Shape Shifter
Viewing comments for Chapter 22 "Shape Shifter Part Twenty-Two"A Detective John Dutton Novellette
12 total reviews
Comment from Liz O'Neill
I love the plethora of names and labels used for Adler, very few repeats and always a strong metaphor. You have the reader's attention: "A frosty chill filled the house. Adler feebly yelled from the bedroom." You took us right to the end, in awe. Well done. I'm glad I caught this one.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2022
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I love the plethora of names and labels used for Adler, very few repeats and always a strong metaphor. You have the reader's attention: "A frosty chill filled the house. Adler feebly yelled from the bedroom." You took us right to the end, in awe. Well done. I'm glad I caught this one.
Comment Written 26-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2022
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Appreciate the review.
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Congratulations for such a good work
Comment from BethShelby
This has been an amazing but grizzly journey. I can't say I'm not relieved to see this brutality end. I'm not sure why Adler killed Doris in the first place, and how he could butcher himself without screaming in agony. I'm amazed you don't horrify yourself with your own stories. Steven King has said he scares himself with his stories.
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2021
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This has been an amazing but grizzly journey. I can't say I'm not relieved to see this brutality end. I'm not sure why Adler killed Doris in the first place, and how he could butcher himself without screaming in agony. I'm amazed you don't horrify yourself with your own stories. Steven King has said he scares himself with his stories.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2021
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Glad you ennoyed this novelette. Appreciate the review.
Comment from amahra
I'm just coming to this story, but it seems I came at the end of a pretty bad guy. Your story had really wee-written scenes especially the death scene of Adler. Fine job!
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2021
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I'm just coming to this story, but it seems I came at the end of a pretty bad guy. Your story had really wee-written scenes especially the death scene of Adler. Fine job!
Comment Written 05-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2021
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Glad you enjoyed this novelette. Appreciate the review.
Comment from country ranch writer
Well that's. No less to the world everyone is once again able to try to get back to normal what ever that maybe. They spent so much time and man power trying to bring this psychic to justice.Dutton will be able to have a good nights sleep now his frustration is over with, or is it really over.
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2021
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Well that's. No less to the world everyone is once again able to try to get back to normal what ever that maybe. They spent so much time and man power trying to bring this psychic to justice.Dutton will be able to have a good nights sleep now his frustration is over with, or is it really over.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2021
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Appreciate the review. Glad you enjoyed this novelette.
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Smiles
Comment from Judy Lawless
I have to admit I'm happy to see the end of Adler, even though it was a particularly disturbing ending. You told the story and painted the scenes well, so there was no question of what was happening. Well done Brett.
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2021
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I have to admit I'm happy to see the end of Adler, even though it was a particularly disturbing ending. You told the story and painted the scenes well, so there was no question of what was happening. Well done Brett.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2021
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Glad you enjoyed this novelette. Appreciate the review.
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I did, and you're welcome.
Comment from teols2016
Powerful. I would have liked some more action mixed in with the diologue, but you have a strong scene already. I'll have to go back and read the previous parts. Well done.
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2021
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Powerful. I would have liked some more action mixed in with the diologue, but you have a strong scene already. I'll have to go back and read the previous parts. Well done.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2021
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Appreciate the review. Glad you enjoyed this novelette.
Comment from Ric Myworld
You had me afraid there for a minute that Adler was going to get away again or kill himself to evade justice. He got an easy way out, but at least, Dutton got to kill him, a semblance of revenge. I wish I had a six. I was glad to see your post. I've thought about you every day, hoping your biopsy comes back or has come back good. You're still in my prayers!
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2021
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You had me afraid there for a minute that Adler was going to get away again or kill himself to evade justice. He got an easy way out, but at least, Dutton got to kill him, a semblance of revenge. I wish I had a six. I was glad to see your post. I've thought about you every day, hoping your biopsy comes back or has come back good. You're still in my prayers!
Comment Written 03-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2021
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Getting the stitches in my head out Monday. Still have 3 tumors in left arm above where the first tumor was removed. Your care and support mean s lot to me.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
You have a good story going here but you need to use "said" and "asked" instead of most of the examples you use. The only markets still using remarked, responded, interjected, etc. is the romance market and they are changing slowly. You also don't have to name who is talking in every paragraph. When there are only two people, naming someone as they are doing something works much better. What did Dutton push past to climb the stairs? Why did he kill a dying man? Also you need to have the cop tell them they can't enter, captain's orders, or something like that. Then Dutton pushes past officer and disobeys orders.
