverâ?" [Hi, Debora. You need to go back into the edit mode and clean up the HTML garbage that FS leaves on your line where you intended (I believe) a dash (which should always be two dashes, unless it's a hyphen separating two words.) ]
have to move in with you andâ?" [Again ... I won't point out any more]
It had taken a few minutes for his brain to rise out of the mush of sleep, [Great image!]
It had taken a few minutes for his brain to rise out of the mush of sleep, but now he knew exactly who the boy was. [Who? Jonathon? I thought he was a doctor, now you make him seem like he teaches at Nicholas's school! ... As I read further, I see that Jonathon isn't the MD you had been portraying (and who readers from the beginning of your story would know about)]
f any of this was real. He still felt like he was in the middle of some Twilight Zone-style dream. [This just hangs on at the end and doesn't seem to refer to anything that went before. It does point to one thing, though, and I must ask:
Do you read your post again after you push send? I think it's a must to do so, Debra.
Your special writing skills still pulled me through from beginning to end in an entertaining way. And I know you will make the changes.
Jay
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2022
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Great plot flow, fine character depiction (with only one area of confusion, shown below). Your timing and your transitions are flawless and you keep the readers' interest from first to the end ... with just that little "stutter" in the middle.
Jonathon, that's a side of you I neverâ?" [Hi, Debora. You need to go back into the edit mode and clean up the HTML garbage that FS leaves on your line where you intended (I believe) a dash (which should always be two dashes, unless it's a hyphen separating two words.) ]
have to move in with you andâ?" [Again ... I won't point out any more]
It had taken a few minutes for his brain to rise out of the mush of sleep, [Great image!]
It had taken a few minutes for his brain to rise out of the mush of sleep, but now he knew exactly who the boy was. [Who? Jonathon? I thought he was a doctor, now you make him seem like he teaches at Nicholas's school! ... As I read further, I see that Jonathon isn't the MD you had been portraying (and who readers from the beginning of your story would know about)]
f any of this was real. He still felt like he was in the middle of some Twilight Zone-style dream. [This just hangs on at the end and doesn't seem to refer to anything that went before. It does point to one thing, though, and I must ask:
Do you read your post again after you push send? I think it's a must to do so, Debra.
Your special writing skills still pulled me through from beginning to end in an entertaining way. And I know you will make the changes.
Jay
Comment Written 13-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2022
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Changes made, Jay - thank you. I need to go back and read with full attention (instead of Grandmomma-playing-with-Granddaughter attention) because I didn't think Jonathan was mentioned until well after Carter is introduced to the characters in part 1 of chapter 1. I'll check it out and see what I did. lol. Augh...
Blessings,
Deb
Comment from lyenochka
Yep, it really is a Twilight Zone event and same for his buddy Jonathon who really is in a twilight zone half asleep. That has to be a really good friend to dare to wake up for something like this!
There are some of those odd FS characters and "f any of this was real." (If)
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2022
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Yep, it really is a Twilight Zone event and same for his buddy Jonathon who really is in a twilight zone half asleep. That has to be a really good friend to dare to wake up for something like this!
There are some of those odd FS characters and "f any of this was real." (If)
Comment Written 13-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2022
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Thank you, Helen. I tracked down and caught that Evil Eddie. He's ka-poot! lol
Blessings,
Deb
Comment from Carol Clark2
Good chapter! I'm glad you were able to post another one. And I'm glad Nick is seeking advice from a medical doctor. Hopefully this all won't backfire on him. Blessings on your week. Carol
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2022
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Good chapter! I'm glad you were able to post another one. And I'm glad Nick is seeking advice from a medical doctor. Hopefully this all won't backfire on him. Blessings on your week. Carol
Comment Written 12-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2022
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Carol, I hope your Valentine's Day was lovely and that your week is blessed, as well. :)
Thank you for the encouragement to keep going.
How's your project progressing?
Blessings,
Deb
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It will take a few months to get through my project. I had stopped working on it, waiting for the contract to finally arrive, so I need to backtrack a bit to pick up the threads. Hope yours are progressing well. Thanks for asking. Have a blessed week. Carol
Comment from lancellot
Very interesting. I think the the editor bug bit your post in a few places. But it's nothing you can't fix.
notes:
and most of his {head.Ã??} Nick bit his lower
- edit
Jonathon, that's a side of you I {neverâ?"}
- edit
I'd probably lose my job, have to move in with you {andâ?"}
-edit
"You'll just call back if I hang up, won't you?"
-Insert a space between-
"Yeah. Every 30 seconds until you come over." Ni
"Don't call {backâ?"}Dianne's still asleep.
-edit
f any of this was real.
- edit
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2022
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Very interesting. I think the the editor bug bit your post in a few places. But it's nothing you can't fix.
notes:
and most of his {head.Ã??} Nick bit his lower
- edit
Jonathon, that's a side of you I {neverâ?"}
- edit
I'd probably lose my job, have to move in with you {andâ?"}
-edit
"You'll just call back if I hang up, won't you?"
-Insert a space between-
"Yeah. Every 30 seconds until you come over." Ni
"Don't call {backâ?"}Dianne's still asleep.
-edit
f any of this was real.
- edit
Comment Written 12-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2022
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Thank you SO much for helping me with this. That editor is such a pain and it's hard for me to find them. YOu get a gold star tonight. It's not as good as a gold medal, but still...
Thank you and blessings,
Deb
Comment from Giftedone.Eric Wallace .
Well thank you for sharing this And it's part 3 so I gotta catch up on 1 and 2 thanks again fit's again for sure I wish you well in your everyday endeavors stay blessed thank you
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2022
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Well thank you for sharing this And it's part 3 so I gotta catch up on 1 and 2 thanks again fit's again for sure I wish you well in your everyday endeavors stay blessed thank you
Comment Written 12-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2022
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Thank you, G.G. That means a lot to me. I'm honored that you're going to catch up. :)
Blessings to you and yours,
Deb
