O My God and Mother Nature!
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Always!"Appreciation of God and Mother Nature
59 total reviews
Comment from Knitmeup
I was very interested to read your guidelines for what feedback you'd accept and what you wouldn't. I really think you need to change the word "live" to "life" or something else because it just doesn't work for me. I read it at least 8 times, read your author's note, read it again and it simply doesn't fit with the rest of the poem, which, by the way is tight and succinct and very well-knit.
--Jana
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I was very interested to read your guidelines for what feedback you'd accept and what you wouldn't. I really think you need to change the word "live" to "life" or something else because it just doesn't work for me. I read it at least 8 times, read your author's note, read it again and it simply doesn't fit with the rest of the poem, which, by the way is tight and succinct and very well-knit.
--Jana
Comment Written 20-May-2006
Comment from MikeSamford
HAIKU (HIGH-koo)
A Japanese form of poetry consisting of three unrhymed lines of five, seven, and five syllables. The elusive flavor of the form, however, lies more in its touch and tone than in its syllabic structure. Deeply imbedded in Japanese culture and strongly influenced by Zen Buddhism, haiku are very brief descriptions of nature that convey some implicit insight or essence of a moment. Traditionally, they contain either a direct or oblique reference to a season:
A field of tulips--
convulsions of vivid hues
bouncing on the breeze
-- rgs
SENRYU (SEN-ree-yoo)
A 3-line unrhymed Japanese poetic form structurally similar to the haiku, but dealing with human rather than physical nature, usually in an ironic or satiric vein.
I had to go to Bob Byways Glossary to see which one of the descriptions fit your poem, I still do not know! So good poem, good write, good what ever label you want to put on it!
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HAIKU (HIGH-koo)
A Japanese form of poetry consisting of three unrhymed lines of five, seven, and five syllables. The elusive flavor of the form, however, lies more in its touch and tone than in its syllabic structure. Deeply imbedded in Japanese culture and strongly influenced by Zen Buddhism, haiku are very brief descriptions of nature that convey some implicit insight or essence of a moment. Traditionally, they contain either a direct or oblique reference to a season:
A field of tulips--
convulsions of vivid hues
bouncing on the breeze
-- rgs
SENRYU (SEN-ree-yoo)
A 3-line unrhymed Japanese poetic form structurally similar to the haiku, but dealing with human rather than physical nature, usually in an ironic or satiric vein.
I had to go to Bob Byways Glossary to see which one of the descriptions fit your poem, I still do not know! So good poem, good write, good what ever label you want to put on it!
Comment Written 20-May-2006
Comment from sengwriter
Good write. Just enough to pay a minute tribute to the Mother Nature.
Nature has got a lot to give us, only problem is for us to accept it, but not to destroy it.
We should nurture the Nature so that it would nurture us in turn like a real loving mother.
Thank you my dear friend for contributing such a cute yet valuable piece for us.
Gautam
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Good write. Just enough to pay a minute tribute to the Mother Nature.
Nature has got a lot to give us, only problem is for us to accept it, but not to destroy it.
We should nurture the Nature so that it would nurture us in turn like a real loving mother.
Thank you my dear friend for contributing such a cute yet valuable piece for us.
Gautam
Comment Written 20-May-2006
Comment from GrandmaSharon
Thank you for explaining the poem. You highbrow types have to make allowaences for those who are not educated in the poetry world.
Someday . . . when I have time . . . or when I make time . . .
Keep on writing,
Sharon
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Thank you for explaining the poem. You highbrow types have to make allowaences for those who are not educated in the poetry world.
Someday . . . when I have time . . . or when I make time . . .
Keep on writing,
Sharon
Comment Written 20-May-2006
Comment from L K Pinaire
Maybe, "Teach the living life,"
This is good, but just a suggestion. I enjoyed it. It's simplicity is almost interesting. Best of luck to you.*********************************************
Good writing,
Larry
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Maybe, "Teach the living life,"
This is good, but just a suggestion. I enjoyed it. It's simplicity is almost interesting. Best of luck to you.*********************************************
Good writing,
Larry
Comment Written 20-May-2006
Comment from tgeoff
Very nicely done. I do a few senryus myself and an occassional haiku, so I appreciate the effort.
Look forward to more of your writing
ciao
geoff
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Very nicely done. I do a few senryus myself and an occassional haiku, so I appreciate the effort.
Look forward to more of your writing
ciao
geoff
Comment Written 20-May-2006
Comment from aBoxofBrokenCrayons
Great tanka. These are always tricky with just the handful of syllables that you're allowed.
Nits:
"living live" *Tongue twister, right?
"mother" *Capitalize.
Paul-
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Great tanka. These are always tricky with just the handful of syllables that you're allowed.
Nits:
"living live" *Tongue twister, right?
"mother" *Capitalize.
Paul-
Comment Written 20-May-2006
Comment from H. Rebecca
If we listen, nature teaches us to slow down, destress, smell the roses. One must not forget to enjoy life because it is the only one we have.
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If we listen, nature teaches us to slow down, destress, smell the roses. One must not forget to enjoy life because it is the only one we have.
Comment Written 20-May-2006
Comment from Sancha
Sadly, my review is going to be longer than your poem. It amazes me how some people can say so much with so little. This poem really hit home to me. I am a nature lover by heart and have a hard time explaining why to people; this poem nails it dead on. Excellent writing.
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Sadly, my review is going to be longer than your poem. It amazes me how some people can say so much with so little. This poem really hit home to me. I am a nature lover by heart and have a hard time explaining why to people; this poem nails it dead on. Excellent writing.
Comment Written 20-May-2006
Comment from Zev06
I am not sure what you are trying to say with this small piece, but I get the feeling it is rather important. This poem has left me a little puzzled, I will have to run the words over in my mind a little more.
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I am not sure what you are trying to say with this small piece, but I get the feeling it is rather important. This poem has left me a little puzzled, I will have to run the words over in my mind a little more.
Comment Written 19-May-2006
