O My God and Mother Nature!
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Always!"Appreciation of God and Mother Nature
59 total reviews
Comment from Sue_Angel
You made me read it a few times... probably a sign that you've captured something here. The first line about living live had me a little confused. I also think I'd capitalize the word "Mother" if it refers to Mother Nature.
Maybe you can help me remember -- was one of the requirements of a Haiku that it had to have something to do with Nature (which yours does, so this isn't a criticism, just a question), or am I all wet? :-)
All in all, though, good job!
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You made me read it a few times... probably a sign that you've captured something here. The first line about living live had me a little confused. I also think I'd capitalize the word "Mother" if it refers to Mother Nature.
Maybe you can help me remember -- was one of the requirements of a Haiku that it had to have something to do with Nature (which yours does, so this isn't a criticism, just a question), or am I all wet? :-)
All in all, though, good job!
Comment Written 18-May-2006
Comment from Hetty
Hi Alcreator,
Blimey! You're a deep thinker, aren't you? A nice haiku with profound thought and a nice flow.
I always find your work interesting...
Hetty
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Hi Alcreator,
Blimey! You're a deep thinker, aren't you? A nice haiku with profound thought and a nice flow.
I always find your work interesting...
Hetty
Comment Written 18-May-2006
Comment from Swagman
I'm not a great fan of haiku style poetry but I do know a haiku poem isn't easy to write so i'll give you 5 stars for effort. I think you have a good choice for your subject and have made a profound, complete thought. The first line was a bit distracting.
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I'm not a great fan of haiku style poetry but I do know a haiku poem isn't easy to write so i'll give you 5 stars for effort. I think you have a good choice for your subject and have made a profound, complete thought. The first line was a bit distracting.
Comment Written 18-May-2006
Comment from Bellydanser
Teach us living live ("living live" seems a jarring combination in this line)
Infinitely like mother (I love this line, comparing nature to a nurturing mother, I'm assuming)
We feel, learn or not (again, this line seems a little abrupt - instead of "not" is there a single-syllable antonym for learn?)
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Teach us living live ("living live" seems a jarring combination in this line)
Infinitely like mother (I love this line, comparing nature to a nurturing mother, I'm assuming)
We feel, learn or not (again, this line seems a little abrupt - instead of "not" is there a single-syllable antonym for learn?)
Comment Written 18-May-2006
Comment from bluetwo
I assume this is exactly what you wanted to post, but I don't see why. I got nothing from this poem at all, no images, no emotions, no thoughts.
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I assume this is exactly what you wanted to post, but I don't see why. I got nothing from this poem at all, no images, no emotions, no thoughts.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-May-2006
Comment from kseaney
you know i enjoy what you write, this time i must make a suggestion
Teach us living live (( try life ))
Infinitely like mother
We feel, learn or not
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you know i enjoy what you write, this time i must make a suggestion
Teach us living live (( try life ))
Infinitely like mother
We feel, learn or not
Comment Written 18-May-2006
Comment from Irina
Pretty lovely haiku!
We feel, learn or not
Great thought!
The form of poetry I like very much.
Thank you for sharing this true poem!
Irina.
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Pretty lovely haiku!
We feel, learn or not
Great thought!
The form of poetry I like very much.
Thank you for sharing this true poem!
Irina.
Comment Written 18-May-2006
Comment from Dreamdancer
Hi,
Beautiful my friend. Mother earth is the circle-- from her we are born and return when our time is done-- yet we do not end for we give back the life she has given. I like the way this piece makes me think and feel and to me my friend that is the best kind of poetry... Buddy
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Hi,
Beautiful my friend. Mother earth is the circle-- from her we are born and return when our time is done-- yet we do not end for we give back the life she has given. I like the way this piece makes me think and feel and to me my friend that is the best kind of poetry... Buddy
Comment Written 18-May-2006
Comment from GRSaine
Hi ALCREATOR WRITER,
Excellent writing in your short but strong work, "Always"! A powerful message is contained in those 12 words, and is a message that should be read and memorized by all. Great ideas.
GRSaine
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Hi ALCREATOR WRITER,
Excellent writing in your short but strong work, "Always"! A powerful message is contained in those 12 words, and is a message that should be read and memorized by all. Great ideas.
GRSaine
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-May-2006
