THE CURSE
Viewing comments for Chapter 89 "Vampire Venom "The six book of the Novels of the Breedline
6 total reviews
Comment from AJ McCall
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Shana, I HATE IT when you do THIS! A cliffhanger-- the worst of anything that could happen at the end of your posts. (LOL.) Although I'm as you know, HATING the fact that you left me on the edge of a bridge in this chapter, I LOVE the part where Manuel prayed. He PRAYED! That is the faith of a true Christian right there. He also needs to pray for a tighter mouth when it comes to those curses, lol. I love this particular chapter because you included almost all of what happened in, like the last five or six or seven or eight chapters without being BORING. Just know I'm taking notes on this. Gotta use this technique too. Anyway, I love chatting without and reviewing your AWESOME stories about giant, handsome werewolves, lol. I guess I'll see you next MONDAY! Can't wait to see what happens, and I'm still praying for Frank! (lol)
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2021
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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Shana, I HATE IT when you do THIS! A cliffhanger-- the worst of anything that could happen at the end of your posts. (LOL.) Although I'm as you know, HATING the fact that you left me on the edge of a bridge in this chapter, I LOVE the part where Manuel prayed. He PRAYED! That is the faith of a true Christian right there. He also needs to pray for a tighter mouth when it comes to those curses, lol. I love this particular chapter because you included almost all of what happened in, like the last five or six or seven or eight chapters without being BORING. Just know I'm taking notes on this. Gotta use this technique too. Anyway, I love chatting without and reviewing your AWESOME stories about giant, handsome werewolves, lol. I guess I'll see you next MONDAY! Can't wait to see what happens, and I'm still praying for Frank! (lol)
Comment Written 08-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2021
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Thanks so much, AJ :)
You know there are lots of cliffhangers here. Gotta keep you coming back. LOL! I wanted to let the reader see Manuel's thoughts on everything that has happened, plus it kind of pulls things together so I can move on with the story. My characters, although a bit naughty and mouthy, have a strong faith in God. I think it's important to have faith in books no matter what the genre is. I've been called out on this, readers saying I shouldn't do that, but this is my story and I will write what I want. :)
Glad you enjoyed this one. I know there wasn't much action going on, but this was an important piece to what is coming.
Thanks for your continuing support. I enjoy your feedback. Now I have to write the next chapter. Hopefully I can get it done this week without writers block.
Hugs,
Shana
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YES! YES! I totally agree!! You're very welcome!! And I forgot to mention, what is MIA? lol.
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MIA stands for missing in action. :)
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Ohhhh... thanks!
Comment from NABattaglia
Hello friend! This is great work, as always! I like the descriptions and lore behind biters and true blood, setting the lineage. You have a lot of great ideas here which mirror the creativeness in Mongrels by Stephen Graham Jones, in the way he revolutionized werewolves but humanizing them--to a point. Thanks for sharing and your hard work! Take a look at my latest piece, Horror House on Repeat, which one first place and let me know what you think! I hope you are well--thank you!
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2021
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Hello friend! This is great work, as always! I like the descriptions and lore behind biters and true blood, setting the lineage. You have a lot of great ideas here which mirror the creativeness in Mongrels by Stephen Graham Jones, in the way he revolutionized werewolves but humanizing them--to a point. Thanks for sharing and your hard work! Take a look at my latest piece, Horror House on Repeat, which one first place and let me know what you think! I hope you are well--thank you!
Comment Written 08-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2021
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Thanks NABattaglia :)
I appreciate your generous stars and awesome feedback. I truly enjoy writing my Breedline adventures. It gives me something to look forward to.
I will definitely checkout your story here. Looking forward to it!
Thanks again!
Sincerely,
Shana :)
Comment from royowen
You've shifted amazingly to telling your great story in the fist person, this time in the mind of Manuel Sanchez, going into his thinking on what's happened to his partner Frank, and how the next few hours were important to his recovery. Then of course, drifted to this possible menace of a young man called Joseph, beautifully written Shana, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2021
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You've shifted amazingly to telling your great story in the fist person, this time in the mind of Manuel Sanchez, going into his thinking on what's happened to his partner Frank, and how the next few hours were important to his recovery. Then of course, drifted to this possible menace of a young man called Joseph, beautifully written Shana, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 08-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2021
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Thank you, dear friend :)
This one took me a whole week to write. Yikes! I really wanted to let the reader into Manuel's head and his thoughts on everything that has happened. I'm getting there. :)
I appreciate your kind words and encouragement.
