Autumn flings down leaves
Haiku28 total reviews
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Very nice image and
presentation, Sanku.
-A good haiku with
effective nature and
seasonal imagery.
-I like the play on words
with "fall" and the
description of the leaves.
-A good satori line.
-Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2021
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-Very nice image and
presentation, Sanku.
-A good haiku with
effective nature and
seasonal imagery.
-I like the play on words
with "fall" and the
description of the leaves.
-A good satori line.
-Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 06-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2021
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thank you very much for this lovely review.
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You are quite welcome.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Autumn flings down leaves
by Sanku
Excellent autumn haiku. Good syllables count and connection between lines. The satori and kigo are good. The black font over orange is hard to read. I would use a light font.
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2021
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Autumn flings down leaves
by Sanku
Excellent autumn haiku. Good syllables count and connection between lines. The satori and kigo are good. The black font over orange is hard to read. I would use a light font.
Comment Written 06-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2021
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Sorry for that.I will bear that in mind.Thank you for reviewing .I have a doubt
Can I put a comma in the middle of a line? is that allowed?
I wanted to put comma after 'detached'.
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Autumn flings red leaves
to fall after their last dance-
detached trees stand still
It's perfect the way it is. No comma. In haiku we use little punctuation and if it happens is at the end of a line, like you have a dash after (dance--)
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Glorious and powerful--autumn flings!--a fresh take on fall--clever twist of the usual imagery--startling conception of the tree as detached vs the leaves being detached from it.
Sugg: Flings [down=>(superfluous) choose a vivid or evocative adjective to enhance the imagery, e.g. flings red leaves
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2021
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Glorious and powerful--autumn flings!--a fresh take on fall--clever twist of the usual imagery--startling conception of the tree as detached vs the leaves being detached from it.
Sugg: Flings [down=>(superfluous) choose a vivid or evocative adjective to enhance the imagery, e.g. flings red leaves
Comment Written 06-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2021
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Thank you for that suggestion. You are right it is superfluous .
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This poem speaks natural activity of the season autumn, poetic imagery of the seasonal activity and environmental observation is well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2021
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This poem speaks natural activity of the season autumn, poetic imagery of the seasonal activity and environmental observation is well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
Comment Written 06-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2021
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Thank you very much.
Comment from Seshadri_Sreenivasan
What an unusual way to describe autumn. I enjoyed it. We don't have wonderful autumn season. I have experienced it during my stay in Germany and my visits to USA where my son is living. One suggestion. Can you make the fonts larger (28 font size) and centre them for better visual impact? Cheers!
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2021
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What an unusual way to describe autumn. I enjoyed it. We don't have wonderful autumn season. I have experienced it during my stay in Germany and my visits to USA where my son is living. One suggestion. Can you make the fonts larger (28 font size) and centre them for better visual impact? Cheers!
Comment Written 06-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2021
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I am ashamed to say that I am not tech savvy.i never use the advance editor somehow I bungle when I do.I amplanning to practice on my old posts.
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It is really simple. Don;t get overawed by those button. Go to editing. Highlight the poem. Choose the larger font size. Then there are 4 small horizontal bars. Click on align centre. You are done.! try it out on your old poem first. Good luck!
Comment from LisaMay
Your haiku makes me feel sad. it suggests the leaves' absence has impacted on the trees to have a sense of detachment - an emotional stillness after the dancing flurry of autumn.
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2021
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Your haiku makes me feel sad. it suggests the leaves' absence has impacted on the trees to have a sense of detachment - an emotional stillness after the dancing flurry of autumn.
Comment Written 06-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2021
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Thank you very much. there is sadness associated with autumn ,I think..
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I enjoyed your haiku entry. Great job on its style. Your art choice is perfect though your words paint their own image.
Best wishes in the contest.
Respectfully, Jan
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reply by the author on 10-Oct-2021
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I enjoyed your haiku entry. Great job on its style. Your art choice is perfect though your words paint their own image.
Best wishes in the contest.
Respectfully, Jan
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2021
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It is not a contest. It was a club entry.Thanks for your lovely words.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this poem with us. Autumn is my favorite season. Your poem offers an interesting take on it. I'm sure the trees are lonely after the leaves leave. How sad.
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reply by the author on 10-Oct-2021
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Thank you for sharing this poem with us. Autumn is my favorite season. Your poem offers an interesting take on it. I'm sure the trees are lonely after the leaves leave. How sad.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2021
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Thank you very much.
