Those summer roses
Modern haiku25 total reviews
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Those summer roses
by Sanku
Hello, Sanku,
Excellent modern haiku for the haiku club challenge. The syllable count is high. Haiku are succinct and even though modern haiku has fewer rules, they still have to be as short as possible. Also, haiku never rhyme, classic or modern.
I suggest the following changes
dainty summer roses 6
entice the heart 4
tempt hands to gather them6--
sharp thorns 2 (total 18 syllables)
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2021
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Those summer roses
by Sanku
Hello, Sanku,
Excellent modern haiku for the haiku club challenge. The syllable count is high. Haiku are succinct and even though modern haiku has fewer rules, they still have to be as short as possible. Also, haiku never rhyme, classic or modern.
I suggest the following changes
dainty summer roses 6
entice the heart 4
tempt hands to gather them6--
sharp thorns 2 (total 18 syllables)
Comment Written 25-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2021
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Thank you very much .I will change the lines as per your suggestion
Comment from karenina
Lovely. The nature theme of traditional haiku is present and the "freeing" of the rigid 5-7-5 "rules" of yesteryear enhances the imagery and metaphorical undertone herein. I have not a clue what the "rules" are for modern haiku... I only know I loved this write.
Karenina
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2021
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Lovely. The nature theme of traditional haiku is present and the "freeing" of the rigid 5-7-5 "rules" of yesteryear enhances the imagery and metaphorical undertone herein. I have not a clue what the "rules" are for modern haiku... I only know I loved this write.
Karenina
Comment Written 25-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2021
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The rules said 4 lines and minimum of syllables..
Thank you very much for stopping by.
Comment from roof35
This is an excellent entry for the club Modern Haiku Event. Your illustration is perfect and sets the stage for your words. It is very nicely done and flows beautifully.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2021
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This is an excellent entry for the club Modern Haiku Event. Your illustration is perfect and sets the stage for your words. It is very nicely done and flows beautifully.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2021
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Thank you very much for your encouraging words.
Comment from country ranch writer
Beauty catches ones eye as the roses are all beautiful in bloom. Must be careful though when cutting the for another due to their sharp throne . As they are gathered fir your loved one you adore.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2021
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Beauty catches ones eye as the roses are all beautiful in bloom. Must be careful though when cutting the for another due to their sharp throne . As they are gathered fir your loved one you adore.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2021
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Thank you very much for your lovely stars..I am.sorry for replying late.was not keeping well but your stars made me very happy.
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Hope things are going well for you and hope things are better.Have a good Halloween to you .💀🎃👺💀👻☠️👽
Comment from Janice Canerdy
Your creative, skillfully-written poem conveys a wise message about the "sharp" side of things--or people?--that appear so lovely and harmless.
(Note: "Tempts" should be "tempt" to agree with the plural word "roses.")
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2021
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Your creative, skillfully-written poem conveys a wise message about the "sharp" side of things--or people?--that appear so lovely and harmless.
(Note: "Tempts" should be "tempt" to agree with the plural word "roses.")
Comment Written 25-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2021
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Thank you very much for your lovely encouraging words..
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Yes, summer roses are beautiful and they do entice us to pick them. I can't count the times thorns have stuck me. LOL I'll never learn. Thank you for sharing this club entry with us.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2021
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Yes, summer roses are beautiful and they do entice us to pick them. I can't count the times thorns have stuck me. LOL I'll never learn. Thank you for sharing this club entry with us.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2021
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Thank you very much for your king words.
Comment from Sherry Asbury
It is so sad when summer roses leave us. Modern Haiku is wonderful, I am enjoying writing it. You have a beautiful example here and it touches the heart!
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2021
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It is so sad when summer roses leave us. Modern Haiku is wonderful, I am enjoying writing it. You have a beautiful example here and it touches the heart!
Comment Written 25-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2021
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Thanks a lot for dropping by.
Comment from Mary Shifman
Yes, they are sharp. This is a very nice poem about my favorite flower. I remember when the roses were so fragrant you could smell them as soon as you stepped into the yard. Now days, not so much. They seemed to have sacrificed scent for size and beauty. Oh well, lovely poem and lovely picture.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2021
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Yes, they are sharp. This is a very nice poem about my favorite flower. I remember when the roses were so fragrant you could smell them as soon as you stepped into the yard. Now days, not so much. They seemed to have sacrificed scent for size and beauty. Oh well, lovely poem and lovely picture.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2021
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Thank you very much for your encouraging comments
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You are welcome.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Very nice artwork and
presentation, Sanku.
-I like the two parts
you create about the flowers:
their "daintiness" for the heart
and the temptation to gather them
resulting in thorns.
-I also like how there are
layers of meaning based on
those images.
-Well done.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2021
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-Very nice artwork and
presentation, Sanku.
-I like the two parts
you create about the flowers:
their "daintiness" for the heart
and the temptation to gather them
resulting in thorns.
-I also like how there are
layers of meaning based on
those images.
-Well done.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2021
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Thank you very much for your understanding and your encouraging words.
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You are very welcome.
Comment from Aussie
Lovely painting to compliment your short but sweet modern haiku. So many types of roses, the perfume is exquisite and yes, we are drawn to them, to pick for our home or give a bunch to a loved one. K xx
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2021
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Lovely painting to compliment your short but sweet modern haiku. So many types of roses, the perfume is exquisite and yes, we are drawn to them, to pick for our home or give a bunch to a loved one. K xx
Comment Written 25-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2021
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Thank you very much for these glittering stars .I am sorry for replying late .this is is the festival time here and crackers are being burst .this flares up my asthma.your stars have cheered me up.
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Put those stars on your Christmas Tree!
Asthma is a terrible thing to live with. I have diabetes, not much fun. K xx
