The Chronicals Of Bethica: The Rise
Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "The Chronicles Of Bethica"Abram must defeat a deadly humanoid race of beings
23 total reviews
Comment from justafan
The God's are conniving it seems. Poor Gangus, he's worked so tirelessly and now learns it is just the beginning. No rest for the weary it seems.
This is truly a remarkable story. I love it.
Always
Justafan of yours
Missy
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2021
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The God's are conniving it seems. Poor Gangus, he's worked so tirelessly and now learns it is just the beginning. No rest for the weary it seems.
This is truly a remarkable story. I love it.
Always
Justafan of yours
Missy
Comment Written 15-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 15-Dec-2021
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Thank you, sweetie. I'm so glad you're enjoying it.
Comment from Lloyd T. Okoko
The objective correlative of the work reminisces an exposition of Raziel's plans as the god of all gods to save Bethica from getting destroyed by the Nordoxz.
The work highlights a dream exposition of the ploy and how Gangus could be empowered through the co-operative relations of Dahlia and Abram to do the needful.
The work earns its texture through its exotic use of props, costumes, magic and magnificent array of potentials exhibited by Raziel's pet birds, Dahlia's dolls, Nelchael's threats and a huge flashback exploits.
Excellent work. Bravo.
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2021
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The objective correlative of the work reminisces an exposition of Raziel's plans as the god of all gods to save Bethica from getting destroyed by the Nordoxz.
The work highlights a dream exposition of the ploy and how Gangus could be empowered through the co-operative relations of Dahlia and Abram to do the needful.
The work earns its texture through its exotic use of props, costumes, magic and magnificent array of potentials exhibited by Raziel's pet birds, Dahlia's dolls, Nelchael's threats and a huge flashback exploits.
Excellent work. Bravo.
Comment Written 11-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2021
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Thank you so much for your review.
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Cool and quiet Amahra! Remain Blessed.
Comment from Frank Malley
This book is enormously adorned with "magnificent" descriptions, and lengthy dialogues organized within a ponderous social status system. I have to admit that Tolkien took forever to get to an outcome, and it may be that I'm not justified in becoming bored by truckloads of writing. If one looks at a Harry Potter book, he or she is moved very rapidly from one scene to the next, and these scenes occur to stimulate plot movements. This establishes a pace that makes the books an absorbing experience. Rowling and Tolkien both have their places, but fantasy writers today seem to believe that there is no such thing as too much belabored conversation amid a sea of bloated, would-be awe-inspiring descriptions. More sparkle is needed, and less trudge. Perhaps more comparative reading of the greats, as well.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2021
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This book is enormously adorned with "magnificent" descriptions, and lengthy dialogues organized within a ponderous social status system. I have to admit that Tolkien took forever to get to an outcome, and it may be that I'm not justified in becoming bored by truckloads of writing. If one looks at a Harry Potter book, he or she is moved very rapidly from one scene to the next, and these scenes occur to stimulate plot movements. This establishes a pace that makes the books an absorbing experience. Rowling and Tolkien both have their places, but fantasy writers today seem to believe that there is no such thing as too much belabored conversation amid a sea of bloated, would-be awe-inspiring descriptions. More sparkle is needed, and less trudge. Perhaps more comparative reading of the greats, as well.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2021
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Thank you for your review.
Comment from C. Gale Burnett
Amahra, this is my first read of your book; I usually do not read fantasy.
I am in awe; your storytelling skill is off the charts. As I was reading through, for some reason I kept thinking back to the Bible. Because of this, I stayed glued to your story.
I jumped back and forth between your listing of characters and the story itself; I wanted to know your characters, who they were, what they represented and their purposes.
The dialogue is extraordinary, as well as the strong imagery you created.
Fact is, I must read more.
Great job! I really love this.
Gale
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2021
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Amahra, this is my first read of your book; I usually do not read fantasy.
I am in awe; your storytelling skill is off the charts. As I was reading through, for some reason I kept thinking back to the Bible. Because of this, I stayed glued to your story.
I jumped back and forth between your listing of characters and the story itself; I wanted to know your characters, who they were, what they represented and their purposes.
The dialogue is extraordinary, as well as the strong imagery you created.
Fact is, I must read more.
Great job! I really love this.
Gale
Comment Written 11-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2021
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Thank you so much, Gale. The fact that you continue to read even though this wasn't your genre flatters me to no end. I appreciate you so much. And glad you enjoyed the chapter.
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You are so welcome! Reading more will be a wonderful diversion from my real life :) You are, indeed, an awesome writer.
Gale
Comment from Soledadpaz
That is funny when Dahlia inadvertently calls her own priestesses dolls. Not clear why they won't accept her women as the warriors they are.
