Leave of Absence
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Stolen Time"Troopers life spins out of control over his family
10 total reviews
Comment from Alaskastory
"Stolen Time" gives a strong background in the relationship between Luke and Suzie and it shows a steady determination by Luke to find the daughter. This chapter gives the story real progress.
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2021
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"Stolen Time" gives a strong background in the relationship between Luke and Suzie and it shows a steady determination by Luke to find the daughter. This chapter gives the story real progress.
Comment Written 09-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2021
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Thanks Marie!
Comment from BethShelby
I'm glad you are writing more on this story. My heart goes out to young people who are lured into a life they have no business following, because unless they are rescued by someone who cares there may be no hope for them.
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2021
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I'm glad you are writing more on this story. My heart goes out to young people who are lured into a life they have no business following, because unless they are rescued by someone who cares there may be no hope for them.
Comment Written 09-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2021
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Thanks Beth!
Comment from Ben Colder
I see nothing wrong with this write. Sad and portrays modern-day ethics as I see and hear on the news. Much of a change in your taste of writing stories.
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2021
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I see nothing wrong with this write. Sad and portrays modern-day ethics as I see and hear on the news. Much of a change in your taste of writing stories.
Comment Written 08-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2021
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God's grace can even bring Luke Cole back from the brink before it's too late. Love will make him do things, not ordinary.
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hello Stan.
With the points of tension Luke has been dealing with in the past, this encounter with Suzie seems that it could possibly lead do some positive good feelings rather than the constant stress. the relationship with Suzie is join because of difficult circumstances but hopefully Luke can find some measure of happiness as this moves forward. He could certainly use some authentic joy in his life.
Robert
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2021
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Hello Stan.
With the points of tension Luke has been dealing with in the past, this encounter with Suzie seems that it could possibly lead do some positive good feelings rather than the constant stress. the relationship with Suzie is join because of difficult circumstances but hopefully Luke can find some measure of happiness as this moves forward. He could certainly use some authentic joy in his life.
Robert
Comment Written 07-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2021
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Thanks Robert!
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You're welcome Stan.
Comment from lyenochka
I like the way you created this touching scene between Luke and Suzie. You got me hoping for a re-kindling of their love, since they are both alone and needing each other as well as united with a goal to find their daughter. I wonder who it is who has Chrissy's phone.
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2021
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I like the way you created this touching scene between Luke and Suzie. You got me hoping for a re-kindling of their love, since they are both alone and needing each other as well as united with a goal to find their daughter. I wonder who it is who has Chrissy's phone.
Comment Written 07-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2021
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Thanks for your genuine attraction to the story.
Comment from robyn corum
Stan,
Yikes! That was not a nice turn. I was hoping they might finally have a lead on this elusive daughter!
Some notes:
1.) "You want some coffee?" (a)sked Suzie.
2.) Luke's nose breathed in the aroma of fresh coffee.
--> the 'nose' part is assumed
3.) Suzie (l)ooked shocked
Thanks!
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Stan,
Yikes! That was not a nice turn. I was hoping they might finally have a lead on this elusive daughter!
Some notes:
1.) "You want some coffee?" (a)sked Suzie.
2.) Luke's nose breathed in the aroma of fresh coffee.
--> the 'nose' part is assumed
3.) Suzie (l)ooked shocked
Thanks!
Comment Written 07-Dec-2021
Comment from Lloyd T. Okoko
The objective correlative of this chapter of the book reminisces a childhood love affair of Luke and Suzie obviously rejuvenated.
The work highlights the sudden bumping into each other of the duo; Luke's loss of his daughter, worsened by his wife's bid to divorce him on account of being the supposed cause of her demise; his obviously resurfacing love tango with Taylor; and their bid to find Chrissy the product of their earlier love affair.
The work earns its texture through the effective use of flashbacks and empathetic anecdotes.
Excellent work. Bravo.
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2021
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The objective correlative of this chapter of the book reminisces a childhood love affair of Luke and Suzie obviously rejuvenated.
The work highlights the sudden bumping into each other of the duo; Luke's loss of his daughter, worsened by his wife's bid to divorce him on account of being the supposed cause of her demise; his obviously resurfacing love tango with Taylor; and their bid to find Chrissy the product of their earlier love affair.
