Wheels Of Life
A personal lamentation- sonnet54 total reviews
Comment from roof35
This is beautifully written and you say a lot in this short poem. It flows along gently just like the life you describe. You are an inspiration to all who reads your work.
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This is beautifully written and you say a lot in this short poem. It flows along gently just like the life you describe. You are an inspiration to all who reads your work.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2021
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Hello Jaybird, you have written a great poem with added aabb rhyme maintained throughout and the contend is sound. You write what a great many think when they reach a certain age, and even before. I particularly like your first stanza -
The wheels of my life keep daily spinning,
as I hang on for another inning.
My body is bent, my eye sight long gone,
I hope that fate will let me carry on.
I'm sure fate will let you carry on - your mind is sound.otherwise you would not be writing consistantly good work. Keep it up and carry on. Warm regards Dorothy x
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Hello Jaybird, you have written a great poem with added aabb rhyme maintained throughout and the contend is sound. You write what a great many think when they reach a certain age, and even before. I particularly like your first stanza -
The wheels of my life keep daily spinning,
as I hang on for another inning.
My body is bent, my eye sight long gone,
I hope that fate will let me carry on.
I'm sure fate will let you carry on - your mind is sound.otherwise you would not be writing consistantly good work. Keep it up and carry on. Warm regards Dorothy x
Comment Written 25-Oct-2021
Comment from Seshadri_Sreenivasan
Yes. The wheels of life should be kept running. If it gets stuck in place, put your shoulder to it. But ultimately, love and happiness will keep the wheels spinning smoothly to our destination. Thanks for sharing your wonderful words of wisdom.
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Yes. The wheels of life should be kept running. If it gets stuck in place, put your shoulder to it. But ultimately, love and happiness will keep the wheels spinning smoothly to our destination. Thanks for sharing your wonderful words of wisdom.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2021
Comment from Cogitator
I feel you, my brother. One nit (come vs comes) in stanza 3. Perhaps sooner rather than soon in stanza 2. Many oldsters can relate, I am sure. Excellent message...John
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I feel you, my brother. One nit (come vs comes) in stanza 3. Perhaps sooner rather than soon in stanza 2. Many oldsters can relate, I am sure. Excellent message...John
Comment Written 25-Oct-2021
Comment from Paul McFarland
Jaybird, If the wheels of your life keep on spinning, put it in four-wheel drive. Has it been a long lonely road? I hope you have had some companionship along the way.
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Jaybird, If the wheels of your life keep on spinning, put it in four-wheel drive. Has it been a long lonely road? I hope you have had some companionship along the way.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2021
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
96 years old, and still writing such wise poetry. You are incredible, Jaybird. Your mind is as sharp as ever, and you are not ready to give up yet. I applaud you, my friend. Over the years we on Fanstory have got to know you, and what a kind man you are. This poem shows us that you've had a good life, seen some times that were less than nice, but more that were the best. That is life, pure and simple. Keep going, my friend, I'm sure God has been walking by your side for many years. Warm hugs. Sandra xxx
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96 years old, and still writing such wise poetry. You are incredible, Jaybird. Your mind is as sharp as ever, and you are not ready to give up yet. I applaud you, my friend. Over the years we on Fanstory have got to know you, and what a kind man you are. This poem shows us that you've had a good life, seen some times that were less than nice, but more that were the best. That is life, pure and simple. Keep going, my friend, I'm sure God has been walking by your side for many years. Warm hugs. Sandra xxx
Comment Written 25-Oct-2021
Comment from Jesse James Doty
Wow, Jaybird, we miss you ever so much! You've written the greatest swansong that has ever been written on this site!
If ever so often you notice the flowers blooming and the sweet song of the morning bird! Just know in your heart that love will last forever and ever amen!!
I do not know you well but am glad I read this epitaph, Goodbye, Jaybird, I will see you in the heavens if that is what is happening to us!!!
Jesse
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Wow, Jaybird, we miss you ever so much! You've written the greatest swansong that has ever been written on this site!
If ever so often you notice the flowers blooming and the sweet song of the morning bird! Just know in your heart that love will last forever and ever amen!!
I do not know you well but am glad I read this epitaph, Goodbye, Jaybird, I will see you in the heavens if that is what is happening to us!!!
Jesse
Comment Written 25-Oct-2021
Comment from Gloria ....
Jay I can't tell you what an honour it has been to read your poems over the last few years. You write beautifully with imagination, conviction and always honesty.
I see from your profile you have been writing poetry for seventy-five years. That is amazing, and you have an unparalleled collection for all posterity.
Always great to hear your thoughts my friend. :))
Gloria
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Jay I can't tell you what an honour it has been to read your poems over the last few years. You write beautifully with imagination, conviction and always honesty.
I see from your profile you have been writing poetry for seventy-five years. That is amazing, and you have an unparalleled collection for all posterity.
Always great to hear your thoughts my friend. :))
Gloria
Comment Written 25-Oct-2021
Comment from Gert sherwood
A personal lamentation- sonnet
Wheels Of Life
Jaybird you sonnet poem is written with words that are true about when we are ready to meet our Maker; it has thoughts like this---
If our mind is sound we always want more,
before time and fate comes to close the door.
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A personal lamentation- sonnet
Wheels Of Life
Jaybird you sonnet poem is written with words that are true about when we are ready to meet our Maker; it has thoughts like this---
If our mind is sound we always want more,
before time and fate comes to close the door.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2021
Comment from MissMerri
Jay, I think you've expressed your thoughts so well in this neat poem. And your author notes add a deeper dimension to the theme of life coming to a close. It is true, as we get past the expected life span, we are forced to consider how much time remains to us. I wonder too. I always enjoy your poetry and you always make me think. MM
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Jay, I think you've expressed your thoughts so well in this neat poem. And your author notes add a deeper dimension to the theme of life coming to a close. It is true, as we get past the expected life span, we are forced to consider how much time remains to us. I wonder too. I always enjoy your poetry and you always make me think. MM
Comment Written 24-Oct-2021
