A Bar of Soap
Visiting Grandmother59 total reviews
Comment from Raul1
This is some kind of true story. I think that I believe every word it said. It is interesting and real funny. Excellent work! No grammatical errors. Good luck in the contest!
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This is some kind of true story. I think that I believe every word it said. It is interesting and real funny. Excellent work! No grammatical errors. Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 07-Dec-2021
Comment from RGstar
Yep. I know all abut the soap mouthwash.
I was even threatened with that at boarding school in modern times .
Go, go grandmother.
Perhaps if we had such respect as then, this world might be in a better place.
Best wishes, and good luck with the entry.
My best.
RGstar
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2021
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Yep. I know all abut the soap mouthwash.
I was even threatened with that at boarding school in modern times .
Go, go grandmother.
Perhaps if we had such respect as then, this world might be in a better place.
Best wishes, and good luck with the entry.
My best.
RGstar
Comment Written 07-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2021
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Thank you very much! Terry.
Comment from jenintorre
Ha ha ha. This is a great story with a very funny punch line, an excellent entry for the competition. I like the posh soap picture. I wish you lots of luck. Best wishes, jen.
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2021
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Ha ha ha. This is a great story with a very funny punch line, an excellent entry for the competition. I like the posh soap picture. I wish you lots of luck. Best wishes, jen.
Comment Written 07-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2021
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Thank you very much. Terry.
Comment from nomi338
This is an excellent example of how important it is to always exert control over our emotions. Extreme shock has always been the cause of sudden outbursts that constantly get us in trouble. I hope the taste of the soap was not too unpleasant.
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2021
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This is an excellent example of how important it is to always exert control over our emotions. Extreme shock has always been the cause of sudden outbursts that constantly get us in trouble. I hope the taste of the soap was not too unpleasant.
Comment Written 07-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2021
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Thank you, actually Granny was laughing too hard to get her soap. I don't she was laughing so much at me as she was the memory of what she did to dad! Thank You again. Terry.
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You make me laugh out loud with your writing that feels so welcome and familiar.
Comment from karenina
Funny. Sounds like something my 12 year old grandson would say to be honest! I think you may want to adapt this sentence:
"In 1960, when I fourteen, I spent a week with my Grandmother Minnie."
Something's not quite right there! (And I should talk!)
I'm old enough to remember the old washing of my mouth with soap...I never had the heart to do it to my own kids.
Thanks for sharing this true story flash!
Karenina
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2021
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Funny. Sounds like something my 12 year old grandson would say to be honest! I think you may want to adapt this sentence:
"In 1960, when I fourteen, I spent a week with my Grandmother Minnie."
Something's not quite right there! (And I should talk!)
I'm old enough to remember the old washing of my mouth with soap...I never had the heart to do it to my own kids.
Thanks for sharing this true story flash!
Karenina
Comment Written 07-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2021
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Thank you for the review, the missing word in the first sentence was "was" got it changed. Terry.
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That happens to me a lot. Glad you got it corrected!
Karenina
Comment from Annmuma
I love it! Perfect for the contest and your words draw definite mental pictures individual to every reader, allowing each reader to imagine an experience of their own, while enjoying your story. The bar soap picture brings to mind bar soap of your granny's time.
If I were going to make any spag suggestion, it would be to replace the 'and' between collar and dragged with a comma. The contest allows for 98 to 102? If so, you would be okay there.
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2021
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I love it! Perfect for the contest and your words draw definite mental pictures individual to every reader, allowing each reader to imagine an experience of their own, while enjoying your story. The bar soap picture brings to mind bar soap of your granny's time.
If I were going to make any spag suggestion, it would be to replace the 'and' between collar and dragged with a comma. The contest allows for 98 to 102? If so, you would be okay there.
Comment Written 07-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2021
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Thank you so much, I have made the change. Terry.
Comment from Brett Matthew West
First line missing the word was. Could add the word in.
Simply make the next to last paragraph read "I grabbed his shirt collar, dragged him to the sink, and washed out his mouth with soap!"
100 words.
They say like father like son. So, how did your Granny's soap taste?
Know what mine would have done in the same situation.
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2021
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First line missing the word was. Could add the word in.
Simply make the next to last paragraph read "I grabbed his shirt collar, dragged him to the sink, and washed out his mouth with soap!"
100 words.
They say like father like son. So, how did your Granny's soap taste?
Know what mine would have done in the same situation.
Comment Written 07-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2021
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Thank you for the review and the suggestions. Truthfully, she was laughing so hard to do anything. Terry,
Comment from Sherry Asbury
OH, how funny!! I once had enough of my son's behavior and demanded he wash out his own mouth - what angst and forever remembered. He never did it again. But this angle of story is even better!! It is crafted well and is a great entry for the contest and I wish you good luck!
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2021
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OH, how funny!! I once had enough of my son's behavior and demanded he wash out his own mouth - what angst and forever remembered. He never did it again. But this angle of story is even better!! It is crafted well and is a great entry for the contest and I wish you good luck!
Comment Written 07-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2021
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Thank you so much, my father said it was rememberable. Terry.
Comment from Susan Newell
Terry,
This is a cute story. I know plenty of kids who got their mouths washed out. I'm glad the practice has been abandoned. I noticed a couple of writing things as shown below.
Sue
In 1960, when I fourteen, -- missing "was" (watch your word count!)
words I ever heard!" -- delete quotation marks to signal that the same speaker will continue in the next paragraph.
Not sure that I would cap "shit"
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2021
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Terry,
This is a cute story. I know plenty of kids who got their mouths washed out. I'm glad the practice has been abandoned. I noticed a couple of writing things as shown below.
Sue
In 1960, when I fourteen, -- missing "was" (watch your word count!)
words I ever heard!" -- delete quotation marks to signal that the same speaker will continue in the next paragraph.
Not sure that I would cap "shit"
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2021
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Thank you, and thanks for the suggestions. Terry.
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You are welcome.
