Cheerless
A 3/7/5 Contest Entry15 total reviews
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Sally,
I think there are a lot of poor souls out there who are depressed these days. Everyone is tired of this pandemic... masks, washing hands everywhere you go, DON'T TOUCH YOUR FACE!, test kits, to vax of not to vax, etc. It weighs you down... like a heavy flower under cloudy skies, your sunflower. But I've noticed even leaves slouch under gray skies.
I sense a sailor here. Someone with empty pockets, trying to survive, to see a light at the end of a tunnel... because he says: "I can't seem to lift me head" ... no mistaking "me" instead of "my". Sailor slang. You wrote that on purpose, as a clue. This honest tale is coming from a poor man, who has nothing. He'd be the last one to tell it like it is. A rich man would be jumping off a cliff.
Can I offer my version, just for fun? You've inspired me.
Depression...
I can't seem to hoist me head
and notice the sun.
Glad I stumbled on this one tonight, my dear! There's a story here.
Hugs,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2021
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Hi Sally,
I think there are a lot of poor souls out there who are depressed these days. Everyone is tired of this pandemic... masks, washing hands everywhere you go, DON'T TOUCH YOUR FACE!, test kits, to vax of not to vax, etc. It weighs you down... like a heavy flower under cloudy skies, your sunflower. But I've noticed even leaves slouch under gray skies.
I sense a sailor here. Someone with empty pockets, trying to survive, to see a light at the end of a tunnel... because he says: "I can't seem to lift me head" ... no mistaking "me" instead of "my". Sailor slang. You wrote that on purpose, as a clue. This honest tale is coming from a poor man, who has nothing. He'd be the last one to tell it like it is. A rich man would be jumping off a cliff.
Can I offer my version, just for fun? You've inspired me.
Depression...
I can't seem to hoist me head
and notice the sun.
Glad I stumbled on this one tonight, my dear! There's a story here.
Hugs,
Kimbob
Comment Written 07-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2021
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Thank you for the wonderful view and interpretation. An accurate take on this one. Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs...
Comment from PoemsOfDD
Sally, this is a good 3-7-5 writing prompt entry.
The picture and the message depicts well the scene of depression.
I did pond the middle line, though - I can't seem to lift me head
Did you mean to say - me head - or - my head -?
Best of luck and thank you for sharing :-) ~DDx
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2021
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Sally, this is a good 3-7-5 writing prompt entry.
The picture and the message depicts well the scene of depression.
I did pond the middle line, though - I can't seem to lift me head
Did you mean to say - me head - or - my head -?
Best of luck and thank you for sharing :-) ~DDx
Comment Written 10-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2021
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Thank you for the lovely review, dear DD! Yes, I meant me head. A bit of Irish brogue. I used it recently in: The Wash Woman. Sending you my very best,
Sal XOs..
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Your words plus the picture paint a sad image of depression, Sally. Great job with the syllable count per line. Your poem speaks volumes with so few words/syllables.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2021
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Your words plus the picture paint a sad image of depression, Sally. Great job with the syllable count per line. Your poem speaks volumes with so few words/syllables.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 09-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2021
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Thank you, dear Jan. A true verse for me right now.
Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs...
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is a poignant write as depression consumes and those suffering can't seem to lift themselves out of it. We have for years searched for a solution and still people suffer with it, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2021
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This is a poignant write as depression consumes and those suffering can't seem to lift themselves out of it. We have for years searched for a solution and still people suffer with it, love Dolly x
Comment Written 09-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2021
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Thank you so much!
Comment from Wendy G
A perfect image to cover the thoughts of your poem - and that is definitely the feeling of depression, when everything is too much effort. Well written. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2021
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A perfect image to cover the thoughts of your poem - and that is definitely the feeling of depression, when everything is too much effort. Well written. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
Comment Written 08-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2021
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Thank you so much!
Comment from papa55mike
It's awful to fall into that pit of depression where you can't even find the sun. What a wonderfully written poem. I wish I had a six for you.
Good luck in the contest!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2021
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It's awful to fall into that pit of depression where you can't even find the sun. What a wonderfully written poem. I wish I had a six for you.
Good luck in the contest!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment Written 08-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2021
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Thank you so very very much!
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This really is depression when you can't actually reach out for what is good for you. Your poem is well written, and I wish you good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2021
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This really is depression when you can't actually reach out for what is good for you. Your poem is well written, and I wish you good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 08-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2021
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Thank you so much!
Comment from Bill Schott
This 3-7-5, Cheerless, has the right set up and uses the picture of the sunflower well to represent the feelings presented. I question whether the use of 'me' is either a regional affect, a dramatic interpretation, or a misspelling of 'my'.
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2021
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This 3-7-5, Cheerless, has the right set up and uses the picture of the sunflower well to represent the feelings presented. I question whether the use of 'me' is either a regional affect, a dramatic interpretation, or a misspelling of 'my'.
Comment Written 08-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2021
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Thank you for the lovely review. 'Me head' is Gaelic/Irish.
Comment from Mary Shifman
I like the poem and the picture is very appropriate. I have felt that way too many times in my life. I wonder though if you meant to use "me" head or "my" head. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2021
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I like the poem and the picture is very appropriate. I have felt that way too many times in my life. I wonder though if you meant to use "me" head or "my" head. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 07-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2021
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Thank you so much! I meant [me] head. A little Irish flair for the entry.
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I thought that might be the reason it was there, just checking.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Depression can suck the life right out of us, but the warmth and brightness of sunshine can pick up our heads as well as the sunflowers. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2021
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Depression can suck the life right out of us, but the warmth and brightness of sunshine can pick up our heads as well as the sunflowers. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 07-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2021
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Thank you very much!
