Short Stories
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Broken Home Spoke"Flash Fiction
17 total reviews
Comment from BLACKTITANIUM86
You remind of Steven King!! For, your skills of painting
vivid pictures, that give your readers a better understanding
are amazing! I couldn't even imagine being inside of anytype
of haunted house. But you did your thing. Keep Writing. And
I look forward to seeing you, when you stop by my spot, to
enjoy some of my poetry. Stay Connected
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2022
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You remind of Steven King!! For, your skills of painting
vivid pictures, that give your readers a better understanding
are amazing! I couldn't even imagine being inside of anytype
of haunted house. But you did your thing. Keep Writing. And
I look forward to seeing you, when you stop by my spot, to
enjoy some of my poetry. Stay Connected
Comment Written 08-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2022
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My man thank you so much!! I really appreciate this!
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No problem. And you can click on the following music link, if you wanna know more about who I am. And what I
do> www.reverbnation.com/titanblack222
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The last part of the we link cut off.
www.reverbnation.com/titanblack2
Comment from Janetsue
This is an exciting story written very well with a 150 word limit challenge. What an amazing picture...it helps give your descriptions life and that makes your posting even more memorable. I would have loved to explore that house...but only if it was a few decades earlier! lol
Best wishes in the contest, my friend!
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2022
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This is an exciting story written very well with a 150 word limit challenge. What an amazing picture...it helps give your descriptions life and that makes your posting even more memorable. I would have loved to explore that house...but only if it was a few decades earlier! lol
Best wishes in the contest, my friend!
Comment Written 07-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2022
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Haha thank you so much! I favor appreciate you always taking the time. Really, thank you :) if I don't nominate you it's bc I already did or I don't have left :)
Comment from Sanku
very brilliant! A child's perception of earth quake ! You have described it in such a spooky way that the reader would think this is a supernatural story.But a nice twist at the end!
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2022
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very brilliant! A child's perception of earth quake ! You have described it in such a spooky way that the reader would think this is a supernatural story.But a nice twist at the end!
Comment Written 06-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2022
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Whoa no way! Thank you so much my friend :)
Comment from Mary Vigasin
This is absolutely brilliant. At first the personification of the house speaking I thought it was a supernatural story, but then the twist was it an earthquake or the child's heartbreak of a broken home?
Well done
Best wishes
Mary
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2022
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This is absolutely brilliant. At first the personification of the house speaking I thought it was a supernatural story, but then the twist was it an earthquake or the child's heartbreak of a broken home?
Well done
Best wishes
Mary
Comment Written 05-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2022
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Thank you so much Mary that's so kind of you
Comment from Jesse James Doty
This story comes across like a supernatural story with a house that devours itself representing the son's mother who left her husband and her son alone in a spooky house.
A thriller of sorts. Keep working on this and get help from your friends such as Jay Squires. It is a good work in process. Flash fiction is tough to do and you did an excellent job.
Have a wonderful day,
Jesse
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2022
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This story comes across like a supernatural story with a house that devours itself representing the son's mother who left her husband and her son alone in a spooky house.
A thriller of sorts. Keep working on this and get help from your friends such as Jay Squires. It is a good work in process. Flash fiction is tough to do and you did an excellent job.
Have a wonderful day,
Jesse
Comment Written 05-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2022
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JESSE! THANK YOU
I respect your work a lot. Truly thank you for the compliments :)
Comment from Wendy G
Well composed - so creative! The house that is personified, but which is shattered and shatters everything. It's like you are speaking of a nightmare - and perhaps it is, with the "earthquake" representing the mother's departure. Best wishes for your excellent entry.
Wendy
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2022
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Well composed - so creative! The house that is personified, but which is shattered and shatters everything. It's like you are speaking of a nightmare - and perhaps it is, with the "earthquake" representing the mother's departure. Best wishes for your excellent entry.
Wendy
Comment Written 05-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2022
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Wendy you are just awesome. Thank you so much :)
Comment from Spitfire
The first sentence grabs the reader. Then the reference to the house being a man. Then the house bellows! Granny's picture shatters again which makes the reader accept the narrator' belief in the end. I especially liked the paragraph describing how he devoured himself! Shades of Stephen King.
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2022
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The first sentence grabs the reader. Then the reference to the house being a man. Then the house bellows! Granny's picture shatters again which makes the reader accept the narrator' belief in the end. I especially liked the paragraph describing how he devoured himself! Shades of Stephen King.
Comment Written 04-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2022
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YES!!! THANK YOU.
Wow a six. That's such a compliment. Honestly thank you. So so much. You're the best. And Stephen King is Beyond the best in the genre!
Comment from Judy Lawless
Interesting story, Gregory. You've created lots of tension with your imagery and brief but meaningful dialogues. Well done. I didn't know you were writing a book. Good luck with it.
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2022
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Interesting story, Gregory. You've created lots of tension with your imagery and brief but meaningful dialogues. Well done. I didn't know you were writing a book. Good luck with it.
Comment Written 04-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2022
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Thank you Judy! I'm glad to read it. I'm just writing a short stories book here.
My real book is Chasing Crazy about my childhood.
You. Are. Great. :)
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You're welcome, Gregory. I know you've posted some chapters from your Chasing Crazy book. I hope you'll post more. :)
Comment from Jay Squires
God, that looks like my house, except mine's only one story. That aside, WOW! This is dynamic writing, Gregory. It has a dreamlike quality, like one of those you slip out of, then back in, with things unsynced and sliding off its axis. The next to last paragraph particularly. I would omit "with desperation". Leave "malevolent air" to steep in the readers' minds. My new play: check out the characters. It's intentional.
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2022
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God, that looks like my house, except mine's only one story. That aside, WOW! This is dynamic writing, Gregory. It has a dreamlike quality, like one of those you slip out of, then back in, with things unsynced and sliding off its axis. The next to last paragraph particularly. I would omit "with desperation". Leave "malevolent air" to steep in the readers' minds. My new play: check out the characters. It's intentional.
Comment Written 04-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2022
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MAN! What. I got a six. That's GREAT! I have to go really quick but I had to let you know I saw this at least. YOU MADE MY DAY.
I will write more and get to your new chapter tonight or in the morning. Ugh work is busy.
Wait is it a new play entirely? You just Thought one up? Then began writing? Who are you? Haha no joke I am really impressed by you.
I CAN'T wait to read!!
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Yes I fixed it. Btw I hope you saw my notes. I had written that Before you even reviewed it. See? Your guidance is very welcomed :)
Comment from visionary1234
I LOVE the way you kept your flash 'surprise' until the very last few words!!! I was wondering where the hell this was going and BANG! SURPRISE! The mark of great flash fiction! Well done!!!!
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2022
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I LOVE the way you kept your flash 'surprise' until the very last few words!!! I was wondering where the hell this was going and BANG! SURPRISE! The mark of great flash fiction! Well done!!!!
Comment Written 04-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2022
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Thank you! You basically wrote half of it, with the amount you helped. Thank you again btw :)
