Spread your wings and fly
Finding my muse6 total reviews
Comment from Toni Newell
I really enjoyed reading this poem. It was beautifully written and I could feel the spirituality oozing from the lines. I liked "I am the master of my own ship in calm and stormy seas" Thank you.
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2021
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I really enjoyed reading this poem. It was beautifully written and I could feel the spirituality oozing from the lines. I liked "I am the master of my own ship in calm and stormy seas" Thank you.
Comment Written 08-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2021
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Thank you so much for the great review 🙂
Comment from Annette R.
Loved the picture first of all. And we are both on a spiritual journey from now until eternity. I also like the reference to the majestic butterfly. Good job!
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2021
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Loved the picture first of all. And we are both on a spiritual journey from now until eternity. I also like the reference to the majestic butterfly. Good job!
Comment Written 07-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2021
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Thank you
Comment from Wendy G
You have written a fine free verse poem, about finding your true self and being free to be yourself. It is thoughtfully composed. I wish you well for your entry in the contest.
Wendy
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2021
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You have written a fine free verse poem, about finding your true self and being free to be yourself. It is thoughtfully composed. I wish you well for your entry in the contest.
Wendy
Comment Written 04-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2021
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Thank you so much 🙂
Comment from kahpot
Very well written and presented, I love of this work and the excellent form it is written in, and we are all individually unique a wonderful entry for this prompt, best wishes for your contest****kahpot
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2021
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Very well written and presented, I love of this work and the excellent form it is written in, and we are all individually unique a wonderful entry for this prompt, best wishes for your contest****kahpot
Comment Written 04-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2021
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Thank you 🙂
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This non-fiction under Self-Improvement Free Verse Poem writing prompt entry speaks simply, vividly, confidently and in a free flow of thoughts about writing and painting therapeutic to you and is your muse; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2021
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This non-fiction under Self-Improvement Free Verse Poem writing prompt entry speaks simply, vividly, confidently and in a free flow of thoughts about writing and painting therapeutic to you and is your muse; well said, well done; thanks for sharing this. ALCREATOR
Comment Written 04-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2021
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Thank you 🙂
Comment from SimianSavant
Hi! Thanks for your putting yourself out there with your contest entry. Please don't be discouraged by my two star rating; I am just trying to follow the rating criteria set out by the site. This is a good start and I see some opportunities for improvement; if you make some edits I will be happy to revise up my rating.
*I will practice loving kindness it's very self healing to me.* run-on sentence
*Writing and painting is my greatest muse.* these are two different crafts, so either they are your two greatest muses, or one of them is your greatest muse and you can choose the more important if the two!
Rhyming scheme: you have nine stanzas. The last six rhyme in pairs; the first three do not. I think your flow would work better, if you're not going to rhyme them all, if you either start with the rhyming or do it someone intermittently. When you start without that form but then switch into it, it is somewhat jarring, at least to me.
Watch out for cliches (overused phrases). Poetry is an opportunity to escape cliches. Such as *spread my wings and fly*, *soar to new heights*, *be the best I can be*, *calm and stormy seas*. Think about different ways you can say these things in a way that is unique and feels personal. Imagine you are making up a new cliche that people might want to use someday.
Looking forward to your second draft!
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2021
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Hi! Thanks for your putting yourself out there with your contest entry. Please don't be discouraged by my two star rating; I am just trying to follow the rating criteria set out by the site. This is a good start and I see some opportunities for improvement; if you make some edits I will be happy to revise up my rating.
*I will practice loving kindness it's very self healing to me.* run-on sentence
*Writing and painting is my greatest muse.* these are two different crafts, so either they are your two greatest muses, or one of them is your greatest muse and you can choose the more important if the two!
Rhyming scheme: you have nine stanzas. The last six rhyme in pairs; the first three do not. I think your flow would work better, if you're not going to rhyme them all, if you either start with the rhyming or do it someone intermittently. When you start without that form but then switch into it, it is somewhat jarring, at least to me.
Watch out for cliches (overused phrases). Poetry is an opportunity to escape cliches. Such as *spread my wings and fly*, *soar to new heights*, *be the best I can be*, *calm and stormy seas*. Think about different ways you can say these things in a way that is unique and feels personal. Imagine you are making up a new cliche that people might want to use someday.
Looking forward to your second draft!
Comment Written 04-Oct-2021
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2021
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Ok thanks
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Mmmn this is the lowest rating I ever received on fanstory in almost two years. Wow!
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Well sorry about that! Please don't be discouraged or give up. If you disagree with my comments, no hard feelings! I can be a tough editor and I don't give out a lot of five star reviews. If the cliches were intended ironically I would examine the poem differently. It's a blind review, and I?m not judging your work for the contest, just trying to give feedback that helps people get as good as they possibly can, and I bet you are capable of much more than you think.
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Thank you
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I like constructive criticism anything that will help me improve in my writing.
