Remembering Yesterday
Viewing comments for Chapter 142 "Something's Got to Give"A widow's journey into her relationship with her
20 total reviews
Comment from Begin Again
Though we love our children, I personally believe mine would take offense if I wrote our true stories. they envision it so differently than I do. I learned how my daughter sees our relationship(thinking the Kaitlyn deal was over, but discovering we aren't even close), I learned how my daughter sees our relationship. To say it hurt would be putting it mildly. I tried to teach respect and compassion and found her viewpoint is far different from mine. I am glad you can write about your family and remain rooted in the belief all things will turn out okay.
Carol
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2021
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Though we love our children, I personally believe mine would take offense if I wrote our true stories. they envision it so differently than I do. I learned how my daughter sees our relationship(thinking the Kaitlyn deal was over, but discovering we aren't even close), I learned how my daughter sees our relationship. To say it hurt would be putting it mildly. I tried to teach respect and compassion and found her viewpoint is far different from mine. I am glad you can write about your family and remain rooted in the belief all things will turn out okay.
Carol
Comment Written 20-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2021
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Carol, I appreciate the review but I wouldn't stay I'm overly confident that everything will turn our all right. We're dealing with different personalities, and they are forever shocking me by going in an unexpected direction. So far they are reading my story and accepting it as the way it was. If I get it wrong tet me know and I try to fix it. I think they like me better then they did back then, thank goodness. I think your daughter is too close to the Kaitlyn thing and she emotional upset and confused by it. Hopefully in time she'll come to see it more your way. When a child is upset, you can't reason with them. I don't even try.
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Thanks, Beth. As of yesterday, I am trying to distance myself from the situation. I know I won't let myself totally walk away, but I refuse to let her disrespect me and use me.
Hugs, Carol
Comment from Jesse James Doty
I'm sorry I cannot read this though I would really love to. The print size is way too tiny and for folks like me who have eye problems reading small fonts, this sadly is impossible for me to read! The subject on which you have written seems to be something I would be interested in...if I could only read it!
This is only a suggestion and not written in stone. I would take this suggestion with a grain of salt, please!
Take good care of yourself,
Jesse
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2021
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I'm sorry I cannot read this though I would really love to. The print size is way too tiny and for folks like me who have eye problems reading small fonts, this sadly is impossible for me to read! The subject on which you have written seems to be something I would be interested in...if I could only read it!
This is only a suggestion and not written in stone. I would take this suggestion with a grain of salt, please!
Take good care of yourself,
Jesse
Comment Written 19-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2021
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Jesse, Thank for the five stars, but I have the same problem you do. Here is a suggestion when you want to read something small. Press down the ctrl key and the plus mark on your computer. You can keep doing this until the story is as big as you need it to be.
Beth
Comment from Seshadri_Sreenivasan
This chapter was quite engaging. You seem to have had your plate full in your life besides dealing with your kids. These things do happen to us at some point in our lives and we may have to deal with them as they come. There is no single 'mantra' to deal with such problems. You have done your best. Leave it to God to take of you. God Bless!
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2021
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This chapter was quite engaging. You seem to have had your plate full in your life besides dealing with your kids. These things do happen to us at some point in our lives and we may have to deal with them as they come. There is no single 'mantra' to deal with such problems. You have done your best. Leave it to God to take of you. God Bless!
Comment Written 19-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2021
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Thank you for a great review. Depending on God has gotten me though many bad times. When there is no where else to turn this is where I go. What I need to learn is not to wait until it is a last resort.
Beth
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
This wasn't an easy time for your family! My mother also agonized over issues my brother and I faced, well into adulthood, but because I had become a Christian, the imperfections we were each struggling with were on different levels. You must have had a very hard time, not sharing some of those things with Evan: drunk driving, drugs, jail, supporting a friend's abortion. It was very honorable that you kept your word to Don, and very kind and loving to Evan, who didn't need his blood pressure raised any higher.
I went through a reckless time of life, in my teens, and my mother was aware of it, but I was very blessed that the Lord called me into His Kingdom in my twenties. I think I am basically a contemporary of your children. I think anyone who passed through those times, unscathed, is blessed. I hope your children all returned to the fold -- with the exception of Carol, who never left. Don sounds like he was moving in the right direction. But what a crazy mother-in-law -- to say you said Kimberly was fat!
