Concertina
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Ruined Embroidery"Vietnam veteran comes to the end of his denial.
16 total reviews
Comment from Ulla
Hi there, I don't believe I've read any of the chapters prior to this, but I liked what I read and I've got a little idea was this is about. I obviously have to go back and read some of the previous chapters. What I've read so far is well written, but I do have one suggestion: You tend to repeat the names far too often. A lot of the 'Lee' could be taken out. We, as the readers, know who is talking or being refered to. I hope that makes sense. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2021
  |
Hi there, I don't believe I've read any of the chapters prior to this, but I liked what I read and I've got a little idea was this is about. I obviously have to go back and read some of the previous chapters. What I've read so far is well written, but I do have one suggestion: You tend to repeat the names far too often. A lot of the 'Lee' could be taken out. We, as the readers, know who is talking or being refered to. I hope that makes sense. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 30-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2021
-
Hi, back atcha, Ulla. Thank you so much for the review. And, yes, I will dial back the proper names. Yard.
Comment from LJbutterfly
This is an exceptional and authentic examination of a man suffering with deep emotional scars, tormented by memories he dreads but finds comfort in recalling. You've created an impossible situation for a wife who needs to be supportive, but who will probably be driven to the point of feeling her marriage, as well as her husband are hopeless. I enjoy reading this comprehensive examination of human nature.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2021
|
This is an exceptional and authentic examination of a man suffering with deep emotional scars, tormented by memories he dreads but finds comfort in recalling. You've created an impossible situation for a wife who needs to be supportive, but who will probably be driven to the point of feeling her marriage, as well as her husband are hopeless. I enjoy reading this comprehensive examination of human nature.
Comment Written 30-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2021
-
Thank you, I'm glad you enjoy the matrix, LJ. It's going to get a little more complicated. Yard
Comment from Melodie Michelle
Excellent story my friend and I love the imagery and the storyline is interesting and held my attention throughout the piece and the characters interacted perfectly together!
Thank you for sharing and may God bless you and your family this New Years ahead;-)
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2021
|
Excellent story my friend and I love the imagery and the storyline is interesting and held my attention throughout the piece and the characters interacted perfectly together!
Thank you for sharing and may God bless you and your family this New Years ahead;-)
Comment Written 30-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2021
-
Same to you to you Melodie, and thank you for the kind review. I'm glad it held your interest. There is more to come!
-
;-)
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
It seems that Lee, this troubled Vietnam vet, has got very difficult anger issues, memories that are confusing and unresolved, a drinking problem and now, marital problems, as well. He was handling the guns in a way that his wife, Dawn, found to be careless, but fortunately, nothing wrong with that.
Dawn was proud of his service record, but also doesn't understand the impact of what he experienced in combat.
I'm sorry I haven't kept up with this fascinating story, but my personal life has been topsy-turvy lately, and I haven't been on FanStory much.
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2021
 |
It seems that Lee, this troubled Vietnam vet, has got very difficult anger issues, memories that are confusing and unresolved, a drinking problem and now, marital problems, as well. He was handling the guns in a way that his wife, Dawn, found to be careless, but fortunately, nothing wrong with that.
Dawn was proud of his service record, but also doesn't understand the impact of what he experienced in combat.
I'm sorry I haven't kept up with this fascinating story, but my personal life has been topsy-turvy lately, and I haven't been on FanStory much.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2021
-
Thank you, Mary Kay, for the kind review. No need to apologize, it's just a story. It has a beginning and an end and will be on a shelf for you to read in its entirety.
What is most important is your topsy-turvy life. Christmas seems to bring out the good and the bad in larger measures than what is expected. There is abundant joy and troublesome drama at the same time. It causes an uncomfortable conundrum within our souls which requires prayer, patience, wisdom and love.
I hope I haven't overstepped my grounds here but, blessings to you and may God bring you comfort.
-
Hi, Rad (I hope I got your name right). You're very welcome, and no, you haven't overstepped, at all. I love the Lord, and without Him, I would be completely lost, with all I'm going through, along with my family. It doesn't have much to do with Christmas; the crises are ongoing and simultaneous, and yes, I would appreciate your prayers!
Thank you so much for your kind understanding! God bless you, too!
Mary Kay
-
Hi, Mary. Prayers up. Yes, I understand the family drama and the toll it takes. It is easy to forget we have been placed in that family for His glory. It is also easy to become tired when we believe the evidence of His redemption within us, is being ignored. Regardless, His glory is still evident.
My bad, I was thinking of a friend of mine, Radimaker, when I signed off.
My nom de plume is Yardier or Yard.
Sorry about the confusion.
-
Hello, Yard! Oh, it's not family drama in the normal sense, it's the troubles that both my mother, my husband and myself are going through. My mother lives alone in another state, and is suffering with age-related spinal deformities, causing severe pain and immobility. She may have to go into a nursing home, something none of us wants, even though she's in her right mind. I'm not strong enough to take care of her myself. Both my husband and I are living on Social Security Disability.
My husband has legal problems that I can't get into here. We're both dealing with problems in our apartment -- very serious problems, that I can't go into in a public forum. We're absolutely overwhelmed. Plus, our church pastor resigned on Sunday, and because we both have positions as board members, we're left with extra responsibilities. Everything is still online, because of the pandemic.
