Heart Crafted Poems - 2022
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Drifting - Life's hazards"Musings of an old man - 2022
15 total reviews
Comment from Pearl Edwards
I like your mono-rhyme stanzas JLR, you did that well and told the story of this man, drifting through life but still, little reminders to - let your spirit glow. A good life lesson interpretation for the Pix This club. Nicely done.
cheers
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2022
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I like your mono-rhyme stanzas JLR, you did that well and told the story of this man, drifting through life but still, little reminders to - let your spirit glow. A good life lesson interpretation for the Pix This club. Nicely done.
cheers
Comment Written 18-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2022
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Pearl, thank you so very much.
Comment from Liz O'Neill
This began with a hint of a cautionary tale as if there were two choices of trail. Our character of focus took the healing growth oriented, life oriented. Good subject.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2022
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This began with a hint of a cautionary tale as if there were two choices of trail. Our character of focus took the healing growth oriented, life oriented. Good subject.
Comment Written 14-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2022
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Thanks for your review and analysis.
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***smile***
Comment from Anne Johnston
Well done on this poem about "drifting". I really liked the lines:
"But just a moment in time, a sudden shift, in this rat race
brought him face to face with God's Grace,"
So glad that the Lord reaches down and lifts us from our drifting to new life in Him.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2022
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Well done on this poem about "drifting". I really liked the lines:
"But just a moment in time, a sudden shift, in this rat race
brought him face to face with God's Grace,"
So glad that the Lord reaches down and lifts us from our drifting to new life in Him.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2022
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Anne we are truly given his abiding love in even in our shortcomings.
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You are welcome
Comment from K.L. Rockquemore
I enjoyed reading your poem. Your writing is beautifully paced, well done! What a strong message you conveyed and so relatable. I hope you keep writing.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2022
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I enjoyed reading your poem. Your writing is beautifully paced, well done! What a strong message you conveyed and so relatable. I hope you keep writing.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2022
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Thank you for the validatio , K.
Comment from Kit Nongkhlaw
You describe the exact place that many of us had been and where I had personally mired in darkness. But there is hope in God. I drifted to this place but by His grace, I could come back alive and safe. Thanks for sharing, Kit
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2022
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You describe the exact place that many of us had been and where I had personally mired in darkness. But there is hope in God. I drifted to this place but by His grace, I could come back alive and safe. Thanks for sharing, Kit
Comment Written 13-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2022
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Kit, at one time, I was mired in the darkness having lost the light. Are we not the blest ones ... your six-stars are so encouraging, thank you
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Sir, if we had never been in darkness, we will never know the Light.
Comment from HarryT
Very nice work expressing the author's belief in a spiritual life in which one can reach peace when it is sought. Rhyming follows the suggested pattern and does not seem forced. The entire poem flows well and achieves the author's goal of letting the reader know that there is spiritual aid when needed.
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2022
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Very nice work expressing the author's belief in a spiritual life in which one can reach peace when it is sought. Rhyming follows the suggested pattern and does not seem forced. The entire poem flows well and achieves the author's goal of letting the reader know that there is spiritual aid when needed.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2022
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HarryT I am grateful for your review!
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Your welcome. Be safe.
Comment from karenina
Really fine poetry is evolving from this photo! Yours among them! The beauty of this club is there is joy in watching each of you take your inspiration and run with it! Fascinating!
Karenina
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2022
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Really fine poetry is evolving from this photo! Yours among them! The beauty of this club is there is joy in watching each of you take your inspiration and run with it! Fascinating!
Karenina
Comment Written 13-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2022
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Yes -- such creative minds!
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It's how I imagine a poetry workshop would be...though I'd never be able to afford to attend one!
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Karenina have you considered applying for Metre Class Scholarship? It is a fantastic offering - look at the last listing under Clubs for more information...
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No, I hadn't heard of it.
Thank you! I will look now!
Comment from lyenochka
Cool mono-rhymed quintain stanzas! And you gave us the down side of life first, then the radical change because of the encounter with God, and finally, the last stanza brings it altogether, accepting the challenges of life but urging us to "let our spirits glow."
One suggestion:
it called doom, fate, or lot in life, (it's) I felt like it read as "it is called..."
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2022
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Cool mono-rhymed quintain stanzas! And you gave us the down side of life first, then the radical change because of the encounter with God, and finally, the last stanza brings it altogether, accepting the challenges of life but urging us to "let our spirits glow."
One suggestion:
it called doom, fate, or lot in life, (it's) I felt like it read as "it is called..."
Comment Written 13-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2022
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Thank you.
Comment from Cecilia R
I was pulled in by the first two stanzas and how they flowed. The third seemed more confusing, especially the last few lines. The poem's subject had depth and emotion that was well expressed.
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2022
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I was pulled in by the first two stanzas and how they flowed. The third seemed more confusing, especially the last few lines. The poem's subject had depth and emotion that was well expressed.
Comment Written 12-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2022
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Refined! thanl you for your honest reflection.
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Glad, you have a great topic and start.
Comment from royowen
Writing in monorhyme with this uneven meter would take some doing. You're doing a great job my friend, I admire that you are breaking out Jim, you're doing a fantastic job, well done, blessings Roy
Typo : Spirit(')s embrace.
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2022
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Writing in monorhyme with this uneven meter would take some doing. You're doing a great job my friend, I admire that you are breaking out Jim, you're doing a fantastic job, well done, blessings Roy
Typo : Spirit(')s embrace.
Comment Written 12-Feb-2022
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2022
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Got it fixed thank you!
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Welcome
