Final Quick-draw Picnic
a poem11 total reviews
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Is this an ant close up? It looks like a monster to me. This sounds like a horror write, but it is just ants doing their thing and picnicking off the debris left behind, an unusual write Bill, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2021
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Is this an ant close up? It looks like a monster to me. This sounds like a horror write, but it is just ants doing their thing and picnicking off the debris left behind, an unusual write Bill, love Dolly x
Comment Written 25-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 25-Nov-2021
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Thank you, Dolly. The title alludes to a gunfight loser with blood gushing from a chest wound. I guess some horror can be seen in that.
Comment from moongirlwriter
And it's a gross image. . .but hey! You used all the required words and the poem is well-written and flows well, but yuk!!!! Best of luck to you in the contest.
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2021
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And it's a gross image. . .but hey! You used all the required words and the poem is well-written and flows well, but yuk!!!! Best of luck to you in the contest.
Comment Written 24-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2021
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Thank you, MGW
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:)
Comment from Patty Palmer
This is a gory entry for the contest and it made me laugh. The zoomed-in picture of the ant freaked me out! LOL I'll be seeing that image when I go to sleep tonight. (Well that shoots that. I looked at the clock and it's almost 5:00 a.m.! Holy pumpkin rolls, Batman!). That explains why I'm still up. I'm making pumpkin rolls for Thanksgiving dinner and I'm tired so my mouth is rambling on.
Good luck with the contest~
Patty
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2021
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This is a gory entry for the contest and it made me laugh. The zoomed-in picture of the ant freaked me out! LOL I'll be seeing that image when I go to sleep tonight. (Well that shoots that. I looked at the clock and it's almost 5:00 a.m.! Holy pumpkin rolls, Batman!). That explains why I'm still up. I'm making pumpkin rolls for Thanksgiving dinner and I'm tired so my mouth is rambling on.
Good luck with the contest~
Patty
Comment Written 24-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2021
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Thank you, Patty. Happy Thanksgiving.
Comment from Wendy G
Very gruesome! But also very imaginative and creative. Your short work contains all the necessary elements and smoothly incorporates them. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2021
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Very gruesome! But also very imaginative and creative. Your short work contains all the necessary elements and smoothly incorporates them. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
Comment Written 24-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2021
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Thank you, Wendy
Comment from Tina Crute
This is creepy all the way through, but I could not help myself from liking it, for its adherence to the contest rules and the surprising story here! I hope I don't dream about this tonight, lol. The cheery bright blue belies the death and feast for the ant. Shoot! I wanted to not like this! I will not forget this poem:)
Tina
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2021
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This is creepy all the way through, but I could not help myself from liking it, for its adherence to the contest rules and the surprising story here! I hope I don't dream about this tonight, lol. The cheery bright blue belies the death and feast for the ant. Shoot! I wanted to not like this! I will not forget this poem:)
Tina
Comment Written 23-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2021
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Thank you, Tina, for giving this poem a chance.
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I couldn't look away. I liked it, in the end,lol!
Tina
Comment from royowen
I must admit I'm not sure what has died, but you've woven the words very skilfully into the overall narrative, nicely written in an excellent work, very well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2021
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I must admit I'm not sure what has died, but you've woven the words very skilfully into the overall narrative, nicely written in an excellent work, very well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 23-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2021
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Thank you, Roy. The title alludes to a gunfight.
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Uh huh
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This General Poetry, Use These Words writing prompt entry, speaks simply about ants' final quick-draw picnic; well said, well done, thanks 4 sharing this and nice reviewing this legible post on white background, post more, fast, time is limited, precious, rare (good) gift, I, DR, wrote 114 books, R 123300/N21. ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2021
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This General Poetry, Use These Words writing prompt entry, speaks simply about ants' final quick-draw picnic; well said, well done, thanks 4 sharing this and nice reviewing this legible post on white background, post more, fast, time is limited, precious, rare (good) gift, I, DR, wrote 114 books, R 123300/N21. ALCREATOR
Comment Written 23-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2021
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Thanks for reviewing.
Comment from Pangalactic
One animals spilled liquids is another animals ingested energy. Such is the wheel of life. Vivid imagery in your scarlet piece here - I saw it all with ease and the ants excitement at the upcoming smorg was palpable
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
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reply by the author on 23-Nov-2021
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One animals spilled liquids is another animals ingested energy. Such is the wheel of life. Vivid imagery in your scarlet piece here - I saw it all with ease and the ants excitement at the upcoming smorg was palpable
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2021
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Thank you, Trask, for giving this a look.
Comment from VJWild
I love how you turned these words into a little horror story, my favorite! I write horror stories and never would I have thought to put these words into a horror poem/story, so clever!!! Love it! Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2021
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I love how you turned these words into a little horror story, my favorite! I write horror stories and never would I have thought to put these words into a horror poem/story, so clever!!! Love it! Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 23-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2021
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Thank you, VJ, for the great review.
Comment from LisaMay
I like watching ants; thank you for providing a happy picnic for them in your creative poem. Death often provides life to others - it might sound hard-hearted, but I like it when the little guy benefits. (Sorry, dead person.)
Your poem is so far removed from the usual trite, predictable offerings with such a list of summery words, I really hope you do well in the voting for your originality. I'll be voting for it.
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2021
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I like watching ants; thank you for providing a happy picnic for them in your creative poem. Death often provides life to others - it might sound hard-hearted, but I like it when the little guy benefits. (Sorry, dead person.)
Your poem is so far removed from the usual trite, predictable offerings with such a list of summery words, I really hope you do well in the voting for your originality. I'll be voting for it.
Comment Written 22-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2021
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Thank you, Lisa, for the thoughtful and encouraging review.
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Thanks for the reviewer nomination!
