Family Justice
A Talk With An Angel17 total reviews
Comment from eliz100
This was another great read. I really love the sense of your spirituality that comes through. My prayers are with you. There is no room for improvement. God Bless.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2022
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This was another great read. I really love the sense of your spirituality that comes through. My prayers are with you. There is no room for improvement. God Bless.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2022
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Yes, I am proud to say the Lord lives deep in my heart and he is the only reason I have made it through so many tragedies in my life. Thank you for blessing my writing with your stars.
Hugs, Carol
Comment from BLACKTITANIUM86
You know what? It's supposed to get this deep, when and if you ever
get the chance to talk to an Angel. And you have that witty ability
to take the reader through a deep maze. And that's entertaining in
the world of the Performing Arts. Stay Connected.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2022
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You know what? It's supposed to get this deep, when and if you ever
get the chance to talk to an Angel. And you have that witty ability
to take the reader through a deep maze. And that's entertaining in
the world of the Performing Arts. Stay Connected.
Comment Written 19-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2022
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Once again you flatter me. I so appreciate your kindness and for taking the time to review my work. Have a great day!
Smiles, CArol
Comment from LJbutterfly
I enjoyed this thought provoking story of family love and tragedy and love. I had to re-read some parts in order to fully understand. The fact that Jason is sitting on his porch remembering the morning's verdict, sounds like the jury found him not guilty.
I'm confused about the 2 guns. "Tommy, and I agreed that the gun I gave him was the one that shot Leroy...I gave him the real gun."
We know Jackson couldn't get his gun to work, so he didn't shoot Leroy. Annie was dragging her doll and blanket. Jason found a doll blanket hidden beneath a fallen branch. I know that is a clue, but I didn't fully get it. In any event, I enjoyed this very imaginative tale.
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I enjoyed this thought provoking story of family love and tragedy and love. I had to re-read some parts in order to fully understand. The fact that Jason is sitting on his porch remembering the morning's verdict, sounds like the jury found him not guilty.
I'm confused about the 2 guns. "Tommy, and I agreed that the gun I gave him was the one that shot Leroy...I gave him the real gun."
We know Jackson couldn't get his gun to work, so he didn't shoot Leroy. Annie was dragging her doll and blanket. Jason found a doll blanket hidden beneath a fallen branch. I know that is a clue, but I didn't fully get it. In any event, I enjoyed this very imaginative tale.
Comment Written 19-Jan-2022
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Even with everything you're going through, you still have your writing. This is very good.
I don't read the following as dialogue. It reads like Jason is relaying the story.
"Of course, I answered back he was wrong. He had the gun, the body, and my confession."
"That's when I knew it wasn't an open and shut case like I wanted it to be. Tommy pulled me aside, stared into my eyes, and told me he'd always thought I was a poor shot, but he knew I hadn't ever shot a man in the back."
"Back at the station, over a fifth of whiskey, Tommy and I argued about the shooting all night. I kept telling him to let it go, but he said he didn't want me to go to jail for something I didn't do."
"I finally had to tell him the secret I'd been keeping for months. The Doc told me cancer was having a picnic inside me, and it wouldn't be much longer. Maybe it was time I paid for those crimes I got away with and consider this a bonus. When he threatened me, I asked which one of my family he was going to destroy, and with me dead, there would not be much evidence."
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Even with everything you're going through, you still have your writing. This is very good.
I don't read the following as dialogue. It reads like Jason is relaying the story.
"Of course, I answered back he was wrong. He had the gun, the body, and my confession."
"That's when I knew it wasn't an open and shut case like I wanted it to be. Tommy pulled me aside, stared into my eyes, and told me he'd always thought I was a poor shot, but he knew I hadn't ever shot a man in the back."
"Back at the station, over a fifth of whiskey, Tommy and I argued about the shooting all night. I kept telling him to let it go, but he said he didn't want me to go to jail for something I didn't do."
"I finally had to tell him the secret I'd been keeping for months. The Doc told me cancer was having a picnic inside me, and it wouldn't be much longer. Maybe it was time I paid for those crimes I got away with and consider this a bonus. When he threatened me, I asked which one of my family he was going to destroy, and with me dead, there would not be much evidence."
Comment Written 19-Jan-2022
Comment from Ric Myworld
You always know how to find the softest spots to stick the icepicks or rub the soreness away. I just lie back in the water and let you take me where you will. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2022
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You always know how to find the softest spots to stick the icepicks or rub the soreness away. I just lie back in the water and let you take me where you will. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 19-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2022
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I am just finishing up another short story... this one should touch a few spots I think. Lol Thanks for making me smile again.