The work earns its texture through the effective use of flashbacks and empathetic anecdotes.
Excellent work. Bravo.
Comment Written 07-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2021
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Thanks! I really appreciate the depth of your review.
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Remain Blessed.
Comment from amahra
Very intensed chapter. Good writing. I felt the tension. Just a little more in some places like one I've pointed out way-below:
Tears pressed against his eyes. [?] [I don't quite get this.] [tears welled up, tears filled his eyes, flowed from his eyes.
Luke breathed on her hands, then kissed them. [nice touch.]
his mind having left his body years ago. [like this line]
he grasped for it. [or "She grasped it?] "It's Chrissy! I've left voicemails and texts. More than I can count." She answered it. "Chrissy!"
[Her daughter finally answering her? If that were me and my daughter's been missing and not answering me, I'd say, "Chrissy!" But not... "It's Chrissy! I've left voicemails and texts. More than I can count." I wouldn't waste time telling him that. I'd be so glad to hear Chrissy's voice. And I wouldn't say, it's Chrissy. He'll know that when I'd yell, "Chrissy!" I believe that's a little more realistic.]
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2021
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Very intensed chapter. Good writing. I felt the tension. Just a little more in some places like one I've pointed out way-below:
Tears pressed against his eyes. [?] [I don't quite get this.] [tears welled up, tears filled his eyes, flowed from his eyes.
Luke breathed on her hands, then kissed them. [nice touch.]
his mind having left his body years ago. [like this line]
he grasped for it. [or "She grasped it?] "It's Chrissy! I've left voicemails and texts. More than I can count." She answered it. "Chrissy!"
[Her daughter finally answering her? If that were me and my daughter's been missing and not answering me, I'd say, "Chrissy!" But not... "It's Chrissy! I've left voicemails and texts. More than I can count." I wouldn't waste time telling him that. I'd be so glad to hear Chrissy's voice. And I wouldn't say, it's Chrissy. He'll know that when I'd yell, "Chrissy!" I believe that's a little more realistic.]
Comment Written 07-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2021
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Thanks! I appreciate your fixes for me to make and the golden rating.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This Mystery and Crime Fiction, a chapter in the book Leave of Absence, speaks about stolen time, Luke is all in to find a daughter he never met; well said, well done, my dear write more, fast, carefully, thanks4sharing this, omniscient God reads-wishes forgive mistakes 2 encourage u; I, DR, per His will, love reviewing. ALCREATOR... You may please check the inexpressive (incomplete or unclear sentence, only a few given) expression: 1. With his heart skipping beats, his mind a blender of thoughts. ??? 2. Haven't slept much. ??? 3. "Black with a heap of sugar." ??? 4. on her hands, ??? then kissed them. 5. as gifts. ??? Always a quote. ??? 6. This boyfriend of hers.???
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2021
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This Mystery and Crime Fiction, a chapter in the book Leave of Absence, speaks about stolen time, Luke is all in to find a daughter he never met; well said, well done, my dear write more, fast, carefully, thanks4sharing this, omniscient God reads-wishes forgive mistakes 2 encourage u; I, DR, per His will, love reviewing. ALCREATOR... You may please check the inexpressive (incomplete or unclear sentence, only a few given) expression: 1. With his heart skipping beats, his mind a blender of thoughts. ??? 2. Haven't slept much. ??? 3. "Black with a heap of sugar." ??? 4. on her hands, ??? then kissed them. 5. as gifts. ??? Always a quote. ??? 6. This boyfriend of hers.???
Comment Written 07-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2021
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Forgot to thank you for this. Appreciate you.
Comment from royowen
How very interesting that Suzie receives a call from Chrissie's cellphone, but the caller's got hold of her phone, but it seems.that Susie is going to get little joy there. But I'm sure your story has a brilliant plot, with tons of action and surprise twists, well done my friend, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2021
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How very interesting that Suzie receives a call from Chrissie's cellphone, but the caller's got hold of her phone, but it seems.that Susie is going to get little joy there. But I'm sure your story has a brilliant plot, with tons of action and surprise twists, well done my friend, blessings Roy
Comment Written 07-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2021
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Thanks sir!
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Bless you
