Perennial presence
About love memory2 total reviews
Comment from Terry Broxson
A haunting poem of a lost love. You have very good imagery of what you miss, what you hear, what you feel and how it hurts. Good Job. I will offer you this suggestion. For some reason the second line bothers me. Would it be better to say "From" instead "of"? Or what about editing the first and second line...I don't know where...To hide your memory...It might flow better. Just a suggestion, you are the author, I defer to you.
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A haunting poem of a lost love. You have very good imagery of what you miss, what you hear, what you feel and how it hurts. Good Job. I will offer you this suggestion. For some reason the second line bothers me. Would it be better to say "From" instead "of"? Or what about editing the first and second line...I don't know where...To hide your memory...It might flow better. Just a suggestion, you are the author, I defer to you.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2021
Comment from C. Gale Burnett
I enjoyed the emotion I felt from the narrator as I read the entirety of the poem, a story of the going away of someone in her life, but now a memory that stays with her with every breath she takes, and his face always in her mind's eye.
My favorite part was:
'every thought in my silence ...
they do not transit
down the path of oblivion
the steps of your name
perennial echo in my ears'
The last two lines were a great wrap-up for your beautiful poem of longing.
Gale
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I enjoyed the emotion I felt from the narrator as I read the entirety of the poem, a story of the going away of someone in her life, but now a memory that stays with her with every breath she takes, and his face always in her mind's eye.
My favorite part was:
'every thought in my silence ...
they do not transit
down the path of oblivion
the steps of your name
perennial echo in my ears'
The last two lines were a great wrap-up for your beautiful poem of longing.
Gale
Comment Written 20-Oct-2021