Here are my suggestions:
At night, she ran our phone bill into the triple digits talking to Charlie for hours.
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At night, she ran our phone bill into the triple digits, talking to Charlie for hours.
... she learned what had been easy with children was a whole different story when it came to holding the ropes for a large man climbing the high concrete wall on one of the city's bridges.
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... she learned what had been easy with children, was a whole different story when it came to holding the ropes for a large man, climbing the high concrete wall on one of the city's bridges.
She tried to cause problems between Kimberly and me by telling her I said she was fat.
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She tried to cause problems between Kimberly and me, by telling her I said she was fat.
You had to get into our savings and give them $3,000.00, ...
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You had to get into our savings and give them $3,000, ...
She sang at several weddings and went to places with Karaoke.
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She sang at several weddings and went to places with karaoke.
You had been keeping busy outside ...
-->
You had been keeping busy outside, ...
Unfortunately, you got my cold, and it tuned into bronchitis.
-->
Unfortunately, you got my cold, and it turned into bronchitis.
... you often had to change clothes in the middle of the night and your blood pressure was out of sight as well.
-->
... you often had to change clothes in the middle of the night, and your blood pressure was out of sight as well.
He is 30, a rcent graduate of Life Chiropractic College,
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He is 30, a recent graduate of Life Chiropractic College,
***
It sounds like Evan had c. Diff, that horrible intestinal bug. My mother's had it twice. I don't think it was as well-known, back then. They know more about it, these days, and I think they have better ways of treating it. Mom has to be very careful about what antibiotics she takes. I'm sorry Evan went through that.
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2021
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This wasn't an easy time for your family! My mother also agonized over issues my brother and I faced, well into adulthood, but because I had become a Christian, the imperfections we were each struggling with were on different levels. You must have had a very hard time, not sharing some of those things with Evan: drunk driving, drugs, jail, supporting a friend's abortion. It was very honorable that you kept your word to Don, and very kind and loving to Evan, who didn't need his blood pressure raised any higher.
I went through a reckless time of life, in my teens, and my mother was aware of it, but I was very blessed that the Lord called me into His Kingdom in my twenties. I think I am basically a contemporary of your children. I think anyone who passed through those times, unscathed, is blessed. I hope your children all returned to the fold -- with the exception of Carol, who never left. Don sounds like he was moving in the right direction. But what a crazy mother-in-law -- to say you said Kimberly was fat!
Here are my suggestions:
At night, she ran our phone bill into the triple digits talking to Charlie for hours.
-->
At night, she ran our phone bill into the triple digits, talking to Charlie for hours.
... she learned what had been easy with children was a whole different story when it came to holding the ropes for a large man climbing the high concrete wall on one of the city's bridges.
-->
... she learned what had been easy with children, was a whole different story when it came to holding the ropes for a large man, climbing the high concrete wall on one of the city's bridges.
She tried to cause problems between Kimberly and me by telling her I said she was fat.
-->
She tried to cause problems between Kimberly and me, by telling her I said she was fat.
You had to get into our savings and give them $3,000.00, ...
-->
You had to get into our savings and give them $3,000, ...
She sang at several weddings and went to places with Karaoke.
-->
She sang at several weddings and went to places with karaoke.
You had been keeping busy outside ...
-->
You had been keeping busy outside, ...
Unfortunately, you got my cold, and it tuned into bronchitis.
-->
Unfortunately, you got my cold, and it turned into bronchitis.
... you often had to change clothes in the middle of the night and your blood pressure was out of sight as well.
-->
... you often had to change clothes in the middle of the night, and your blood pressure was out of sight as well.
He is 30, a rcent graduate of Life Chiropractic College,
-->
He is 30, a recent graduate of Life Chiropractic College,
***
It sounds like Evan had c. Diff, that horrible intestinal bug. My mother's had it twice. I don't think it was as well-known, back then. They know more about it, these days, and I think they have better ways of treating it. Mom has to be very careful about what antibiotics she takes. I'm sorry Evan went through that.
Comment Written 19-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2021
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Thank you so much for a great review and for finding my lack of commas and other thing. I've never heard of c. Diff but if it is caused by antibiotics it probably was the same. The doctor said the lining of his intestant was infected. We all survived those days, but be still struggle. Hopefully God's not through with us yet.
