Reviews from

Oh Say Can You See?

Who's Broad Stripes And Bright Stars?

5 total reviews 
Comment from tempeste
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Ciao poet !

You know have 3 votes!

Politics seems to enter in every aspect ( even the silliest) of people's lives in America.

You are one of the two and anything that you say people are ready to drag in politics and label you a Democrat or a Republican.

The world is supposed to look up to America for its values of democracy, equal rights, freedom of speech but I see little of all these things in America today.

Even where I post on a site about films snd actors politic gets dragged in.

Don't know if you followed the issue about Alec Baldwin .. a woman was shot and killed on set snd yet no one, still after 5/6 weeks, has been charged

Many comments on the the board are politically orientated .. I don't see what politics have to do with this tragedy .

It's about people that didn't do their job right and make sure the prop gun was safe and loaded with blanks.

It's a question of failed Responsibilities .. nothing to do about politics.


Not always two elements that cross mix .. some stay separate just like my oil and vinegar salad dressing

 Comment Written 05-Dec-2021


reply by the author on 06-Dec-2021
    Ciao, tempeste: Oh, YES, you can see. WOW. You can see what I see. You and I think so much alike. In America the principle thing is mammon. If you are not a, "mammoth," (Republican)...then you are an, "ass," a (Democrat).
    Mom used to call it..."Big I's...Republicans...and..."Little U's...Democrats. To make a long story short...I quote you: "Not always two elements that cross mix...some stay separate just like my oil and vinegar salad dressing." My paraphrase for that maxim is: Mixing people don't unite them." P.S...I gratefully thank you for your review, your vote, and your gold star. God bless you, my friend. Cordially: rhonnie69.
Comment from CL Huth
Average
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

While I wholeheartedly agree with the sentiment of your verse, I feel like the message gets lost in the format.

Technical points:
- You don't need the quotes.
- You don't need the ellipse, either.
- I know there's a word count, but those three words in the middle jarred me out of the verse. Can we stick those three syllables somewhere else? Like,

What do We the People get when we cross
a Democrat with a Republican?
THE DIVIDED STATES OF AMERICA

If you update, please let me know, so I can update your rating. I think there's a good message here. If you don't, no biggie. Good luck in the contest!

 Comment Written 05-Dec-2021

Comment from C. Gale Burnett
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I think this is a very clever, well expressed, humorous (political) 30-syllable poem. It is my humble opinion that it is also a true statement and reflects the times our nation is currently in. I like how you set the poem up and the particular spaces you set between lines. Last line, alone, and in all caps, was perfect.
Great entry for the contest!
Gale

 Comment Written 05-Dec-2021

Comment from Sylla
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Division in the states is a huge issue. I think you touched on it in a way that didn't make much sense..if you cross the two, would you not get a centrist? Either way, it makes you think, and is a heavy topic there.

 Comment Written 02-Dec-2021


reply by the author on 03-Dec-2021
    Hello Chyloh Bartok: I thank you for your review. You are appreciated. Yes. division of the states is a huge issue. Perhaps if I paraphrase what I said it will make better sense. By the term "cross," here...I mean to put together. To put people together does not unite people. Democrats and Republicans are like oil and water. We won't, because we don't mix. We don't because we won't unite. Nevertheless...we people are divided people...living in...THE DIVIDED STATES OF AMERICA. Yes. It makes you think. And is a heavy topic...HERE. God bless you. Cordially: rhonnie69.
Comment from giraffmang
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi there,

I'm pretty sure I've heard this expressed elsewhere but you did a good job of making this sentiment fit the required syllable account.

Mind you, I would have thought if you crossed them, it would be more likely to produce more of a blend than a separation. I guess it's open to interpretation of the word 'cross'.

good luck in the competition
GMG

 Comment Written 02-Dec-2021