Sky turned ashen
Haiku30 total reviews
Comment from roof35
Well, it is a bit dark but it pairs beautifully with the illustration. It is an excellent entry for your Haiku Club. It is unique but fitting and well written.
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2021
  |
Well, it is a bit dark but it pairs beautifully with the illustration. It is an excellent entry for your Haiku Club. It is unique but fitting and well written.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2021
-
Thank you very much and sorry for the grimness...I know .Right now I have a personal crisis,so it was rather grey
Comment from Mary Shifman
I suppose that whether or not one view winter as gloomy or romantic would depend upon the circumstances. If a person is cold, hungry and questioning their very survival, the perspective would be grim. If one is in a warm, cozy house with a full larder and knowledge that they have enough to sustain them throughout the season, they could perceive winter as a time of rest, rebooting, so to speak. I like you poem and it captures the artwork quite nicely.
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2021
|
I suppose that whether or not one view winter as gloomy or romantic would depend upon the circumstances. If a person is cold, hungry and questioning their very survival, the perspective would be grim. If one is in a warm, cozy house with a full larder and knowledge that they have enough to sustain them throughout the season, they could perceive winter as a time of rest, rebooting, so to speak. I like you poem and it captures the artwork quite nicely.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2021
-
Yes.winter is romantic for some for the coziness but I think some dont like it because of the severe cold.Thank you very much for stopping by.
Comment from dragonpoet
Well done haiku. It could be literal warmth from a fire Jim's a fireplace or about wildfires.
Happy Thanksgiving or Happy Holidays.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Dragonpoet
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2021
|
Well done haiku. It could be literal warmth from a fire Jim's a fireplace or about wildfires.
Happy Thanksgiving or Happy Holidays.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Dragonpoet
Comment Written 25-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2021
-
Thank you very much.
-
You are most kindly welcome, Sanku.
Joan
Comment from jwsteele
Sky turned ashen as
earth shrouded by blinding white~
gloom by the fireside
This is an interesting poem (Haiku). It proceeds delicately until the last verse where it changes character. One can only guess what the gloom is about. I think the mystery adds suspense. Nice writing.
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2021
|
Sky turned ashen as
earth shrouded by blinding white~
gloom by the fireside
This is an interesting poem (Haiku). It proceeds delicately until the last verse where it changes character. One can only guess what the gloom is about. I think the mystery adds suspense. Nice writing.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2021
-
Thank you very much. Fireside is warm and positive usually but sometimes it can.inspire loneliness
Comment from RGstar
Nicely done...two positions, then the Ah...moment. How pleasant the moment. Great imagery.The form very well executed.
Good luck in the competition.
Wishing you a giving week ahead.
My best.
RGstar
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2021
|
Nicely done...two positions, then the Ah...moment. How pleasant the moment. Great imagery.The form very well executed.
Good luck in the competition.
Wishing you a giving week ahead.
My best.
RGstar
Comment Written 25-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2021
-
Thank you very much.
Comment from Seshadri_Sreenivasan
You could have changed the picture and come out with another cheerful, happy and romantic poem. You can do it even now. That does not take away the mood and the beauty of the haiku you have penned. One feels he is living in that village suffering the winter. I loved it. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2021
 |
You could have changed the picture and come out with another cheerful, happy and romantic poem. You can do it even now. That does not take away the mood and the beauty of the haiku you have penned. One feels he is living in that village suffering the winter. I loved it. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2021
-
You.are spoiling me by your generosity.I did not want to change the picture.I wrote something like an ekphrastic haiku.My personal mood is rather grim.My mother has taken a turngor the worse.
Thank you very much.
-
OH! I am sorry to hear that. My prayers are with you. I am sure with your and your family's love surrounding her, she will get better very soon. God Bless.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I think the fireside is a happy place when the winter is ashen and the white blinding and you might consider "glow by the fireside" instead this is a cosy place to be in winter, it's just a thought, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2021
|
I think the fireside is a happy place when the winter is ashen and the white blinding and you might consider "glow by the fireside" instead this is a cosy place to be in winter, it's just a thought, love Dolly x
Comment Written 25-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 26-Nov-2021
-
Yes I understand. I took a comfortable scenario and made it gloomy. I thought it suited the picture.But as you pointed out ,inside the grey scene is a warm.hearth
Comment from country ranch writer
Don't rat the yellow snow earning to folks who walks by eating the person owe in the snow. Just thinking about sniw make me chilled to the bone I will stay inside by the fire to keep warm.
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2021
|
Don't rat the yellow snow earning to folks who walks by eating the person owe in the snow. Just thinking about sniw make me chilled to the bone I will stay inside by the fire to keep warm.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2021
-
Thank you very much
-
Smiles
-
Smiles
Comment from HarryT
The last line surprised me. I was expecting warmth or glow or something more positive. So if that was your intent, it worked on me. The picture works well with the haiku. Blinding white with an ashen sky also gave me a bit of a problem, but you are the author and should write what is in your heart.
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2021
|
The last line surprised me. I was expecting warmth or glow or something more positive. So if that was your intent, it worked on me. The picture works well with the haiku. Blinding white with an ashen sky also gave me a bit of a problem, but you are the author and should write what is in your heart.
Comment Written 25-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2021
-
True.but the picture was gloomy my personal mood too was gloomy.Thsnks for stopping by.
Comment from lyenochka
I like how you evoke emotions with the "ashen sky" (which reminds me of times when the volcanoes are erupting on the neighboring islands). The "ashen sky" is reflected again with the word "gloom" in the last line. So many things can't be accomplished when weather interrupts.
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2021
|
I like how you evoke emotions with the "ashen sky" (which reminds me of times when the volcanoes are erupting on the neighboring islands). The "ashen sky" is reflected again with the word "gloom" in the last line. So many things can't be accomplished when weather interrupts.
Comment Written 24-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2021
-
Thank you very much.