Always your fan,
Shana :)
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My pleasure dear girl.
Comment from Zhen Xuan Liu
This is a great supernatural fiction you wrote. I don't see a ton of supernatural stories on fanstory, so it was quite nice to see a well-written piece like this. Great imagery! Keep up the good work.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2021
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This is a great supernatural fiction you wrote. I don't see a ton of supernatural stories on fanstory, so it was quite nice to see a well-written piece like this. Great imagery! Keep up the good work.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2021
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Thanks so much, Zhen :)
Glad you enjoyed the chapter. I have fun creating new adventures for my Breedline characters. Hope to hear from you again.
Thanks again!
Sincerely,
Shana :)
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
Your breedline stories are always stunning. Always have me hooked. I write mostly poetry as you know but also dabble in prose. I am completely sick of having little 'nits' picked out of my work. After all one writer's meat is another's poison, am I right? So bear in mind I LOVE the story. But these are some things I noted for POSSIBLE change, based on the feedback I normally get doing prose...
When he looked into Joseph's eyes--or whatever the hell he(it) was--it was like peering into the depths of hell.
The kid had hell(repeated word so maybe 'Pure evil/The Devil' in his eyes.
They were (like) 'just' might be better as saying like is not as strong. two, dark soulless pits.
He said it was as though an evil entity had taken over the boy's body. (And) Remove the AND as it is permissible to begin a sentence with a preposition, but some people are picky when you do so.
Your writing is so brilliant I really feel like this is me nit-picking. I don't think I shall do it again because your work rocks with or without any changes. I find writing prose harder on this site due to the very rigid grammar and punctuation rules/ All in all this is pretty much perfect and amazing as always. Love and hugs Meia x
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2021
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Your breedline stories are always stunning. Always have me hooked. I write mostly poetry as you know but also dabble in prose. I am completely sick of having little 'nits' picked out of my work. After all one writer's meat is another's poison, am I right? So bear in mind I LOVE the story. But these are some things I noted for POSSIBLE change, based on the feedback I normally get doing prose...
When he looked into Joseph's eyes--or whatever the hell he(it) was--it was like peering into the depths of hell.
The kid had hell(repeated word so maybe 'Pure evil/The Devil' in his eyes.
They were (like) 'just' might be better as saying like is not as strong. two, dark soulless pits.
He said it was as though an evil entity had taken over the boy's body. (And) Remove the AND as it is permissible to begin a sentence with a preposition, but some people are picky when you do so.
Your writing is so brilliant I really feel like this is me nit-picking. I don't think I shall do it again because your work rocks with or without any changes. I find writing prose harder on this site due to the very rigid grammar and punctuation rules/ All in all this is pretty much perfect and amazing as always. Love and hugs Meia x
Comment Written 08-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2021
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Thanks so much, Meia :)
I really appreciate your awesome feedback and advise. You are not being picky. This is one of the reasons I share here. I get so much helpful feedback. I'm always learning how to make the story better. I agree with everything you pointed out. You are very helpful.
Thanks again!
Sincerely,
Shana :)
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Your writing is amazing, so I hoped you wouldn't mind. I always love reading your fabulous work you just have an amazing talent so it's not even criticism you rock :) Love Meia xx
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I do appreciate your help. Thanks again! Every bit of advise is like a treasure and a learning process to me.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This Supernatural Science Fiction, Chapter 87 in the book The Curse, a Novel of the Breedline Series, speaks solidly about vampire venom; well said, well done (******); thanks for sharing, happy reviewing this; God Bless You, my good writer, post more, fast for precious time, dear, wrote 114 books, ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2021
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This Supernatural Science Fiction, Chapter 87 in the book The Curse, a Novel of the Breedline Series, speaks solidly about vampire venom; well said, well done (******); thanks for sharing, happy reviewing this; God Bless You, my good writer, post more, fast for precious time, dear, wrote 114 books, ALCREATOR
Comment Written 08-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2021
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Thanks so much, Alcreator :)
You are so gracious and I do appreciate your reviews. Your feedback always keeps me encouraged. I will keep writing.
Thanks again!
Sincerely,
Shana :)
