Comment from Jannypan (Jan)

Excellent

Haha, Bella, has them fooled for sure. I enjoyed your fun contest entry, Wils. You packed a lot of info into your 75 words. The picture is a great pairing, too.
Best wishes in the contest.
Respectfully, Jan

 Comment Written 07-Dec-2021

Comment from Kooky Clown

Excellent

Loved this as I have had bitch dogs and they are sometimes just real flirts till they are spayed which I feel is a necessity after a first litter unless there is reason to continue with having other dogs chasing them all the time.

 Comment Written 07-Dec-2021

Comment from Susan Newell

Excellent

Wils,

I enjoyed your playful story about playful canines. It all rings so true. I particularly liked "she had them on their knees." we had many of years of enjoyment watching the oddities of dog behaviors.

Sue

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2021

Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear

Excellent

This General Fiction, 75 Words Flash Fiction contest entry, speaks Bella knew of canine queen; well said, well done, my dear write more, fast, carefully, thanks4sharing this, omniscient God reads-wishes forgive mistakes 2 encourage u; I, DR, per His will, love reviewing. ALCREATOR

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2021

Comment from royowen

Excellent

Dogs are very clever creatures, and they really know how to whip up a storm, particularly with their human pet, but as for other dogs, they are a wow at it. Great entry in this contest, well done, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2021

Comment from robyn corum

Good

Wils,

I'm really, really sorry. I have read this four times so far and I just don't get it. (sorry!)

Is Cindy a human or a dog? At first, I would have thought human, but then she barks - which kinda seems to indicate dog, right? Seems pretty clear. hahaha

Okay - after reading it about three MORE times, I think I understand more. So Cindy is a dog who understands her own power over the other dogs, right? (Maybe she's in heat?)

So she steps outside to let them see her - teases them and then she runs back inside.

I think I'm on the right track with that. I do think you could edit to clear this up and make it more transparent? Also - the 'Project Runway' image only adds to the confusion.

Thanks!

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2021

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reply by the author on 06-Dec-2021

Thanks for your review Robyn. You're spot on about her being a dog that teases. Is it the pic or the story that is confusing? Suggestions would be appreciated.
Geoff

reply by robyn corum on 06-Dec-2021

I think it's a combination. The title 'Model Citizen' has us thinking of humans. The image - of Project Runway's stage - also has us thinking of humans.

The name 'Cindy' isn't a typical animal/pet name (at least not around me. --wink-- ). With all those things to START the story, it's really hard to grasp that this is about a bunch of dogs.

I would change the title of the post AND the image. Then I MIGHT even consider changing the dog's name to something more familiar for a pet?

Finally, in the first paragraph, consider adding a doggy touch - a tail wag, a floppy ear, etc. The whole idea is to paint a picture in the reader's mind. Though I like surprises, if we can't imagine what you're talking about the story will never work. Make sense?

reply by the author on 06-Dec-2021

Thank you for that. I had a clear picture in my mind what I wanted to say, sometimes not so easy to put it into words. I'll make some changes. Thanks for your help.

reply by robyn corum on 06-Dec-2021

sure!

Comment from Terry Broxson

Excellent

An intriguing entry to this contest, good luck. I am wondering, "Exactly what is this about?" From the profile picture it could be a dog show. Or it could be stripper about to the stage. Or it could be a fashion show. Or... Good Job.

 Comment Written 06-Dec-2021