Hugs, Carol
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
What a lovely ending to this tragic story, Carol. I'm glad Caleb took Jackson away straight away. You wrote this beautifully, with Jason talking to his angel wife and God, the emotions came across so real, it was as if we were listening to his confession, taking the blame for all the families troubles. Excellent writing, my friend. Very well done! Love and hugs. (Hope you doing better, my dear one. xxx)
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2022
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What a lovely ending to this tragic story, Carol. I'm glad Caleb took Jackson away straight away. You wrote this beautifully, with Jason talking to his angel wife and God, the emotions came across so real, it was as if we were listening to his confession, taking the blame for all the families troubles. Excellent writing, my friend. Very well done! Love and hugs. (Hope you doing better, my dear one. xxx)
Comment Written 19-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2022
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Hi there! Tragic stories seem to lurk inside me, but I think I got too subtle with this one. Everyone thinks Jackson killed his father (but the gun jammed) and his father was shot in the back (by Annie who dropped the gun in the weeds). Only Jason saw it! Oh well, what ends well is good! LOL
Hugs, Carol
Comment from lyenochka
I'm not quite sure what all happened but you did a great job of storytelling all from mostly a monologue. I guess Jason tried to take blame for his son's death but the sheriff didn't believe him. But we know that the grandson killed Leroy but no one knows the secret? I guess last minute confessions were made to Mary Anne, the angel and Jason's soul went in peace. I didn't understand the blanket being thrown inter the cistern. Wouldn't that be bad for the well water?
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2022
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I'm not quite sure what all happened but you did a great job of storytelling all from mostly a monologue. I guess Jason tried to take blame for his son's death but the sheriff didn't believe him. But we know that the grandson killed Leroy but no one knows the secret? I guess last minute confessions were made to Mary Anne, the angel and Jason's soul went in peace. I didn't understand the blanket being thrown inter the cistern. Wouldn't that be bad for the well water?
Comment Written 19-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2022
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The grandson didn't shoot his father. Annie, shot him in the back and dropped the blanket and gun in the weeds when she screamed for Jackson to come back. That's the secret! Jason knew his grandson would be blamed and so he took him out of the equation, not realizing at first Annie had did the shooting with the other gun. Guess I got a little to subtle. Thanks for the review.... They didn't use old cisterns anymore. It just hadn't been filled up. LOL
Carol
Comment from Judy Lawless
This is a powerful story of family trauma and revenge that worked out well in the end. I'm hoping Leroy understands what his father did for him and chooses a better life for himself. Well done.
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2022
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This is a powerful story of family trauma and revenge that worked out well in the end. I'm hoping Leroy understands what his father did for him and chooses a better life for himself. Well done.
Comment Written 19-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2022
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Leroy is dead, but Jason secured a better life for his grandchildren by taking the blame. Thank you for the review. I appreciate it as always.
Smiles, Carol
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You?re welcome, Carol. I was thinking of Jackson, who is a grandson. I got mixed up. Lol
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Your story reads well, Carol, though poignant. You gave readers great details, set the scene well, used dialogue well, and had believable characters. It does show family justice for one near the end of his life to take on the blame for a younger one so that the younger one can have a life.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2022
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Your story reads well, Carol, though poignant. You gave readers great details, set the scene well, used dialogue well, and had believable characters. It does show family justice for one near the end of his life to take on the blame for a younger one so that the younger one can have a life.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 18-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2022
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In Jason's mind, his lifestyle and unwillingness to change through the years brought his family to a terrible place....He wanted to change that future if he could. Thanks for the review.
Hugs, CArol
Comment from Gert sherwood
A Talk With An Angel
Family Justice
Begin Again,
I say you know how to write a story so dramatic which I like in your well written story. What I really liked is how you ended your story
When Jason was heading for the porch, his knees buckled, and he crumbled to the ground. A smile crossed his lips, and he raised his hand toward heaven, "Mary Anne, you look mighty beautiful as an angel.
" Shall we go home?"
Gert
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2022
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A Talk With An Angel
Family Justice
Begin Again,
I say you know how to write a story so dramatic which I like in your well written story. What I really liked is how you ended your story
When Jason was heading for the porch, his knees buckled, and he crumbled to the ground. A smile crossed his lips, and he raised his hand toward heaven, "Mary Anne, you look mighty beautiful as an angel.
" Shall we go home?"
Gert
Comment Written 18-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2022
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Thank you so much, Gert. I appreciate your thoughts and the review. I always need to end with a little hope and happiness even though the stories tend to be sad and dark.
Hugs, Carol
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Begin Again
You are most welcome
Gert
