Comment from LisaMay

Excellent

Double crossing someone who was double-crossed seems a bit of a mean trick, but clearly this is a story with no moral integrity. I admire your storytelling - the drama is gripping, and the characters come to life (and death).

 Comment Written 29-Oct-2021

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reply by the author on 29-Oct-2021

Thank you for reading and for your review!

Comment from royowen

Excellent

This is a horror story with a moral, "never hire a hit man with principles, just in case in backfires" this is an excellent entry in this contest, and not only with a touch of irony, but also with great wit and humour, well done, good luck, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 29-Oct-2021

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reply by the author on 29-Oct-2021

Thanks for your review and for wishing me luck!

Comment from Jeff Watkins

Exceptional

This story lives up to its title, and the some. The narrative and dialogue work well and created a fast-paced story. Use quotation marks around "That bitch...." Jeff

 Comment Written 29-Oct-2021

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reply by the author on 29-Oct-2021

Thanks for your feedback. I fixed the quotation marks.

Comment from Patty Palmer

Excellent

This is good. I had all kinds of ideas when I first started reading. I figured he was going to have her killed but the assassin killing the guy was unexpected. Good job and good luck with the contest.
Patty

 Comment Written 29-Oct-2021

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reply by the author on 29-Oct-2021

Thanks so much for your review!

Comment from Wendy G

Excellent

Oh this is a very clever story with an excellent twist at the end, two twists really. So well written too. You maintained the reader's interest very well. Best wishes for your great story in the contest.
Wendy

 Comment Written 29-Oct-2021

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reply by the author on 29-Oct-2021

Thank you!

Comment from SimianSavant

Excellent

Great story, with excellent pacing designed with clever phrasing, believable conversation and context, and a brilliant punchline at the end. Some very small punctuation edits:

Vito still looked very much like what he was; a professional hit man. **I think this should probably be a colon instead. Same thing after "It's all in the suitcase".

That's why I brought the body here. **end quote

Thanks for the entertaining read!

 Comment Written 29-Oct-2021

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reply by the author on 29-Oct-2021

Thank you for reading and for the punctuation tips!

Comment from dellsworthpoet

Excellent

A ripping story. The set up is good. The pace is appropriate. The images are sharp. The story stays on point. The twist at the end makes it slightly humorous. The dialogue is believable.

Thanks for a good read.

 Comment Written 29-Oct-2021

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reply by the author on 29-Oct-2021

Thank you!

reply by dellsworthpoet on 29-Oct-2021

You are welcome.

Comment from Carol Hillebrenner

Exceptional

This is really a great story without any hole in the plot to make it improbable. I suspect it is publishable as it is, a short tale of revenge. I don't know what contest you entered exactly but I think you have a lock on the first place. I'll be looking for more of your work.

 Comment Written 28-Oct-2021

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reply by the author on 29-Oct-2021

Thanks for the review and the encouragement!

Comment from Sherry Asbury

Excellent

I can't wait to see who you are writer. You sure do have a mean, vindictive streak only to be surpassed by by-the-book Vito. Crazy story and really well-done.

 Comment Written 28-Oct-2021

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reply by the author on 28-Oct-2021

Thanks so much for your review! Glad you enjoyed my story.

reply by Sherry Asbury on 28-Oct-2021

Loved it!

Comment from Terry Broxson

Exceptional

Dang, this is great! I did not see that coming. The imagery and dialogue that you paint for these two crooks is just terrific. As I read it, it was almost hearing an old time crime noir radio show. Good Luck in the Contest, If I vote you win!

 Comment Written 28-Oct-2021

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reply by the author on 28-Oct-2021

Thanks so much for your encouragement!

reply by the author on 28-Oct-2021

Thanks so much for your encouragement!