THE CURSE
Viewing comments for Chapter 97 "Crime Scene/Part Two"The six book of the Novels of the Breedline
4 total reviews
Comment from AJ McCall
You know, I would say I'm done with these short-cliff-hanger chapters but I HAVE TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS, SHANA!
Why would you let him get in that car with that guy??!??! And now he's gonna go to Carrie's APARTMENT!?!?!? Hopefully, Manuel and Frank (and the Breedline) get there before the Shadow makes Joseph eat them both. I'm tired of hearing the Shadow ripping out people's hearts!!
I am officially annoyed and hate its guts.
You know I'll be back next week, tunning in for another short episode of THE CURSE that'll never satisfy me. (LOL)
SIX STARSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
Also, love the pic.
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2022
  |
You know, I would say I'm done with these short-cliff-hanger chapters but I HAVE TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS, SHANA!
Why would you let him get in that car with that guy??!??! And now he's gonna go to Carrie's APARTMENT!?!?!? Hopefully, Manuel and Frank (and the Breedline) get there before the Shadow makes Joseph eat them both. I'm tired of hearing the Shadow ripping out people's hearts!!
I am officially annoyed and hate its guts.
You know I'll be back next week, tunning in for another short episode of THE CURSE that'll never satisfy me. (LOL)
SIX STARSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
Also, love the pic.
Comment Written 05-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2022
-
Thanks AJ :)
Sorry for all the suspense. Hee-hee! But I'm glad you enjoyed. Remember... fairytale ending. :)
This book has taken me the longest to write. And I've never experienced this much writer's block. UGG! Now I need to get moving on the next chapter. Say some prayers. I need all the help I can get.
Thanks for the awesome review and generous stars. I'm glad you thought it was good. One reviewer (who hasn't read any other chapters) said it was just basic. Yikes.
BTW, I found the photo on Facebook. Thought it was captivating. Glad you approved. :)
Big hugs!
Shana :)
-
You're very welcome, Shana!! And nice find on FB.
That reviewer though... needs to take a hike, lol. Now, let me go I got some praying for you to do to!! ;)
Comment from nor84
You need a little help with punctuation, especially the apostrophe and the semicolon. For example, the apostrophe (') is never used except to show possession. One exception is that it shows it is as it's because a letter is left out of the phrase.
Thus Detective's should be Detectives and EMT's should be EMTs.
Who's means who is. Whose is the possessive, i.e., whose coat is that? for example.
The semicolon links two complete, related short sentences. It does not replace the plain old comma. Example of semicolon use: The package was supposed to arrive Monday; it came two days later.
Point of View. The chapter started in the point of view (POV) of a detective. Later, we're out of the detective's head and into that of Joseph. POV can change, but not in the same chapter.
I suggest a little more study, especially on POV. Should be some things online, or there are books.
Story is good, but you need help with the basics.
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2022
  |
You need a little help with punctuation, especially the apostrophe and the semicolon. For example, the apostrophe (') is never used except to show possession. One exception is that it shows it is as it's because a letter is left out of the phrase.
Thus Detective's should be Detectives and EMT's should be EMTs.
Who's means who is. Whose is the possessive, i.e., whose coat is that? for example.
The semicolon links two complete, related short sentences. It does not replace the plain old comma. Example of semicolon use: The package was supposed to arrive Monday; it came two days later.
Point of View. The chapter started in the point of view (POV) of a detective. Later, we're out of the detective's head and into that of Joseph. POV can change, but not in the same chapter.
I suggest a little more study, especially on POV. Should be some things online, or there are books.
Story is good, but you need help with the basics.
Comment Written 05-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2022
-
Thanks! I appreciate all your help. It's always a learning process and this is why I continue to post here before my editor gets his hands on my manuscript.
Sincerely,
Shana :)
Comment from Iza Deleanu
ooopsie another onw will bite the dust, how cnvinient for Mr. Parker at company:) I hope you find a cure for him soon. Thank you sharing and good luck with your writings.
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2022
|
ooopsie another onw will bite the dust, how cnvinient for Mr. Parker at company:) I hope you find a cure for him soon. Thank you sharing and good luck with your writings.
Comment Written 04-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2022
-
Thank you, Iza :)
Yes, Joseph Parker is fighting for his life and the ones he loves. The Shadow is now in control of his body and he will stop at nothing to get what he wants.
Stay tuned... more Breedline adventures to come.
Thanks again!
Sincerely,
Shana :)
Comment from royowen
Another great episode Shana. It really does seem that he's killed Veronica, according to his memory, surely the shadow doesn't have healing powers? but he does want to be dropped at Carrie's place. I wonder what Manuel and Frank are going to handle this one Shana, and if he will spare the poor driver. Beautifully written dear Shana, happy new year, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2022
|
Another great episode Shana. It really does seem that he's killed Veronica, according to his memory, surely the shadow doesn't have healing powers? but he does want to be dropped at Carrie's place. I wonder what Manuel and Frank are going to handle this one Shana, and if he will spare the poor driver. Beautifully written dear Shana, happy new year, blessings Roy
Comment Written 04-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 04-Jan-2022
-
Thank you so much, Roy :)
This one was hard to write, but it was fun when it finally came together. I did add a few more lines after you read it. Now, both detectives know where Joseph lives. Stay tuned my friend.
Thanks again!
Always your fan,
Shana :)
-
I can?t wait, I don?t know how you?ll get Joseph out of this, but you will. You?re a genius,