Beth
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You're welcome, Beth, as always. I remember a saying we had in Christian circles, I think it was in the 90s, "I'm not perfect, I'm just forgiven." Sometimes it really is a struggle, but we have to hang in there with Jesus, because He certainly isn't through with us yet! We have to encourage our family members to hang on, whatever the issues may be. But I'm sure you know that.
Yes, Evan almost certainly had c. Diff., short for "Clostridium Difficile." (I hope I spelled that right.) It can come from taking a lot of antibiotics, among other things -- it's commonly transmitted in hospitals or other institutions, and is considered very contagious. It's very distressing for the person who has the infection. Some people have even died from it. It's kind of a "super bug." It was likely first coming to the attention of the medical field, at that time.
And then it takes very specific antibiotics to kill the infection! You must have gone through such a terrible time.
May God bless you and all your family, and keep you safe.
Love, Mary Kay xoxo
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
I discovered I really hated that truth telling one of the kids would do, even though reporting on herself as well. Sometimes ignorance is bliss. I understand where you are coming from with your 5 children. My first three had their problems. The next four, after very rocky starts have done very well as have the surviving first two once they passed 30. Hope your 5 have all gotten their lives together.
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2021
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I discovered I really hated that truth telling one of the kids would do, even though reporting on herself as well. Sometimes ignorance is bliss. I understand where you are coming from with your 5 children. My first three had their problems. The next four, after very rocky starts have done very well as have the surviving first two once they passed 30. Hope your 5 have all gotten their lives together.
Comment Written 18-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2021
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Thank you so much, Carol. I really appreciate the review. Actually I only four children. My first child, Susan died at two months from a DPT injection. With seven children, you are way ahead of me. We do the best we can, but we can't expect them to not fight for their own independance. You just keep loving them and hope your can still have a good relationship with them after they finish growing up.
Beth
Comment from lyenochka
Oh my goodness! That seems like such a lot to deal with all at once! You are so patient to allow two grown-ups to live in your home like kids. I guess it was good that Don shared all that he did but you probably couldn't go back to sleep after that!
During the time Don, and I (no comma needed after "Don")
their parents may never be privy too. (to)
how to combat the (formatting issue: goes to a new line in the middle of this sentence)
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2021
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Oh my goodness! That seems like such a lot to deal with all at once! You are so patient to allow two grown-ups to live in your home like kids. I guess it was good that Don shared all that he did but you probably couldn't go back to sleep after that!
During the time Don, and I (no comma needed after "Don")
their parents may never be privy too. (to)
how to combat the (formatting issue: goes to a new line in the middle of this sentence)
Comment Written 18-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2021
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Thank you Helen, I didn't encourage him to go on that tell all but he had things he wanted to get off his chest. I thought he was only going to confess his on sins. You're right. It was hard to sleep after all that.
Beth
Comment from Ulla
Oh, Beth, I'm so glad that you're back with your story. I have really missed it. God, you really had your hands full with an all your children. No wonder your poor husband was not feeling well. But what about you, Beth? You seemed to be holding up. Ulla:))
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2021
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Oh, Beth, I'm so glad that you're back with your story. I have really missed it. God, you really had your hands full with an all your children. No wonder your poor husband was not feeling well. But what about you, Beth? You seemed to be holding up. Ulla:))
Comment Written 18-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2021
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I'm pretty laid-back. I didn't get as stressed as he did because I just yell and let off a little steam and move on. LOL..I'm like pressure cooker. I have a safety valve that does let pressure build until I blow up or get sick. Thanks so much for the reveiw.
Beth
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In, that sense, you and I are alike. LoL.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You did a great job with this chapter, Beth. Your words are well chosen. I was engaged from start to finish. Your kids really kept you and your husband hoppn'. The mother in law was a trouble maker deluxe, too. In the end, at least in this chapter, things seemed to settle a bit.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2021
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You did a great job with this chapter, Beth. Your words are well chosen. I was engaged from start to finish. Your kids really kept you and your husband hoppn'. The mother in law was a trouble maker deluxe, too. In the end, at least in this chapter, things seemed to settle a bit.
Thanks for sharing.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 18-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2021
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Thanks for reviewing this Jan. I really appreciate it and your comments.
