Reviews from

Quiet Lawyer

Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Quiet Lawyer Chapter 4"
Can a broken heart be mended?

27 total reviews 
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a very good chapter. Just enough questions about rustlers to make it exciting to read more, and Cord seems to realize what an awful person Alan was without blaming him, just pointing out his errors.

 Comment Written 05-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 06-Feb-2022
    Thank you for catching that. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from nomi338
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Another 'Barn Burner' of a story is brewing here, and I love it already. You could even go as far as to say I am already hooked. and you would be correct. I am totally all in on the developing plot, and the relationship that is slowly developing between Cord and Ali. I will patiently wait for the next thrilling episode I am so sure will be forthcoming.

 Comment Written 05-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 06-Feb-2022
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from judiverse
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

There's a lot of excitement here with the arrival of the new horse, yet to be trained. Alexandria and the horse seem destined to be best friends. To me, adding animals to a story increases the interest! They do their cattle rustling by helicopter these days! Times have changed. This reminds me of "Dallas." Don't worry about the internet. We'll be glad to see your work when internet's available. Enjoy visiting with your mother. judi

 Comment Written 05-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 06-Feb-2022
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Jay Squires
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a lovely story to leave us with if you don't post again until you return from Missouri. I like the way Cordero is progressing in expressing his feelings with Ali.

I only had one thing to mention:

"Cord says she's not precious, but -. Never mind. [Why do you use a single dash? You should only use a single dash as a hyphen, but you know that. I believe it's because of the HTML garbage that FS editor throws. I get that with my M-dash, which I use a lot! I go into the edit mode and fix all of them at once. I consider it all as part of the writing process. It doesn't really take long.]

Have a safe trip, Barbara and take it as a relaxing vacation.


 Comment Written 05-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 06-Feb-2022
    I have had many reviewers tell to use a single dash. Hmmm, not I'm confused. Thank you for the kind review.
reply by Jay Squires on 06-Feb-2022
    Take a minute to review Chicago Manual of Style's short article (1 minute): https://tinyurl.com/2rsr4jxk
    You'll find it helpful.
    Jay
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2022
    I tried but my malware refused to allow it. It said, it contained a trojan. I went to my writing books. I think I have it correct now.
reply by Jay Squires on 06-Feb-2022
    my links come with a Trojan so your computer won't get impregnated with a virus. Just kidding. Glad you got it figured out.
Comment from Dawn Munro
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Wow, Barbara, I WISH I could take on more reading because this is wonderful! I simply have w-a-y to much on my plate...
But hey, it's not all bad news -- I can buy the book, right, when it's published?

*smile*

 Comment Written 05-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 06-Feb-2022
    Thank you for the kind review.
reply by Dawn Munro on 06-Feb-2022
    Very much my pleasure -- the book is going to be a winner, IMHO.
Comment from Judy Lawless
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Interest is beginning to show between Cord and Alexandra, and I think there is a love going on between Alexandra and Jewel too. So nice to see. Maybe Jewel will keep Alexandra around. Well done.

A couple of spags: "I know now(how) much Cord likes ice cream."
"Cordero came into) the kitchen."

 Comment Written 05-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 06-Feb-2022
    I've made the correction. Thank you for the catch.
reply by Judy Lawless on 06-Feb-2022
    You're welcome, Barbara.
Comment from royowen
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A lovely episode Barbara, with all things falling into place, everything seems to be in an exciting distance of relationship, Ali falling for Cordero, great parents and a just the right touch of villainy to have the story's emotions in all the right peace's. Have a great time at your mum's. 90's a great age, my mum didn't quite make it, she died at 89, beautifully written. Barbara, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 05-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 05-Feb-2022
    Thank you for the kind review and travel wishes.
reply by royowen on 05-Feb-2022
    Most welcome Barbara
Comment from Shirley McLain
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I am loving this story, but I don't think there is a one of yours that I've read that I haven't liked. Have a great time on your vacation and enjoy your mother. The world is never the same without them. Have a wonderful day. Shirley

 Comment Written 05-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 05-Feb-2022
    Thank you. Because of COVID I haven't seen Mom since July of 2019. We were going in September, but while at a hotel I fell and broke my wrist, so the trip had to be aborted.
Comment from dellsworthpoet
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This has all the earmarks of a classic romance novel. The characters, at least in this bit, seem un-flawed which detracts from suspended disbelief. The flow is good. The language fits and is warm and friendly. The story unfolds without side distractions.

I would caution that if you are writing about current time be sure to include some unfortunate facts. Tumbleweed is an epidemic in the southwest and often makes roads almost impassable. It also has large barbs that can ruin the finish of a vehicle. Second there is an overgrowth of mesquite, a short thorny tree. It is the bane of cattlemen and is often cut and burned. Might research these things to add some extra depth to the setting.

A good read. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 05-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 05-Feb-2022
    Thank you and I have, but so far it doesn't fit in the story. Both Cord and Ali have issues.
reply by dellsworthpoet on 05-Feb-2022
    You are welcome.
Comment from Anne Johnston
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Thank you for this very interesting chapter. Hope they catch those rustlers.
Have a lovely visit with your mother, how nice that you can be there for her 90th. birthday.

 Comment Written 05-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 05-Feb-2022
    Thank you for the kind review.
reply by Anne Johnston on 05-Feb-2022
    You are welcome