Autumn's Demise
8 Word poem40 total reviews
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
We have had a very winter spell just now and Autumn seems so long ago! This is an ambient write and also very romantic, much enjoyed Melissa, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021
  |
We have had a very winter spell just now and Autumn seems so long ago! This is an ambient write and also very romantic, much enjoyed Melissa, love Dolly x
Comment Written 30-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021
-
Hello Dolly. Thank you for your lovely words. I hope you get a break from really bad weather and can just enjoy the lazy flakes that drift down.
Melissa
Comment from Jesse James Doty
Right away I notice something I would like to correct. A better second line would be while golden whispers breathe! The first line is excellent but the second line drags it down.
You may still have a chance to win the contest if they don't notice the second line too much!
Keep writing you have real potential so don't give up the ship!
Take good care of yourself, and please, don't sweat the small stuff!
Jesse
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021
 |
Right away I notice something I would like to correct. A better second line would be while golden whispers breathe! The first line is excellent but the second line drags it down.
You may still have a chance to win the contest if they don't notice the second line too much!
Keep writing you have real potential so don't give up the ship!
Take good care of yourself, and please, don't sweat the small stuff!
Jesse
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021
-
Hello there Jesse. Thank you for your note with suggestions to improve this one. Short ones are always a challenge. Much appreciated!
Melissa
Comment from Jasmine Girl
Yes. The fall is long gone by now. It were quiet yet gentle with the whispering of the leaves rustling. This poem is very beautifully written with the correct word count.
Well done and good luck.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021
|
Yes. The fall is long gone by now. It were quiet yet gentle with the whispering of the leaves rustling. This poem is very beautifully written with the correct word count.
Well done and good luck.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021
-
Hello Lisa. Thank you so much, dear Jasmine Girl, for your lovely thoughts and comments!!
Melissa
Comment from country ranch writer
Autumn slowly slinks away making way for mr winter will his chills and frills and hangs around till spring time once again melting away. Mother Nature brings life back into beautiful flowers and trees for all to enjoy.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021
|
Autumn slowly slinks away making way for mr winter will his chills and frills and hangs around till spring time once again melting away. Mother Nature brings life back into beautiful flowers and trees for all to enjoy.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021
-
Hi Barbara. Thank you for your wonderful words and review!
Melissa
-
Welcome!
-
Welcome!
Comment from Pantygynt
I like the way you have used this eight word form to create two iambic trimeters, the first with a feminine ending and the second a straight trimeter. The imagery created is is appropriately autumnal.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021
|
I like the way you have used this eight word form to create two iambic trimeters, the first with a feminine ending and the second a straight trimeter. The imagery created is is appropriately autumnal.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021
-
Hi Jim. Thank you for your review of this short one. These are always tough to do and I thought I would approach it with meter. :)
Melissa
-
Good idea!
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Nice artwork, Melissa.
-You have used your 8 words well.
-A good topic and effective imagery.
-It has a serene mood with
words like 'gently' and 'whispered.'
-Good personification of autumn, too.
-A good entry; good luck.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021
|
-Nice artwork, Melissa.
-You have used your 8 words well.
-A good topic and effective imagery.
-It has a serene mood with
words like 'gently' and 'whispered.'
-Good personification of autumn, too.
-A good entry; good luck.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021
-
Thank you so much, Pam. I appreciate your perceptive review and comments. :)
Melissa
-
You are very welcome, Melissa.
Comment from E. Denison
This is my favorite of the 8-word poems I have read so far, Sugarray. It has a warmth and calmness to it that is really beautiful. The image you selected also pairs nicely with your carefully chosen words. Thank you for sharing. Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021
|
This is my favorite of the 8-word poems I have read so far, Sugarray. It has a warmth and calmness to it that is really beautiful. The image you selected also pairs nicely with your carefully chosen words. Thank you for sharing. Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021
-
Thank you!!! I am so glad you liked it!! I appreciate your take on it.
Melissa
Comment from Sharon Czerwien
I like your work! This short poem makes a striking point. The picture goes very well with it.
Your poem captured attention and was not awkward or forced.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021
|
I like your work! This short poem makes a striking point. The picture goes very well with it.
Your poem captured attention and was not awkward or forced.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021
-
Thank you so very much, Sharon!
Melissa
Comment from Sherry Asbury
So perfect - that tree bent as we with old bones understand. Eight words were equally perfect. You did a fine job with this and the haunting artwork is so eerie and mood-inducing. A fine entry for the contest...best of luck to you!
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021
|
So perfect - that tree bent as we with old bones understand. Eight words were equally perfect. You did a fine job with this and the haunting artwork is so eerie and mood-inducing. A fine entry for the contest...best of luck to you!
Comment Written 30-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021
-
Hi Sherry. Thank you for your lovely comments on this verse and art. So appreciate you!
Melissa
-
Just breathtaking, honey!!
Comment from Seshadri_Sreenivasan
very beautifully expressed about the life starting all over again in the fall and the lessons for us to let things go, I love the accompanying picture too. Well done! Good luck!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021
|
very beautifully expressed about the life starting all over again in the fall and the lessons for us to let things go, I love the accompanying picture too. Well done! Good luck!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2021
-
Hi Seshadri. Thank you for your wonderful review and comments. Autumn is on its way out over here. :)
Melissa
