Literary Warfare
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Literary Warfare - Chapter Two"Friendly competition too oft with deadly results.
6 total reviews
Comment from BLACKTITANIUM86
This is a hot write. For, as soon as the reader starts to read, it jumps out
at the reader with hype and exciting news. Nevertheless, you held the reader captivated. Stay Connected...and keep writing
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2022
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This is a hot write. For, as soon as the reader starts to read, it jumps out
at the reader with hype and exciting news. Nevertheless, you held the reader captivated. Stay Connected...and keep writing
Comment Written 20-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2022
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Thank you!
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Thank you!
Comment from Liz O'Neill
This competition has great tongue-in-cheek humor. One of my favorite kinds. I love how it takes a turn: "Oh yeah? Well my rejection.. And so the competition went. You have good use of metaphors and simile that will draw the reader in.
This reflected a sibling rivalry, ending with one rising to the top.
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2022
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This competition has great tongue-in-cheek humor. One of my favorite kinds. I love how it takes a turn: "Oh yeah? Well my rejection.. And so the competition went. You have good use of metaphors and simile that will draw the reader in.
This reflected a sibling rivalry, ending with one rising to the top.
Comment Written 19-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2022
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Thank you. You're very kind.
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***smile***
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
Chapter 2 of your novel lives up to the promise of chapter 1. Just a couple of points for improvement:
The competition aspect is a bit overplayed - cut down on repetitions and polish remaining mentions.
the dreaded red pen > I gift you one of my favourite words umbragenic
Montale/Carlton > does bringing in two authors with the same response add anything to the chapter or is it just repetitive? could one be cut to a single sentence "this was not an isolated occurrence, and Jerry got similar reactions from every author he tried to approach"
For my info. Did you really go in for one of these 'without a given letter' writes? I admire you. I have never dared try.
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2022
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Chapter 2 of your novel lives up to the promise of chapter 1. Just a couple of points for improvement:
The competition aspect is a bit overplayed - cut down on repetitions and polish remaining mentions.
the dreaded red pen > I gift you one of my favourite words umbragenic
Montale/Carlton > does bringing in two authors with the same response add anything to the chapter or is it just repetitive? could one be cut to a single sentence "this was not an isolated occurrence, and Jerry got similar reactions from every author he tried to approach"
For my info. Did you really go in for one of these 'without a given letter' writes? I admire you. I have never dared try.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2022
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Did you make up umbragenic? (I like it!)
True story, the 'e', except it wasn't 1000 words long.
Thank you for the very constructive helps.
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Sort of made it up, from umbrage (to take offense) so it means irritating/annoying/upsetting all jumbled together. But it's quite clear to readers if you use it what you're getting at.
Clever you for the lack of e's.
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Look up umbra/umbrae. That's what I thought you might have used as a root. It 'is' a very useful word! umbragenic.
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Ah, interesting.
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Thanks
I thought it might've come from the root umbra/umbrae having to do with the hot sun.
Comment from Judy Lawless
You've done a great job of conveying all the competition going on between these two, and the feelings they try to hide when Diane gets her break and Jerry doesn't. I wonder where this will go.
One suggestion: make sure you have something in the title to indicate it's another chapter because when it comes up on the listings it looks like the one I'd already reviewed. That might deter others.
Just one typo: "Chagrinned, Jerry exed out the word (the) from the title." - remove the extra the.
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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You've done a great job of conveying all the competition going on between these two, and the feelings they try to hide when Diane gets her break and Jerry doesn't. I wonder where this will go.
One suggestion: make sure you have something in the title to indicate it's another chapter because when it comes up on the listings it looks like the one I'd already reviewed. That might deter others.
Just one typo: "Chagrinned, Jerry exed out the word (the) from the title." - remove the extra the.
Comment Written 16-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Thank you. I will.
And thank you for the kind words.
Comment from Melodie Michelle
Excellent story my friend! The storyline is captivating and held my attention and the characters interact nicely together throughout the piece;-) The imagery selected is perfect for the work!
Thank you for sharing this well written piece with us and may God bless you and your family this New Year;-)
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Excellent story my friend! The storyline is captivating and held my attention and the characters interact nicely together throughout the piece;-) The imagery selected is perfect for the work!
Thank you for sharing this well written piece with us and may God bless you and your family this New Year;-)
Comment Written 16-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Thank you very much. You are too kind.
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;-)
Comment from Wendy G
Well written and believable ... and you have maintained the interest of the reader throughout. The development of the theme is skilfully done, and makes the reader want to see the resolution. Looking forward to the next.
Wendy
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Well written and believable ... and you have maintained the interest of the reader throughout. The development of the theme is skilfully done, and makes the reader want to see the resolution. Looking forward to the next.
Wendy
Comment Written 16-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2022
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Wow! Great! It's somewhat stressful to follow a piece that received accolades. Thank you.