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2021
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You have a good story going here but you need to use "said" and "asked" instead of most of the examples you use. The only markets still using remarked, responded, interjected, etc. is the romance market and they are changing slowly. You also don't have to name who is talking in every paragraph. When there are only two people, naming someone as they are doing something works much better. What did Dutton push past to climb the stairs? Why did he kill a dying man? Also you need to have the cop tell them they can't enter, captain's orders, or something like that. Then Dutton pushes past officer and disobeys orders.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2021
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Thanks for the comments.
Comment from Frank Malley
I find that engaging in a perceptive conversation after you've committed harikiri stretches credibility a great deal; nonetheless, lengthy conversations with dying people are pretty common in literature and cinema. I may have my suspension of disbelief (Coleridge) buckled on too tightly. l also have read a lot of gritty detective dialogue, and since it's been around for almost a century, I think that some different sort of talk (between two detectives, or two cops, or a cop and a journalist), raises my interest. Author Jeffrey Deaver's central characters often step outside the hard-guy, Humphrey Bogart-type conversations. Deaver uses elaborately developed characters who are educated and complex modern people whose lives and values intrigue the reader. It's a far cry from the Sam Spade style of detective and cop talk.
When you wrote, " Adler raised the knife higher," I couldn't initially tell whether he was going to kill himself or attack Dutton. It didn't seem likely that an experienced cop would stand close enough to even a dying murderer to be vulnerable to a knife attack. Plus, nobody would want to stand close to somebody whose guts are all over the bed.
A line like "unsuspecting of what he observed" is a giveaway; just let him open the door and _ Surprise! Here's a guy on a double bed with his guts all over! I would suggest to you, humbly, that you read more by contemporary masters of crime and police stories.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2021
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I find that engaging in a perceptive conversation after you've committed harikiri stretches credibility a great deal; nonetheless, lengthy conversations with dying people are pretty common in literature and cinema. I may have my suspension of disbelief (Coleridge) buckled on too tightly. l also have read a lot of gritty detective dialogue, and since it's been around for almost a century, I think that some different sort of talk (between two detectives, or two cops, or a cop and a journalist), raises my interest. Author Jeffrey Deaver's central characters often step outside the hard-guy, Humphrey Bogart-type conversations. Deaver uses elaborately developed characters who are educated and complex modern people whose lives and values intrigue the reader. It's a far cry from the Sam Spade style of detective and cop talk.
When you wrote, " Adler raised the knife higher," I couldn't initially tell whether he was going to kill himself or attack Dutton. It didn't seem likely that an experienced cop would stand close enough to even a dying murderer to be vulnerable to a knife attack. Plus, nobody would want to stand close to somebody whose guts are all over the bed.
A line like "unsuspecting of what he observed" is a giveaway; just let him open the door and _ Surprise! Here's a guy on a double bed with his guts all over! I would suggest to you, humbly, that you read more by contemporary masters of crime and police stories.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2021
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Would suggest you either learn how to read differences between a king-sized bed and a double, as an example of your obvious lack of grasping concepts. Or, perhaps you learn better by observations and should go to a furniture gallery so you can visually see those differences. Either way, your uninformed review read.
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Geeze. Marcel, the dodo became extinct around the late 1600s- oh, excuse me, that was a different communication. I don't see how furniture knowledge invalidates the objections I raised. You're more interested in being called "amazing," etc., than in becoming a better writer. BTW, " lack of grasping concepts" is much better expressed as "failure to grasp concepts." Good luck.
Comment from royowen
I've read of phobias, propensity to manifest all forms of bizarre mental conditions that cause people to behave in ways inconceivable to the "normal" mental process, but never have indulged in responding to those things, but I do understand the "feelings" that one has, but it's "uncivilised", but man always confounds us. Beautifully written Brett, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2021
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I've read of phobias, propensity to manifest all forms of bizarre mental conditions that cause people to behave in ways inconceivable to the "normal" mental process, but never have indulged in responding to those things, but I do understand the "feelings" that one has, but it's "uncivilised", but man always confounds us. Beautifully written Brett, blessings Roy
Comment Written 03-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 31-Dec-2021
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Glad you enjoyed this novelette. Appreciate the review.
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Most welcome