Even though they are gods they act like humans, can't get along and appear to be jealous of each other. Interesting to see if they manage to act as one to achieve a common purpose.
Gangus has a tough quest ahead, to say the least.
Sol
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2021
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That is funny when Dahlia inadvertently calls her own priestesses dolls. Not clear why they won't accept her women as the warriors they are.
Even though they are gods they act like humans, can't get along and appear to be jealous of each other. Interesting to see if they manage to act as one to achieve a common purpose.
Gangus has a tough quest ahead, to say the least.
Sol
Comment Written 11-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2021
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Thank you so much for this fine review. As far as the women warriors, stay tune. :))
Comment from Giftedone.Eric Wallace .
Very interesting read very good job written very good to me perfectly done thanks again for sharing this intriguing and beautiful read stay inspired to stay creative
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2021
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Very interesting read very good job written very good to me perfectly done thanks again for sharing this intriguing and beautiful read stay inspired to stay creative
Comment Written 10-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2021
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Thank you for your review.
Comment from Annette R.
Well that was an interesting read. Much like the Geek Gods with different names. Or perhaps more current like the Marvel characters. The only thing I found challenging was remembering the names. With a following keeping up with the story line I think it's sustainable.
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2021
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Well that was an interesting read. Much like the Geek Gods with different names. Or perhaps more current like the Marvel characters. The only thing I found challenging was remembering the names. With a following keeping up with the story line I think it's sustainable.
Comment Written 10-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2021
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Thank you very much for your review. I knew the names would be challenging which was the purpose of my putting their pronunciations at the bottom of the page.
Comment from Firefly54
I'm afraid I hate the genre,
but even so I enjoyed reading this and was quickly drawn in by your descriptive writing and the banter between Gods. I will certainly be looking for chapter 1 shortly. Thanks for giving us those notes at the end and in particular the pronounciation of names
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2021
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I'm afraid I hate the genre,
but even so I enjoyed reading this and was quickly drawn in by your descriptive writing and the banter between Gods. I will certainly be looking for chapter 1 shortly. Thanks for giving us those notes at the end and in particular the pronounciation of names
Comment Written 10-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2021
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Thank you so much for your review. I really appreciate you stopping by.
Comment from moongirlwriter
Oh my, what a fun read. . .you are so descriptive. It's not only enchanting but also sucks the reader into the story. When I first began I thought, oMGsh, I'm not even going to be able to understand what is going on but by the end. . .I was totally engrossed with what was going to happen next. Nice job.
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2021
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Oh my, what a fun read. . .you are so descriptive. It's not only enchanting but also sucks the reader into the story. When I first began I thought, oMGsh, I'm not even going to be able to understand what is going on but by the end. . .I was totally engrossed with what was going to happen next. Nice job.
Comment Written 10-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2021
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Thank you so much for your review and for complimenting my writing. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter. I hope you continue.
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you're welcome :)
Comment from tfawcus
An intriguing story. It certainly seems these gods are a tricky lot! I enjoyed the back and forth of the conversation between Gangus and Raziel. However, not having followed the story from the beginning, I was confused at first by the switching of names between Gangus and Lord Abrams, but I soon got used to it.
One or two minor things you might want to consider:
"Well, Raziel, Lord Abram, and his tribe finally made it. It seems you made a good choice this time." [Close repetition of made]
I was just (in the midst of) elevating six new priestesses
I think I'll send a lightning bolt (in the midst of) (among?) those little toy soldiers
bringing them across dangerous paths under a false pretense. [in British Enlish, the idiom is false pretenses. I'm not sure about American English]
All good wishes for the continued success of your story. I enjoyed this chapter. Well written and well edited.
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2021
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An intriguing story. It certainly seems these gods are a tricky lot! I enjoyed the back and forth of the conversation between Gangus and Raziel. However, not having followed the story from the beginning, I was confused at first by the switching of names between Gangus and Lord Abrams, but I soon got used to it.
One or two minor things you might want to consider:
"Well, Raziel, Lord Abram, and his tribe finally made it. It seems you made a good choice this time." [Close repetition of made]
I was just (in the midst of) elevating six new priestesses
I think I'll send a lightning bolt (in the midst of) (among?) those little toy soldiers
bringing them across dangerous paths under a false pretense. [in British Enlish, the idiom is false pretenses. I'm not sure about American English]
All good wishes for the continued success of your story. I enjoyed this chapter. Well written and well edited.
Comment Written 10-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2021
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Thank you so much for your review and dialogue suggestions. I'll take a look at pretenses again. So glad you enjoyed the chapter.
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Yes, it is pretenses. Thank you.