Beth
Comment from Spitfire
You covered a lot of territory here (and left out the good part--the secrets Don told you! ) Thanks for listing your children since I missed your posts when I left FS for awhile. Interesting story about the climbing wall. I would have freaked too!
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2021
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You covered a lot of territory here (and left out the good part--the secrets Don told you! ) Thanks for listing your children since I missed your posts when I left FS for awhile. Interesting story about the climbing wall. I would have freaked too!
Comment Written 18-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2021
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Thank you so much for the review. I've covered a lot of territory since you were gone. It is good to have your back. I've aired quite a bit of my dirty laundry. LOL
Beth
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
A block-buster. Maddening, to be inundated with such disturbing revelations after having been sworn to keep it to yourself. I'd have burst! Whenever I'm put in that position I find someone co tonfide in who doesn't know the people I'm referring to. Excellent chapter.
Tentions=>TENSIONS are too high and among family members.
despite [SUGG OMIT the fact] that neither of them were contributing
During the time Don OMIT COMMA and I had spent at Mom and Dad's place, and while Connie was visiting Charlie's family, I learned some disturbing things about our children [SUGG OMIT, which I'd not known before]. I imagine most siblings share things [, which=>THAT] their parents may never be privy too.
I had assumed we had done a [plausible=>PASSABLE] job.
Carol was the only one of the four OMIT COMMA who still remained a saint. I'm finally sharing things [which=>THAT] might have raised your blood pressure earlier. Be thankful OMIT COMMA you didn't have to hear about them back then.
*****
On returning to Chattanooga, Connie was at loose ends. J.P. COMMA who had suffered through her time at camp and had been so anxious for her return, found her changed.
Don had made a mistake by giving up the construction job he had OMIT COMMA while waiting to pass the boards. Kimberly resented [SUGG OMIT the fact] that she was pregnant and was having to pull most of the financial weight OMIT COMMA while Don remodeled their house and worked odd jobs.
Christi was still dating many different men. One of them COMMA named Matt COMMA was a member of our church and a decent person.
At one point, she fell asleep on the toilet and banged her head against the wall [causing=>, WHICH CAUSED] a huge bruise.
I was working temp jobs [SUGG OMIT when called].
intestinal track=>TRACT.
Things going on in all of our lives had left us all on edge COMMA and tempers flared.
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2021
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A block-buster. Maddening, to be inundated with such disturbing revelations after having been sworn to keep it to yourself. I'd have burst! Whenever I'm put in that position I find someone co tonfide in who doesn't know the people I'm referring to. Excellent chapter.
Tentions=>TENSIONS are too high and among family members.
despite [SUGG OMIT the fact] that neither of them were contributing
During the time Don OMIT COMMA and I had spent at Mom and Dad's place, and while Connie was visiting Charlie's family, I learned some disturbing things about our children [SUGG OMIT, which I'd not known before]. I imagine most siblings share things [, which=>THAT] their parents may never be privy too.
I had assumed we had done a [plausible=>PASSABLE] job.
Carol was the only one of the four OMIT COMMA who still remained a saint. I'm finally sharing things [which=>THAT] might have raised your blood pressure earlier. Be thankful OMIT COMMA you didn't have to hear about them back then.
*****
On returning to Chattanooga, Connie was at loose ends. J.P. COMMA who had suffered through her time at camp and had been so anxious for her return, found her changed.
Don had made a mistake by giving up the construction job he had OMIT COMMA while waiting to pass the boards. Kimberly resented [SUGG OMIT the fact] that she was pregnant and was having to pull most of the financial weight OMIT COMMA while Don remodeled their house and worked odd jobs.
Christi was still dating many different men. One of them COMMA named Matt COMMA was a member of our church and a decent person.
At one point, she fell asleep on the toilet and banged her head against the wall [causing=>, WHICH CAUSED] a huge bruise.
I was working temp jobs [SUGG OMIT when called].
intestinal track=>TRACT.
Things going on in all of our lives had left us all on edge COMMA and tempers flared.
Comment Written 18-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2021
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You did an excellent job of editing this. I don't think you left a thing for Mary Kay unless she wants to reinsert come of the commas. LOL
I finally got around to writing again. It is what I get for bing-watching three entire seasons of "Manafest." I need to stay away from NetFlick.
Beth