We have no other family members who are willing to help us, except a few people who send us money, from time to time (for which we are grateful).
So yes, we are blessed to be redeemed, and we have to pray for the Blood of Christ to cover us all, and His mercy and grace to be abundant in our lives! Thank you for your loving concern.
-
And thank you, ESPECIALLY, for your prayers!
Comment from Ric Myworld
I'm sure this is only one of many conversations that have taken place about the possibilities of children being left in Vietnam. I'm sure the potential numbers are astronomical. Thanks for sharing. Happy New Year!
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2021
|
I'm sure this is only one of many conversations that have taken place about the possibilities of children being left in Vietnam. I'm sure the potential numbers are astronomical. Thanks for sharing. Happy New Year!
Comment Written 29-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2021
-
Thanks again, Ricman, and Happy New Year back at ya!
Comment from Susan Newell
Yard,
First let me apologize for taking so long to review this. I spent some time away from the site. This is an exceptional chapter. Your descriptions really paint a picture for me, without "telling" me. I love it all. I am glad we are getting some insight into Dawn, and her thoughts of suicide. The bending of the palm spoke volumes. I have noted a couple other spots that were especially good. I'm glad that Lee has made some decisions. That's step one. Keep 'em coming!
Sue
She adjusted museum pamphlets in their wall boxes gently as if they were small birds in their nests, -- exceptional
She and the Okies and Arkies were out, and in a strange turn of county politics, John Steinbeck and Cesar Chavez were in. -- you have said everything, but with few words -- tremendous
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2021
|
Yard,
First let me apologize for taking so long to review this. I spent some time away from the site. This is an exceptional chapter. Your descriptions really paint a picture for me, without "telling" me. I love it all. I am glad we are getting some insight into Dawn, and her thoughts of suicide. The bending of the palm spoke volumes. I have noted a couple other spots that were especially good. I'm glad that Lee has made some decisions. That's step one. Keep 'em coming!
Sue
She adjusted museum pamphlets in their wall boxes gently as if they were small birds in their nests, -- exceptional
She and the Okies and Arkies were out, and in a strange turn of county politics, John Steinbeck and Cesar Chavez were in. -- you have said everything, but with few words -- tremendous
Comment Written 29-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2021
-
Sue, your reviews always reflect my intent. It is a refreshing encouragement, one that I do not take lightly. Thank you. Yard.
-
You are very welcome. I await the next chapter. :-) happy New Year!
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
SSSSSStupendous dialog and SSSSSStellar imagery take this over the top in the best possible way. Cheerssssss. LIZ
hyphenate well-being
skin [SUGG OMIT pale and] chalky.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2021
|
SSSSSStupendous dialog and SSSSSStellar imagery take this over the top in the best possible way. Cheerssssss. LIZ
hyphenate well-being
skin [SUGG OMIT pale and] chalky.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2021
-
Liz - your reviews always reflect my intent. It is a refreshing encouragement, one that I do not take lightly. Thank you. Yard.
Suggestions noted.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
I keep thinking you need to do a little explanation of how your chapter fits into the whole, but you make each chapter a little gem that is a story unto itself. This is very well written and the characters are true to themselves. Great job.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2021
|
I keep thinking you need to do a little explanation of how your chapter fits into the whole, but you make each chapter a little gem that is a story unto itself. This is very well written and the characters are true to themselves. Great job.
Comment Written 28-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2021
-
Thank you Carol, your reviews always reflect my intent. It is a refreshing encouragement, one that I do not take lightly. Thank you. Yard.
Comment from Judy Lawless
This is a riveting chapter, Yard. It's obvious that Lee's PTSD is becoming way out of control. He's become paranoid. It's not looking good for his relationship with his wife. She sees him only as being physically ill. Too bad she doesn't understand his emotional torture. Well done.
The only suggestion I have is a few commas needed in this sentence: "The Weedpatch Farm Workers Museum was warm, warmer than most days(,) but unsurprising (not surprising might work better) given the period-correct(,) single-pane windows of the small(,) historic building and the broiling outside temperature.
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2021
|
This is a riveting chapter, Yard. It's obvious that Lee's PTSD is becoming way out of control. He's become paranoid. It's not looking good for his relationship with his wife. She sees him only as being physically ill. Too bad she doesn't understand his emotional torture. Well done.
The only suggestion I have is a few commas needed in this sentence: "The Weedpatch Farm Workers Museum was warm, warmer than most days(,) but unsurprising (not surprising might work better) given the period-correct(,) single-pane windows of the small(,) historic building and the broiling outside temperature.
Comment Written 28-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2021
-
Thank you, Judy. Yes, Dawn has issues but they too will be resolved. Thank you for the suggestions. They did clean up the sentence.
-
You?re welcome, Yard.
Comment from Cindy Warren
That's sad. Dawn sounds awful. She's okay with him suffering in the heat all day, but she can't walk from the curb to the house. I think if I were Lee I'd be headed elsewhere too.
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2021
|
That's sad. Dawn sounds awful. She's okay with him suffering in the heat all day, but she can't walk from the curb to the house. I think if I were Lee I'd be headed elsewhere too.
Comment Written 27-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2021
-
Yes, she is mean and selfish. Lee is stubborn and in serious denial regarding trauma. However, the story ends on a ........ well, I guess you'll have to follow it to the end. I hope you do. Yard.
