Reviews from

Blue Eyed Woman

Domestic Abuse seen from a child's perspective

19 total reviews 
Comment from palmart
Excellent
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Wow! You have chosen a really delicate subject but you have given it a totally different vision. You brought considerations "from within", which makes your writing unique. Thank you for sharing your inspiration with us.

 Comment Written 28-Nov-2021

Comment from E. Denison
Excellent
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Great work here, LaChelle King. The topic of domestic violence is one that often is pushed out of the light, and it is a topic we need to speak about every day. Works like this one really help to spread awareness and provide a voice for the voiceless. Excellent depiction from the perspective of one abused. Thank you for sharing this important work.

 Comment Written 27-Nov-2021

Comment from royowen
Excellent
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The poem seems to addressing child abuse, which is something I have little understanding of. I don't know how long I've hated those antics by folk that are supposed to nurture and love kids. Beautifully written my friend, I
Loved the language, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 27-Nov-2021

Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Good
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Your poem draws on emotions and it presents strong images. It's heartfelt and an important subject to address.

The grammar is off...

Sometimes she feels like her (red=add) heart (with red=delete) is getting smaller and smaller to (a void of=delete) nothing

Abandonment was there a lot for a blue eyed baby with sweet cheeks. But there was a (blue eyed (black =delete) monster that was black and hollow inside.

The shapes being seen in her room petrified that baby until she was 11

Sleeping with lights on because that's when the beating would start (of a blue eyed) (for her =add) mother.

She'll never be good enough for that (blue eyed=delete) man but that 11 year old took her power (add=back)

Screaming at him to protect (the blue eyed=delete) (add=her) mother and putting her (into - delete) (add-to bed) (delete-her bed).

She grew 10 feet as the ceiling shifted taller for her.

(Add- That child) forever (delete- being) stuck (delete-as that child) inside her heart. (Delete-That blue eyed woman) (add-Her mother)now hugs that sweet (add-baby cheek) (delete- inside herself.)

Trying to rock herself and hugging that precious child so she doesn't turn into a blue eyed monster.


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 Comment Written 27-Nov-2021

Comment from Sherry Asbury
Excellent
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Would give you a 6 if I had one. I am a brown-eyed baby who had a monster. You walk away and stay away!! Then you learn to love yourself!
Then you learn to forgive yourself! I was always a Jesus child and so I turned my life over Him. Know someone out here cares. Very good write.




1






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 Comment Written 27-Nov-2021

Comment from barbara.wilkey
Excellent
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Thank you for sharing this poem. It should be a must read for everybody. Yes, abuse has staggering effects on children not only for life but for generations to come. I saw it often in my 26 years of teaching elementary school.

 Comment Written 27-Nov-2021

Comment from Wendy G
Excellent
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A powerful poem about domestic violence and abuse ... and the child's viewpoint is a powerful one. She evidently tries to protect her mother, but is afraid of becoming like the abuser. I think there are many layers to this one. It is thoughtfully written from a place of experience, and thought-provoking. Well done.
Wendy

 Comment Written 27-Nov-2021

Comment from RPSaxena
Excellent
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Hello Lachelle King,
You have TRANSPARENTLY depicted the heart-breaking torture of a mother through the eyes of an innocent daughter, and her efforts not to let the baby become a blue eyed monster in future.
Nice description of persons, scenes and situations. Live presentation of Domestic Abuse!
Lucid as well as perfectly matching the theme phraseology; smooth flow with lovely imagery.



 Comment Written 26-Nov-2021

Comment from Raul1
Excellent
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I have enjoyed reading your poem. The sentences flow with clarity. It's beautifully written. Excellent work! No grammatical errors. I like how you structured this poem. Thank you for sharing!

 Comment Written 26-Nov-2021


reply by the author on 26-Nov-2021
    Thank you! I appreciate the honesty.
Comment from Spangle
Excellent
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Domestic abuse is a topic that cannot receive too much attention. Many who suffered at the hands of a horrible person continue feeling traumatized their whole lives. Sadly, some who are abused later become abusers themselves. Thank you for sharing this tragic situation in this poetic way. I hope it will reach many others.

 Comment Written 26-Nov-2021