Reviews from

Awakened

a Shakespearean sonnet

31 total reviews 
Comment from jaded831
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Congratulations your poem is vivid and speaks to the writer in me. I have been since writing before there were cell phones and I pads, at night if I woke up inspired I never had a pen or paper near. Now I just tap it out and have it.

 Comment Written 09-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 09-Mar-2022
    Thanks so much. I have heard from others that they also get inspired in the night and have to write it down. So glad you liked it and can relate!

    Melissa
Comment from dragonpoet
Excellent
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Melissa,
This smooth poem tells of the problem our muses give us. They choose odd times to inspire us. I have also woken up in the night with an idea and had to write it down in fear of forgetting it if I went back to sleep.
Congrats on placing second in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Joan

 Comment Written 09-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 09-Mar-2022
    Hi Joan. Thanks so much. I have heard from others that they also get inspired in the night and have to write it down. So glad you liked it and can relate!

    Melissa
reply by dragonpoet on 09-Mar-2022
    You are most kindly welcome, Melissa.
    W
Comment from MissMerri
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is so beautiful and so masterfully written Melissa. I loved it and I'm glad to see it win a prize in the contest. Second place is nothing to sneeze at in such a wide competition. Congratulations! I loved the whole poem and thought any writer would relate strongly, but I especially loved this stanza:
"As dawning light bestirs, I rest my pen,
reflecting on each line that fills my page.
Each stanza dances with a lilting spin,
as though it lives a life upon the stage."

There is something so satisfying about finishing a poem you've worked on for hours, and seeing it "dance upon the page." You've expressed it so well.

Adonna

 Comment Written 08-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 08-Mar-2022
    Thank you so very much, Adonna. I must confess it was a bit autobiographical... I do get these nagging ideas in the night and just have to get up and write. LOL. Hugs, my friend.

    Melissa
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Good
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At times sonnets are favorites of mine but I also find that if I intertwine the rhying lines side by side rather than with an interjectory line between they read so much clearer to me. Would that still be sonnetry?
For instance:
Upon the edge of darkness there's a thought
From slumber's arms should I emerge ~ be caught,
with shards of light that gleam and tantalize
within poetic dreams as they arise?

Far from the edge of sleep they beckon me
Temptation pulls at me incessantly,
to rouse myself and come and play with words.
succumbing, I soon hear the morning birds.

As dawning light bestirs, I rest my pen,
Each stanza dances with lilting spin,
reflecting on lines that fills my page.
as though they lives upon the stage.

When inspiration sparkles in the night,
I rise, awakened by the urge to write.

I have done this with Browning, Shakespeare, Wordsworth and others.
Though I write a lot of free verse I believe my heart desires I return to being a simple poet.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 04-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 04-Feb-2022
    Hi Tom. There are different types of sonnets. Mine is a Shakespearean sonnet and requires an abab, cdcd, efef, gg rhyme scheme. Your style is called a modern sonnet. When entering a sonnet contest, the poet usually puts which type it is in the subtitle box. Thank you for your comments on this verse. It was very interesting.

    Melissa
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent
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Awakened
by Sugarray77

Excellent entry for the Sonnet Poetry Contest. The rhymes do not seem forced and your poem flows well. It draws upon emotions and it presents strong images.

My favorite stanza...

"Far from the edge of sleep"

Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 01-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 01-Feb-2022
    Thank you very much, Gypsy. I am so glad you liked the sonnet. I do get awakened in the night with ideas and inspiration. I thought I would write about it :)

    Melissa
Comment from Father Flaps
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Melissa,
I have to say it, you are one of the best poets in Fanstory. I haven't seen such perfect writing since adewpearl (Brooke) graced Fanstory's halls.
I love this poem. So many times, I find myself awake in the middle of the night with an urge to take a pen and get creative. You never know what will happen. I never plan a poem. It evolves, from one line to another. Ideas come. Sometimes a door is locked. Sometimes it opens. You know me so well. But I realize you're writing about yourself in this sonnet, where time passes quickly. Magically sometimes. What have you accomplished when dawn breaks through the window?
You keep this up, Melissa, and you're going to be published.
An excellent entry for the Sonnet Poetry contest! Good Luck, my talented friend!
Hugs,
Kimbob

 Comment Written 31-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 31-Jan-2022
    Hey there KB. Your review knocked my socks off. I am so glad you liked the sonnet and that you also could relate to that moment of inspiration as you are trying to fall asleep :). So appreciate you, my friend.

    Melissa
Comment from Anne Johnston
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is a beautiful sonnet, describing something we all experience now and then - waking with a lot of thoughts in our head and having to get up and write them down, because we know they will be gone in the morning.
Love your closing lines: "When inspiration sparkles in the night,
I rise, awakened by the urge to write."

 Comment Written 30-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 30-Jan-2022
    Hello Anne. Thank you for your wonderful and encouraging review. I always seem to need a pen and paper at my bedside :). Hugs!

    Melissa
reply by Anne Johnston on 30-Jan-2022
    You are welcome
Comment from poetwatch
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I wish my words came as easy as yours, Melissa. Right now, I'm trying to write for the club "Picture this." I got it but I don't know... so until tomorrow, with fresh new eyes, I hope it will develop as I want it to. I don't know how long you stayed writing your sonnet, but it sounds and looks pretty good. This is a very good offering for the Sonnet Poetry Contest. Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 29-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 30-Jan-2022
    Thank you very much, Jose. The words do not come so easily, my friend, I push and pull and tug them along :). Also, I have taken classes here on FanStory and they were a tremendous help. There is another one coming up in March that teaches about writing in Meter. I appreciate you!!

    Melissa
Comment from Mrs. KT
Excellent
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What a glorious sonnet, Melissa, and a message that will resonate with many writers!
How often a thought, a spark, or a phrase will come to me, and if I don't write it down - even in the wee hours of the morn - it is lost...forever!
You have employed such beautiful phrases and images!

One thought to edit:
Temptation pulls at me incessantly, (;)
succumbing, I soon hear the morning birds.

Thank you for sharing!
Just beautiful!
diane

 Comment Written 29-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 29-Jan-2022
    Hello Diane. Thank you for your lovely words and thoughts on punctuation.. I always need help with that! :). So glad you like it!!

    Melissa
Comment from Terry Broxson
Excellent
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A very good sonnet for this contest. There is no question you will reach the writers and should do well in this contest, good luck. I have heard others express similar pulls to write. It's not how it works with me, but you describe it beautifully.

 Comment Written 29-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 29-Jan-2022
    Thank you Terry for the wonderful comments on this sonnet. I am delighted that you enjoyed it!

    Melissa