Tears
For the most precious of all gifts30 total reviews
Comment from LJbutterfly
Oh Noooo! I hope you're not writing these heartbreaking words from experience. I've experienced the grief described and at the time, thought I would never recover from the pain. In just a few words, you've adequately captured exactly what it feels like. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2021
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Oh Noooo! I hope you're not writing these heartbreaking words from experience. I've experienced the grief described and at the time, thought I would never recover from the pain. In just a few words, you've adequately captured exactly what it feels like. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 17-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2021
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Thank you so much for your understanding and compassionate review. I am so sorry, it has probably re-opened a lot of heartache for you. The poem was reflecting on the situation of a friend.
Thank you so much for your good wishes too. Appreciated.
Comment from Sherry Asbury
Goodness, gracious - I thought they were holding a piece of paper until I decided to comment and looked closely...how tragic and life-altering. Many women lose babies or the babies die - but we skip over the grief of men and fathers. May God hold those grieving parents close to Him!!
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2021
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Goodness, gracious - I thought they were holding a piece of paper until I decided to comment and looked closely...how tragic and life-altering. Many women lose babies or the babies die - but we skip over the grief of men and fathers. May God hold those grieving parents close to Him!!
Comment Written 17-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2021
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Thank you so much Sherry, for your kind and compassionate review. This happened to a friend, and interestingly it was the father who had the most trouble coping with his grief. Yes, men are often overlooked in such situations.
Comment from Jesse James Doty
I am so sorry, my friend. This child is your grandson, isn't it? I am grieving for you and your family who so wanted this young child to continue to grow. If this is fiction, you had me the moment I saw the photo of the casket being held by two people. What a sad, sad commentary on life during the lockdown.
You write in your author's notes that grieving a young child is intolerable. Well, I couldn't agree with you more! Please, take care with your heart and let the sunshine in!
Jesse
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2021
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I am so sorry, my friend. This child is your grandson, isn't it? I am grieving for you and your family who so wanted this young child to continue to grow. If this is fiction, you had me the moment I saw the photo of the casket being held by two people. What a sad, sad commentary on life during the lockdown.
You write in your author's notes that grieving a young child is intolerable. Well, I couldn't agree with you more! Please, take care with your heart and let the sunshine in!
Jesse
Comment Written 17-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2021
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Thank you so much for your kind and compassionate review. Thankfully, not my own grandson, but this happened to a friend. Totally devastating.
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Now I understand! this is not yours but somebody who you care about but isn't yet everyone should but is a warning that life goes on besides, and always will!
Take good care of yourself!
Jesse
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Heartrending--I hope you don't write from experience--it certainly rings true to circumstances. The devastation of the parents is made manifest. Fine work.
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2021
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Heartrending--I hope you don't write from experience--it certainly rings true to circumstances. The devastation of the parents is made manifest. Fine work.
Comment Written 17-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2021
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Thank you so much Elizabeth. A sensitive and understanding review. Thankfully not my personal story, but that of a friend.
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
' Tears ', is short, succinct and heart-breaking. This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review. Good luck with the contest. Please let me know how you get on?
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2021
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' Tears ', is short, succinct and heart-breaking. This talented poet's work was a pleasure to both read and review. Good luck with the contest. Please let me know how you get on?
Comment Written 16-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2021
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Than you so much for your very kind and thoughtful review. I appreciate your time.
You're more than welcome.
Comment from CL Huth
I think the end punctuation detracts from the tragic heartbreak your words present. The ellipse drifts and the dash interrupts, but if you really want them, maybe swap them for flow? Otherwise, I appreciated the way you were able to take such a big topic and mold it into three lines. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2021
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I think the end punctuation detracts from the tragic heartbreak your words present. The ellipse drifts and the dash interrupts, but if you really want them, maybe swap them for flow? Otherwise, I appreciated the way you were able to take such a big topic and mold it into three lines. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 16-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2021
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Thank you for your review, and also for your suggestions, and good wishes. All are appreciated.
Comment from Anne Johnston
Such a sad picture that you have chosen and the words you have used to illustrate. I think this must be one of the hardest things a parent ever faces, losing an infant.
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2021
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Such a sad picture that you have chosen and the words you have used to illustrate. I think this must be one of the hardest things a parent ever faces, losing an infant.
Comment Written 16-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2021
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Thank you very much Anne, for your lovely review and compassionate words.
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You are welcome
Comment from Carmen Ducharme
What a poem .You have given me goosebumps everywhere .What an awful thing for anyone to go through .The loss of a child so sad . wonderfully written poem
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2021
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What a poem .You have given me goosebumps everywhere .What an awful thing for anyone to go through .The loss of a child so sad . wonderfully written poem
Comment Written 16-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2021
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Thank you so very much for your wonderful words and the honour of an exceptional rating. Both are greatly appreciated.
Comment from Brendajay
Good use of rhyme within the poem. Touched me with its message. Indeed a sad experience expressed well. You were able to express a tragedy where a life was cut short and unfilled.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2021
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Good use of rhyme within the poem. Touched me with its message. Indeed a sad experience expressed well. You were able to express a tragedy where a life was cut short and unfilled.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2021
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Thank you for reviewing ... but as you gave just three stars, I am wondering if you have suggestions for improvement?
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I would try not putting "tiny coffin" and let the reader see it in their mind. I think sometimes saying can get in the way of feeling. right? Nice poem though and I am a bit heavy handed with my reviews. I think it deserves a four star actually.
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Thanks for your suggestion.
Comment from Jumbo J
Hi,
could not think of anything worse than the emotion you have invoked within these fourteen powerful words.
You have presented this in a way that whilst it smacks one in the face... it enhances every emotional intent available to the human condition.
All the very best in this contest... very well done, as devastatingly sad as it is.
With our thoughts we create...
intolerable grief.
Kind regards,
James.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2021
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Hi,
could not think of anything worse than the emotion you have invoked within these fourteen powerful words.
You have presented this in a way that whilst it smacks one in the face... it enhances every emotional intent available to the human condition.
All the very best in this contest... very well done, as devastatingly sad as it is.
With our thoughts we create...
intolerable grief.
Kind regards,
James.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2021
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Thank you for your wonderful review, and also your good wishes. Much appreciated. Love what you added at the end ... may I please put it in the Author's Notes and credit it to you?
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My pleasure... and yes, by all means.
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Thank you so much, James.
Appreciated.
