DARK NIGHT AND DARK DAY
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Dark Night & Day, Chapter 4"Romance of a new Alaskan
12 total reviews
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I'm guessing he might come and find her. But if he's bisexual, which she knows he is, he should stay away from her! It sounds lovely where Marj is staying, and I'm sure she will get to love it. I'm enjoying your story, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2023
  |
I'm guessing he might come and find her. But if he's bisexual, which she knows he is, he should stay away from her! It sounds lovely where Marj is staying, and I'm sure she will get to love it. I'm enjoying your story, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 01-Apr-2023
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2023
-
Glad you still felt positive when reading this chapter. Many thanks again.
Comment from Pearl Edwards
I love to read about Alaska, it is so different to where I live. They say a problem shared is a problem halved, and I think Marjorie has found a friend i Julie. Loved the end line with Eddie catching the ring. But especially loved the references to the ice sculptures. Cheers
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2023
|
I love to read about Alaska, it is so different to where I live. They say a problem shared is a problem halved, and I think Marjorie has found a friend i Julie. Loved the end line with Eddie catching the ring. But especially loved the references to the ice sculptures. Cheers
Comment Written 08-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 11-Jan-2023
-
Sweet of you to look at this story that I have neglected in months. You are encouraging me to get back into writing. Thank you.
Comment from MissMerri
Hi MissA. I'm glad I still had six stars to give this fascinating and highly creative story. As I often tell you, I think you have a gift for creating characters that are so believable and relatable, people your readers will certainly want to know more about and to follow through their adventures. This story is growing more intriguing by the page and I cannot wait to find out what is going to happen. Of course, it seems unavoidable that Marj is going to fall in love with someone, in spite of her determination not to.
I hope you don't mind a few suggestions... take 'em or leave 'em.
***artists working hatchets toward amazing creations. (I think this could be made more clear... perhaps say, "artists wielding hatches as they brought about amazing creations," or something maybe using fewer words than I did.)
***returned to the table and seated (sat down) beside each other.
*** and she began to relax (relate) in a soft voice.
Keep going! This is a page-turner. ;p MissM
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2022
 |
Hi MissA. I'm glad I still had six stars to give this fascinating and highly creative story. As I often tell you, I think you have a gift for creating characters that are so believable and relatable, people your readers will certainly want to know more about and to follow through their adventures. This story is growing more intriguing by the page and I cannot wait to find out what is going to happen. Of course, it seems unavoidable that Marj is going to fall in love with someone, in spite of her determination not to.
I hope you don't mind a few suggestions... take 'em or leave 'em.
***artists working hatchets toward amazing creations. (I think this could be made more clear... perhaps say, "artists wielding hatches as they brought about amazing creations," or something maybe using fewer words than I did.)
***returned to the table and seated (sat down) beside each other.
*** and she began to relax (relate) in a soft voice.
Keep going! This is a page-turner. ;p MissM
Comment Written 15-Jan-2022
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2022
-
I made your suggestions in my home copy. Many thanks!
On my cellphone I tried to rate your poem "Transformation" but couldn?t get through. Loved it!
Comment from royowen
I think that would have to be the ultimate in cuckoldership, being done over not by someone of the opposite gender but someone of the same gender as your fiancé, what an ultimate in shock, hurt and and an over the top experience, a fabulous post, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2021
|
I think that would have to be the ultimate in cuckoldership, being done over not by someone of the opposite gender but someone of the same gender as your fiancé, what an ultimate in shock, hurt and and an over the top experience, a fabulous post, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 30-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2021
-
Thanks for your comments and for taking time to read this chapter.
Comment from Judy Lawless
It seems I missed the first few chapters of this novel. I'll have to go back to catch up. This chapter is well written and provides enough interest for me to do that. Your characters are interesting. I look forward to following the story.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2021
|
It seems I missed the first few chapters of this novel. I'll have to go back to catch up. This chapter is well written and provides enough interest for me to do that. Your characters are interesting. I look forward to following the story.
Comment Written 30-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2021
-
I appreciate your comments. Thanks for taking time to read this.
-
You are most welcome. Happy New Year.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this addition to the story. I've missed this story and had almost forgotten about it. This is a very good write. Please don't take as long to add to it.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2021
|
Thank you for sharing this addition to the story. I've missed this story and had almost forgotten about it. This is a very good write. Please don't take as long to add to it.
Comment Written 30-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2021
-
I sure am slow to keep going on this one. I change my mind on it too many times. Thanks for encouraging me to somehow get to an ending.
Comment from Annmuma
I love the opening sentence "feasting" on cereal and coffee --It does catch the reader's attention and brought a smile to my face. Only young woman, alone in Alaska could 'feast' on cereal! Thoroughly enjoying the story and look forward to the next chapter. Happy New Year. ann
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2021
|
I love the opening sentence "feasting" on cereal and coffee --It does catch the reader's attention and brought a smile to my face. Only young woman, alone in Alaska could 'feast' on cereal! Thoroughly enjoying the story and look forward to the next chapter. Happy New Year. ann
Comment Written 30-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2021
-
I appreciate your encouragement. Best wishes for a Happy New Year to you too Ann!
Comment from Lloyd T. Okoko
The objective correlative of this chapter of your work reminisces a mutually budding friendship between Marjorie and Julie; with the former's recapitulation of the past that smacks of a broken love affair.
The work highlights Marjorie's obviously exploratory mood, which converges with an equally insatiable appetite of Julie in this respect at Fairgrounds; Julie's misconception of supposing Roger to be Marjorie's boyfriend, a blunder, which threw open her foiled love affair with Eddie Frank.
The work earns its texture through its effective use of of flashbacks and a preponderance of likeable scenery.
Excellent work. Bravo.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2021
|
The objective correlative of this chapter of your work reminisces a mutually budding friendship between Marjorie and Julie; with the former's recapitulation of the past that smacks of a broken love affair.
The work highlights Marjorie's obviously exploratory mood, which converges with an equally insatiable appetite of Julie in this respect at Fairgrounds; Julie's misconception of supposing Roger to be Marjorie's boyfriend, a blunder, which threw open her foiled love affair with Eddie Frank.
The work earns its texture through its effective use of of flashbacks and a preponderance of likeable scenery.
Excellent work. Bravo.
Comment Written 30-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2021
-
I appreciate your comments. Thank you for taking time to read this.
-
Remain Blessed.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Life is not a bed of roses, perception hints, a romance story is not full of romantic events and affairs, since man makes romances, nothing is so easy in time, when time and day-night comes or appear as dark, a romantic performer has to weight and evaluate the state and status and act decisively, so someone has to listen to affairs in details; well said, well done; keep writing. ALCREATOR LITT DEAR (D.R.)
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2021
|
Life is not a bed of roses, perception hints, a romance story is not full of romantic events and affairs, since man makes romances, nothing is so easy in time, when time and day-night comes or appear as dark, a romantic performer has to weight and evaluate the state and status and act decisively, so someone has to listen to affairs in details; well said, well done; keep writing. ALCREATOR LITT DEAR (D.R.)
Comment Written 30-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2021
-
I appreciate your comments. Thank you for taking time to read this.
Comment from Paul McFarland
A fine chapter. Interesting setting in Fairbanks, Alaska. That would be a good place to get away from it all. You have ended this chapter very nicely, leaving the reader anxious for the next one.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2021
|
A fine chapter. Interesting setting in Fairbanks, Alaska. That would be a good place to get away from it all. You have ended this chapter very nicely, leaving the reader anxious for the next one.
Comment Written 30-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2021
-
Thanks for your comments. I appreciate you taking time to read this one.
